Tag Archive for: body respect

A Closer Look at What Intuitive Eating Is—and What it is Not!

Have you ever taken a deep dive into understanding what Intuitive Eating really is? There are many misconceptions around the concepts and lessons promoted within Intuitive Eating—but the confusion stops here.

Intuitive eating is a self-care eating framework that helps you attune to your internal body signals, break the cycle of chronic dieting, and heal your relationship with food and your body.

Intuitive Eating is NOT a diet, it is NOT a meal plan, and it is certainly NOT “for weight loss”.

Benefits of Intuitive Eating

There are currently over 120 studies that show Intuitive Eating:

  • Increases body appreciation
  • Improves life satisfaction
  • Increases motivation for movement
  • Increases intake of nourishing foods
  • Improves overall health
  • Decreases disordered eating behaviors (i.e., bingeing)

But What Exactly is Intuitive Eating?

Intuitive Eating was developed by two registered dietitians, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. It “integrates instinct, emotion and rational thought”. (www.intuitiveeating.org)

It is a process that enables you to attune to what your body needs and allows you to trust what your body is telling you.

With Intuitive Eating, there is no diet plan, counting calories, macros, weight check-ins, or “off limit” foods—it’s exactly the opposite!

Intuitive Eating instead focuses on teaching you to eat and think OUTSIDE of the diet mentality and diet culture messages.

The focus is on internal cues like your hunger, fullness, and satisfaction, while helping you to move away from the external cues you are so accustomed to using to guide your eating, such as food rules and restriction.

In other words, Intuitive Eating…

 …4 Things that Intuitive Eating Helps You Achieve

(1) Encourages you to become the expert of your own body.

 Believe it or not, we are ALL born Intuitive Eaters! We are all born knowing how much we need to eat, when to eat, and what we would like to eat, yet unfortunately, as we grow up, this ability is clouded by the messages of diet culture and the environment in which we grow up in.

Does this sound familiar?

  • Having to finish your plate at dinner time in order to watch TV or get dessert.
  • Hearing the messages that “thin is best” or “to be thin is to be healthy”
  • Feeling that choosing “good” vs “bad” foods is a direct reflection of how you should feel about yourself.

All these messages, both from your caregivers and diet culture, teaches you to ignore your internal cues and not trust your body.

As you grow older, you often find yourself feeding into these messages, rules and regulations set forth by diet culture.

You are led to believe that in order to “be healthy”, you must follow a diet and/or restrict your foods, but this is not true at all. Your body knows what is needs and wants, it’s just time to listen to its messages.

(2) Helps develop trust in your body and gives you the confidence to make food choices based on your needs.

The diets have stripped the trust you had in your body when you were born. That might sound distressing, but the good news is that you can regain that trust in yourself again!

When you fully ditch the diet rules and give up dieting for good, you will learn to trust your body again, and you will be amazed at what your body is capable of telling you!

 

(3) Allows you to develop a healthy relationship with food.

Intuitive Eating takes the focus off weight loss, the scale, diet plans, cleanses, and everything that has to do with “diet culture” and instead focuses on developing a better relationship with your food choices and your body.

Intuitive Eating is rooted in ten principles to help move you away from the rules and regulations of dieting. These 10 principles help you attune to your thoughts, feelings, and signals, while learning to integrate health recommendations from the outside world.

 

What Intuitive Eating is NOT

Now that you know a little bit about what Intuitive Eating is all about, let’s discuss what Intuitive Eating is NOT!

4 Things Intuitive eating is NOT…

(1) A diet.

With Intuitive Eating, there is no counting calories, daily weigh-ins, lists of foods to eat vs not eat—in fact all of these things are discouraged when practicing Intuitive Eating.

(2) The hunger/fullness diet.

While Intuitive Eaters do check in regularly with their hunger and fullness signals—there is SO MUCH more to it than this!

Intuitive Eaters approach every meal with curiosity—they ask themselves questions such as:

  • How hungry am I today?
  • Do I want a second serving?
  • How will I feel after I eat ____?

Approaching a meal with curiosity versus judgement (like many dieters do) allows you to learn from situations, like getting to a place of overfullness after a meal or allowing yourself to get too hungry at the end of a long day. Important lessons are learned from these experiences.

(3) A non-dieting weight loss approach.

Intuitive Eating places NO emphasis or pressure on losing weight. The conversation around body weight is instead from a weight-neutral lens. In other words, it promotes physical and mental well-being regardless of one’s body size.

Intuitive Eating does not promise weight loss or any expectation of losing weight.

(4) The “eat whatever I want, whenever I want” mindset.

Yes, Intuitive Eating does promote giving yourself unconditional permission to eat and promotes eating in a way that makes you feel your best—but this doesn’t mean it is a free for all.

At the beginning of your Intuitive Eating journey it is very common for people to eat a lot of foods they had previous restricted, however the drive to eat in this way decreases over time.

Over time, you will normalize these once “forbidden foods” and view them (and all foods) as neutral. All the foods you’ve been dying to have will soon become a part of your normal eating pattern in a way that feels great (and not fearful!)

There you have it!

To get a taste of the awesomeness of Intuitive Eating, check out my Intuitive Eating Basics Course. It’s a LOW investment with HIGH returns!!

 

Click HERE to grab this deal!

5 Ways to Embrace Your Body

We have all been in the position where we’re standing in front of the closet, and although we see numerous clothes, there is nothing that looks appealing. So, you reach in and grab the closest item and just throw it on. Then you realize that outfit doesn’t look good, and the next thing you know you have tried on almost everything in your closet before reluctantly settling on something.

 

When you are uncomfortable with how you look, it is often hard to find clothes that you feel empowered in. Body acceptance is not an easy journey for most people. Even for those who do feel comfortable in their skin, often there will be days when they will go back and forth between how they feel about themselves.

 

How often do you look in the mirror and find yourself criticizing how you look?

 

“If I could just lose ten more pounds, then I would definitely be happier!”

 

This is not uncommon! In fact, several studies have found that 86% of all women are dissatisfied with their bodies and wish to lose weight to “feel better/happier about themselves.”

The Reasons for Body Dissatisfaction 

  • Bullying and teasing
  • Childhood traumas
  • The social media culture—Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok, etc.
  • Other forms of media—magazines, television, computer ads, etc.
  • The culture we live in which is rooted in dieting and weight controlling behaviors to manipulate our bodies to appear a certain way.

In today’s society, many people use size and weight as a definitive element of their identity, personality, and a way of defining their self-worth.

 

For example: 

  • Not purchasing a pair of jeans because they don’t fit in the small size that you want
  • Saying no to a social event because you don’t fit into a certain dress or don’t feel good in your here-and-now body.
  • Using the scale as a way to determine your mood for the day

 

Loving your body and appreciating it takes time. No amount of exercise or dieting will help you achieve that goal. Only when you change your mindset can you truly feel comfortable with yourself.

 

There are some steps that you can take to help learn to love the body that you have.

 

Here Are 5 Ways to Embrace Your Body  

 

1. Acknowledge the Work it’s doing 

Your body has gotten you to the place that you are at today. Through many years of labor and hard work, you have survived and that’s all because of your body. It has even taken you through a pandemic! When you are feeling down on yourself, just try to remember all the wonderful things your body has accomplished thus far.

 

2. Say No to Negative Talk

When you feel yourself about to say or think something mean about yourself, rephrase your thoughts. Instead of focusing on all the negative, think about the positives instead. This also goes for what other people are saying about their bodies or yours.

 

Prioritizing your self-care can help with your perspective and self-talk.

 

3. Incorporate Joyful Movement

This does not mean exercise for weight loss, instead, move your body to help you feel good. Find a movement you enjoy and do it. Exercise releases endorphins, which can elevate your mood and help you see things in a positive light.

 

4. Create a more body positive newsfeed.

Start by doing a deep cleanse of your social media accounts, then fill it with all different body shapes, sizes and colors!

Remember: thin bodies are not the only bodies out there. Filling your newsfeed with all shapes, sizes, and colors will help change your perception of what is “normal” and allow you to learn to accept and love all bodies (even your own!)

Once you’ve rid your social media of all things “perfect” and “unrealistic” watch your “standard of beauty” will quickly change!

 

5.Embrace Intuitive Eating

Say no to dieting and all the empty promises. Understand the underlying reasons why you turn to food for reasons other than hunger, why you eat mindlessly, and commit to taking a different approach to eat. Commit to learning to become an Intuitive Eater, learning to identify gentle hunger and comfortable fullness as your guide to starting and stopping a meal. Learn to cope with your emotions with kindness and not food.

Don’t wait to find the love your body deserves, try to embrace the wonderfulness of you now!

 

Need support? Contact me to set up a free consultation now.

 

How to Free Yourself from Food Fear

If you’re like me, the last few months have been filled with anxiety regarding the uncertainty of the pandemic. It seems like every day the news is reporting something more unnerving than the day before. With everything going on in the world, you are likely experiencing a lot of stress.

You’re not going to be able to control all of the stressors in your life, however you can take charge of some of them. Weight loss companies are aware of how stressed and anxious you are and use this to fuel your insecurities. You may have been hearing more weight loss advertisements on the radio and television lately.

Try not to let these companies take up any headspace, they are just added stress to your life. Instead, think about how wonderful your body has been over the past few months, it has helped you survive a global pandemic. Your body deserves to be celebrated!

Celebrating Your Body through Building Trust

I was thinking about ways you could celebrate your body, and I thought National Macaroni Day would be the perfect time to show your body that you DO trust it. You may not have realized it, but yesterday we celebrated this Macaroni-shaped pasta.

Let’s face it. If you’ve dieted, then more than likely you realize that pasta has been demonized as an “unhealthy” food because it’s a high carbohydrate food. This is unfortunate because you need carbohydrate, it’s the main energy source for your body. And because pasta is delicious!

Macaroni, and other pastas, are chock full of fiber, especially whole-grain varieties. Getting sufficient dietary fiber in your meals throughout the day is an act of self-care!

Fiber keeps your bowel movements regular and helps with satiety. It keeps you fuller for longer, so you aren’t rummaging through the cabinets searching for food throughout the day.

Demonizing Foods

The definition of “demonizing” is to portray as wicked and threatening.

Before I started teaching intuitive eating, it had not occurred to me that there were foods that were being demonized by the diet industry. But as I got knee deep into learning about diet culture and its sneaky ways, I came to find out that there’s a long list of foods that people are afraid to eat.

Yes, afraid! People have a ton of food fear!

“Oh no, I can’t eat _____ (fill in the blank). It’s bad for me.”
“I’m scared to eat _____ (fill in the blank), I will gain weight.”
“I’d love to eat _____ (fill in the blank), but I won’t fit into my pants tomorrow.”

Most of this fear is around weight gain. Yes, sometimes it’s about health. But often even that is under the guise of weight loss.

No one, and I mean no one, no matter what shape or size, should be afraid of food and made to feel that they are wrong or “bad” for eating certain food.

Freedom from Food Fear

One of the ways to get rid of food fear is to learn to build trust around that food. That means that you eat that food, see that nothing “terrible” happened (i.e. you didn’t gain 5 pounds over night), and then eat it again.

I am not talking about binge eating on these foods. Nor am I speaking about “see it, want it, eat it” without any thought given to eat.

That is a BIG misconception about Intuitive Eating. Those who are hesitant to begin this journey think they will “lose control” (their words) around foods. I’ve said this multiple times but it is worth repeating:

Intuitive Eating is NOT about instant gratification!

When you embark on the journey towards giving up dieting to reclaim WholeBody Trust™ through intuitive eating, you are learning to be rid of the food fear and body worry that has plagued you for so many years and decades. It’s a feeling of freedom of not being bound to the chains of dieting! It’s about having pleasure and satisfaction in your meals, without guilt. It’s about learning to tune inward to listen to what your body needs and wants. And to be able to trust it.

For how many more years will you be at war with food and your body? Isn’t it time you gave yourself the gift of peace around food?

Click HERE to schedule a complementary call with me and let’s figure out the best way for you to start this journey.

3 Big Reasons to Take Down Diet Culture

How many times have you seen, heard, or gotten into a heated discussion on the topic of the latest diet trends or weight loss tricks?  It’s everywhere these days, on TV, social media, books, and people claiming they have the hot new approach to help you shed weight fast!

Being a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, I am constantly asked what I think about the latest diet trend that has been pushed on us.  I have spent the last many years of my career helping clients break the spell of diets and dismantle Diet Culture beliefs.  And, when I’m asked those questions about recommending a new diet, it reminds me that there is so much more work to do to help people learn to trust in themselves again.

A major reason that I am so passionate about helping people break free from diets is because of the harm that Diet Culture causes.  Diet Culture is a system of beliefs that focuses on and values weight, shape and size over health, and it equates thinness with higher status and worthiness.

I see the damages of Diet Culture starting younger and younger. Little girls just 9 and 10 years old asking their moms for a diet. These little girls covering themselves up with sweaters and baggie clothes because they are ashamed of their bodies.

This makes me sad. But it also makes me angry at Diet Culture and lights the fire under me to continue to push back against Diet Culture and help women, and these young girls, love themselves for the beautiful person that they are  and respect their bodies for the amazing things it does every day to keep them alive.

3 Reasons to Shut Down Diet Culture

#1: Diet Culture is Dishonest

“Stay away from carbs, they make you fat”.

“The reason you aren’t losing weight is because of all the dairy you consume”.

“Cut out gluten from your diet, it’s really bad for you”.

Diet Culture has spent a lot of time and money trying to convince you that there are certain foods out there that are “good” or “bad’ for you. The food they characterize as “good” will help you lose weight, while the “bad” foods will make you gain weight.

Food fads are encouraged by Diet Culture with the support of the food industry. When scientific research is published, Diet Culture cherry-picks the information that best supports their agenda and launches campaigns to herd consumers to jump on their bandwagon, spending money on their products, lining their pockets.

Listen, there is a difference between implementing nutrition guidelines for your health, and demonizing foods because of the belief that it’ll make you gain weight (or prevent you from losing weight). Now, you might say “no, I’m avoiding this food because it’s not good for my health”. If in fact, this belief is not tied in any way to your thoughts about your weight, then yes, perhaps not eating that food might be in your best interest. But if that belief is tied in any way into your body size, then it is being co-opted by Diet Culture.

If you need further clarity on this, just hit reply!

#2: Diet Culture Disregards Your Best Interest

Any eating pattern that emphasizes how you look over your mental and physical well-being is detrimental. Diet Culture thrives on black-and-white thinking. Eat foods on the “good” list and you’ll lose weight (“good”); eat foods on the “bad” list and you’ll get fat (“bad”). Thin = win in Diet Culture’s mind.

Here’s the thing – people are literally dying to be thin and Diet Culture completely disregards this. Maybe you have suffered with an eating disorder or know someone that is. It destroys your life. Every waking moment is spent worrying about what you’re eating, wearing, how you look, how other people are looking at you etc. It is all consuming. Yet Diet Culture continues to push and push and push.

Your body does so many amazing things for you every day. Just imagine if you didn’t have the use of your hands, legs, or eyes. Would how small your body is be important then?

There is peace in accepting your body as it is in this very moment. This doesn’t mean that you’re “giving up”. This just means that you refuse to let Diet Culture push you any longer. And, instead, you will focus on giving your loving body the respect it deserves, while feeding it well and moving in a way that feels good.

#3: Diet Culture Destroys Your Self-Worth

One of the biggest reasons to shut down Diet Culture is because it’s constantly giving you the message that you’re not good enough. It makes you question your self-worth, often calling attention to things you never considered flaws before.

“Got a muffin top? Never eat these 5 foods again to get rid of it!”

“Do your thighs touch? Do this cleanse to fix that problem!”

Messages like these are toxic to women of all ages. It’s teaching them from a young age that they are nothing more than a sum of their parts and if those parts don’t add up to an unrealistic ideal, they need to do whatever it takes to get there. This has the potential to lead them into a dangerous relationship with food and exercise, twisting their self-perception. Diet Culture destroys your self-esteem and ultimately your self-worth. You come to believe that you are not worthy of love, not worthy of that job you are going for, not worthy of friendship, kindness etc. Diet culture steals your happiness and breaks you down.

It’s Time to Defy Diet Culture

The truth is that body size doesn’t always equate with health. There are plenty of people who are in smaller bodies who have a plethora of health issues. On the flip side, there are people in larger bodies that have no medical issues at all. Diet Culture wants you to be at war with your body because that’s how companies who support it make their billions of dollars every year.  Don’t fall for these tricks, it’s time to break free of Diet Culture and get off the hamster wheel of dieting, for good!

Do you want to join me in shutting down Diet Culture? Let me know in the comments below

Navigating Food and Body Challenges During the Pandemic

Trying to maintain a sense of semblance in these uncertain times can be challenging. I know it is for me. During the day, while I’m working remotely with my clients, my mind and thoughts are one hundred percent focused on supporting my clients. But when the evening falls and I wind down after a long day, I start to feel uneasy. The reports coming in with the latest stats on positive COVID-19 cases and unfortunate deaths sends chills up my spine and my heart and mind fill with worry.

I know I’m not alone. My clients have shared with me how challenging it is for them and I’m sure you feel it too. Being home all day has been bringing up food and body issues for many people. The biggest challenges I’m hearing are:

  • Challenge #1: “I’m finding it difficult to eat on a regular schedule.”
  • Challenge #2: “When I feel anxious or the worry gets too much to bear, I numb out with food. Only after, I feel worse.”
  • Challenge #3: “I find myself looking in the mirror all the time and cringe at what my body looks like. My desire to change my body is all I can think of now that I’m home.”

Here are some strategies you can try for each of these challenges:

Challenge #1: Haphazard eating

Solution: Create a flexible schedule of eating

The most important thing you can do for yourself is to take care of your basic needs, and that includes nourishment. Creating a flexible schedule for when you will eat meals and snacks will help you to fuel your body on a consistent basis.

Note that I said flexible. While I am a big proponent of allowing your body’s hunger signals to guide your eating versus eating by the clock, during times of stress your hunger signals might be blunted. Therefore, having a flexible schedule will allow you to be sure you are fueling yourself even if those signals can’t be relied on right now.

Challenge #2: Numbing out with food

Solution: Pause and determine what you really need

Sometimes it seems as if numbing out with food might be a good solution, so you don’t have to deal with the difficult emotions you are feeling. However, once your binge eating is over, you feel guilty, ashamed, and physically uncomfortable in addition to the original emotions that drove you to the food in the first place.

The best gift you can give yourself in this moment is to PAUSE. Before reaching for the food, hit the pause button and give yourself the space to consider what you are really feeling in that moment. It likely isn’t physical hunger, so what are you truly hungry for? Maybe it’s connection, especially in this time of self-isolation. Maybe it’s a needed rest. The worry of the coronavirus can be exhausting you and the fatigue can be driving you to the food.

Pausing and asking yourself what you are really feeling and what you really need will allow you to take the best care of yourself.

Challenge #3: Body worry

Solution: Appreciate your body as it is now and seek support

This might be asking a lot of you, to appreciate your body as it is right now. I realize that. We live in a culture that tells us the only way to have an acceptable body is to have a thin body. And you’ve been doing whatever you could over the years and decades to achieve that cultural expectation. Maybe you achieved it for a short time, but most likely you didn’t stay that size for long.

It’s not your fault either, contrary to what diet culture tells you. We all have a genetic blueprint of where our natural body size lies. Trying to change this is working against nature. The only thing that’s accomplished is creating a poor body image. This negative body image prevents you from living your life.

Is it easy to heal your body image? No!

Is it possible to heal your body image? Yes!

With the right support and guidance, you can heal. You are fully capable of cultivating a positive body image and learning how to handle difficult body image moments.

Join me and a small group of dedicated women who all want to heal their negative body image.

The Body Image Healing Program™ is a 12-week small group coaching program where you will:

  • Move from body hatred to body neutrality
  • Stop body bashing and body comparisons
  • Define your worth outside of your body
  • Learn how to navigate “bad body image moments” with self-compassion and kindness

To learn more and express your commitment – free interest, just click this LINK.

The investment for the program is now 50% off the regular investment to make it easier for you to get the support you need during the pandemic. The program begins April 20, 2020.

We all need support during this difficult time. Allow me to help you. Click HERE to learn more and express your commitment-free interest in The Body Image Healing Program™.

5 Mindful Living Tips to Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Food and Body

I’m really enjoying my focus of Mindful Living so far. I wrote about this intention for myself in last week’s blog…if you didn’t read it yet, click here.

I am making a concerted effort to be present in everything I do. Last Saturday night, my husband and I went out with some friends. I told my husband that I planned to NOT look at my phone the entire night so I can be present with my friends. I invited him to do the same. We had a great time, engaging in the conversation and laughing…A LOT! Laughter is so good for the soul, let me tell you. It was great.

I gave some thought as to what other areas I can be more mindful and I am sharing them with you in today’s blog. You may find these helpful for yourself on your journey towards a healthier relationship with food and body.

5 Mindful Living Tips

Tip #1. Be Present While Prepping Your Meals

In truth, when I am cooking, I am often listening to a podcast, talking on the phone or daydreaming. Very rarely am I engaging with the actual food prep. I’ve decided to change that. I’m practicing being fully present while chopping the veggies for the salad and hearing their crispness, stir-frying the onions and peppers and listening to the sizzle, and taking in the wonderful aroma of the simmering chili. All this awareness has increased the satisfaction of my meals.

Tip #2. Get More Quality Sleep

I find that doctors don’t talk enough about sleep, but sleep is critical to well-being. While the general recommendation is to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night, each person is individual and some need more or less. Sufficient sleep allows your body to rest and repair and be more attentive and productive the next day.

I’ve had some trouble sleeping lately and it’s really affected my energy level. My husband surprised me and bought me a weighted blanket. I had never really heard of them, and when I did some research, I found that weighted blankets are useful for a number of conditions, including difficulty sleeping.
It took me some time to get used to it, but I have to say that it has helped my sleep. It’s not only quantity of sleep (in other words how many hours you get) that’s important, but it’s also quality of sleep. This weighted blanket is allowing me a deeper, more peaceful sleep. I’ll keep you updated as to how this progresses for me.

Tip #3. Find a Physical Activity You Enjoy

Moving your body in a way that feels good for you is very important. If you exercise because you think you “should”, chances are you’re not really loving it and you’re going to burn out. For me, I love exercise and moving my body. But I have found over the years that the type of exercise I enjoy has changed.

As part of my mindful living intention, I’ve been staying fully present during my workout sessions. When my mind wanders (which is does!), I gently bring it back to the present moment. What I’m finding is that by being fully present in this manner, I am more tuned in to how I feel during and after the exercise.

Just today when I finished my workout at the gym, I thought to myself, “I really don’t enjoy the treadmill and elliptical anymore”. I generally mix up my workouts during the week…sometimes I take a class at the gym, sometimes I walk/run on the treadmill/elliptical and sometimes I work out at home using my DVDs. I used to really enjoy my time on the treadmill/elliptical because it was a time that I can catch up on my TV shows that I don’t get a chance to watch. But today, I realized that I don’t enjoy that anymore. My body feels so much better after I take a class, be it kickboxing, dance, weight training etc. I love moving to the music and the comradery of the other ladies in the class.

My new mindfulness practice has made me aware of this, and I will be making a change in how I move my body.

What about you? What feels right in your body?

Top #4. Experiment with Meditation

As much as I talk about the benefits of meditation, I’ve had trouble getting into a consistent practice. My initial vision of meditation years ago was sitting on a cushion, feet crossed , thumb and pointer finger pinched together – you get the idea. But I’ve since learned that there is no one way to mediate. Do what feels right for you.

I’ve used some apps such as Calm and Headspace, but nothing regularly. So I will be experimenting with using these apps more consistently, likely before I get under my weighted blanket in the evening.

Do you have any tips for meditation? Let me know in the comments please!

Tip #5. Put an End to Negative Body Talk

When we talk to ourselves, we can be our own worst critic, do you agree? Most often, when we are being harsh with ourselves, we say things that we would never think of saying to a friend.

Why is that okay? It’s not!

In my experience working with my clients, this negative talk comes up mostly around body shape and size. Thinking of your body in a negative, shameful manner causes damage to your self-esteem. Your body’s job is to keep you alive, and it works hard to do so.

What if you tried to treat yourself and your body with pure compassion and kindness? Pay yourself a compliment each day about your amazing characteristics that others love about you.

In my quest to live more mindfully, if I try on an outfit and don’t like the way it looks, I will pay attention to the words I say. It’s not my body that is the problem. This dress, pants, or outfit is just not cut for my body. Period, end of story.

There you have it. Five mindful living tips to help you cultivate a healthy relationship with food and body in this new year. Which will you join me in? Comment below?

 

Need help living your life more mindfully? Click HERE to schedule a complementary chat. Looking forward to connecting.

Another Look into My Intuitive Eating Journey

I know I’ve made the right decision to give up dieting! It was a tough decision, trust me! Having dieted for many years, the thought of not tracking my food anymore was frightening.

The Backstory

I didn’t think I was dieting, I truly didn’t. I just chose healthy, wholesome foods. I ate three meals per day, 1-2 snacks, I measured everything I ate, and I kept a log of all I consumed daily. And this kept me in a nice, slim body that I was proud of.

But you know what?

I wasn’t always eating the foods I wanted. There were many times when I wanted that pizza, mac and cheese, ice cream or cookie and I just did not allow myself to have it.

That’s when I knew I was dieting. While I wasn’t on any formally named diet, I had lots of rules for myself and would be upset if I broke a rule.

It was this moment when I realized this, that I decided to stop dieting in all it’s sneaky forms and really learn to embrace intuitive eating.

The Present

Through my journey back to intuitive eating, I was able to reclaim body trust. My journey wasn’t a straight path, as would be expected. Every twist and turn brought me a new lesson learned and personal growth.

I just returned from vacation. Actually, I took 2 vacations this summer and, on each vacation, my husband and I ate out every evening. During our hectic schedules all year, we rarely eat out. So, this was a special treat.

I didn’t fret about what would be on the menu. I was confident that if I arrived at the restaurant in a “just hungry” state, versus ravenous, I would give myself the space I needed to listen to what my body was telling me. As I looked over the menu, I had no expectations and no worries. I merely allowed my body to guide my choices as I read the menu options.

The Result

Being able to trust my body has allowed me to relax around food and to no longer worry how eating a food will affect my body or my weight. It has allowed me to enjoy a variety of eating experiences with family and friends and not be the “one” everyone always says “oh, look how “good” she is!”.

The Effects on my Body
It is not possible to know what will happen to your body when you embrace intuitive eating. The key is to allow your body to do whatever nature intends it to do. If you come into this journey having suppressed your weight for years through dieting, then it is possible that your body will bounce back and regain some weight to what is more in line with your genetic blueprint.

I know this might be a tough pill to swallow. I’ve been there. I’ve acknowledged that for years, I suppressed my weight through unconscious dieting. Through this journey, my body has returned to what is natural and healthy for me. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it, it’s my body and I’ve come to accept and respect it for all the hard work it does keeping me alive every day.

Want Support?

I’d love to help you accept and respect your body while reclaiming body trust through intuitive eating. If this sounds like something you would be interested in, book a free call with me and let’s chat.

Is Your Dieting Harming Your Daughter

Grace walked into my office with her mom by her side. Grace is a 9 year old adorable girl who has been restricting her food intake. She fears getting “fat”.  Due to her restriction, she has lost weight and is now off the bottom of growth chart.

 

I spoke with Grace and her mom for a while to get a bit of the family history and to understand when and how the restriction began. I then asked Grace’s mom to take a seat in the waiting room so I can talk with Grace alone. It was very important for me to build a good rapport with Grace so she will trust me.

 

Grace openly told me that she started restricting for several reasons. She broke it down as follows:

  • Her mom and sisters were dieting. They were speaking about foods that are good and bad, and were replacing foods they once ate, such as pizza, with alternatives such as cauliflower pizza. This made her feel like these foods wouldn’t be good for her either, so she stopped eating them.

 

  • Her friend’s moms were putting them on diets. Grace told me about at least 4 friends who bring only salad to school for lunch because they are on diets. Their moms told them they have to lose weight.

 

  • All the women in Grace’s life seem to hate their bodies. She’d constantly hear comments such as “do I look fat in this dress?”. “Is my butt sticking out of these pants?”. The message is clear. Fat is bad.

 

Grace wanted to be healthy, she really didn’t want to restrict her intake, but she was afraid of gaining weight. Grace started working with me each week to learn how to eat to nourish her body and to regain the trust in her body again.

 

You’re probably thinking that Grace is so young to be dealing with these fears around food and body. Perhaps as a teenager it would seem more common. But more and more young girls are falling into disordered eating patterns and being diagnosed with eating disorders than ever before.

 

The reason?

 

The diet culture that we live in today! The messages that women and young girls receive is that their bodies are not good enough the way they are. They must mold and sculpt them into a thin, model-like figure to have any worth in this world. It is so sad to me that so many women spend so much of their days worrying about what they are eating and how they look to others. And this worry is being passed down to the younger generation.

 

Do you have a daughter(s)?

 

Are you aware that the way you speak to yourself about your body is influencing the way she feels about hers?

 

Are you aware that she watches every move you make when you eat and when you choose to avoid grains/carbs with dinner?

 

I know for me, when I was dieting and restricting, the messages were loud and clear to my two daughters. They knew that I wouldn’t eat dinner until I calculated how much I’d eaten throughout the day. That would determine how much and what I ate for dinner. What kind of messages was I sending to them? It was a very loud message that I couldn’t trust my body to guide my eating. I had to trust a calculator.

 

I was able to break free of this restriction and teach my daughters that their bodies are smart and has all the wisdom housed inside as to what, when and how much to eat. It’s a matter of listening and trusting.

 

Here are 3 things to do right now if you want your daughter(s) to have a future of food peace and body love:

 

1. Stop restricting. Even if you think you are not restricting, you probably are. The diet mentality is very sneaky and shows up in ways you wouldn’t imagine. Be honest with yourself. Are you substituting zoodles for pasta? Are you choosing cauliflower pizza for regular pizza? Are you ordering 2 veggies instead of a potato and veggie at the restaurant? If yes to any of these questions, then you are restricting.

 

2. Watch your language. Be very careful how you speak in the home, especially when your daughter is around. Do not be judgmental of food, such as this is a “good” food and this is a “bad” food. Putting labels on food demonizes food and ups the fear of eating those foods.

 

3. Stop body checking. When you are getting dressed and looking in the mirror, be aware of your comments about yourself and your body. And, be aware of your non-verbal behaviors as well. Looking in the mirror and wincing or grunting are all heard and seen by your daughter. Instead of instilling hatred for your body or body parts, teach what it means to have respect for your body.

 

The truth is, I recognize that this is all easier said than done. It takes time, patience and fighting back against the messages you hear every day. But if you want to save your daughter(s) from going down the rabbit hole of dieting, food fear and body worry, then now’s the time.

 

Do you want a brighter future for your daughter? It all starts with you. Book a call with me www.TalkWithBonnie.com.

 

 

3 Steps to Stop the Body Comparison Game

As I sat to write this week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday blog post, I paused to think about what was on my mind. I tend to pick a blog topic by considering what’s going on around me in relation to food, body image, or questions I get from clients or prospective clients.

 

Today I want to address body comparison. This is when you compare your body to other people’s bodies, and it starts to make you feel bad about your own body. This in turn leads you to start another diet as your desire to be “thin” overcomes you. Yet, the restriction brought on by the diet causes you to feel deprived of your favorite foods which ultimately leads to overeating/binge eating. Then the cycle starts again.

 

I think it’s understandable to a certain extent that you compare your body to other women’s bodies. This is a side effect of the diet culture we live in. Especially now that the summer is quickly approaching, you can’t go far without seeing an advertisement with a bikini clad female or commercial for a diet to get you in beach body shape, quickly! And now that the weather is nice, people are out in skimpy outfits only to add to the pressure you put on yourself (“I need to do something, now!”)

 

Enough is enough. I know you don’t want to continue to put this pressure on yourself. It takes up your brain space and prevents you from enjoying each day to the fullest.

 

Here are 3 steps to stop the body comparisons!

1)Just stop! Promise yourself that you will no longer compare your body to other women’s bodies. Think about the fact that you have no idea how she got the thin body she has. Perhaps she’s on a quick-fix diet and is miserable inside. Perhaps she’s suffering from a medical condition (or mental health condition) and weight loss is a side effect. It’s a dangerous game to wish for what other people have, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

I know of a situation where a woman was complemented for her weight loss and was asked how she did it. The answer? “Anorexia”. Enough said.

 

2)Praise and thank your body every day! Your body is miraculous. I think people take for granted all the amazing things your body does to keep you alive, keep you moving from place to place, and being able to see the world around you.

 

I can tell you firsthand this is true. If you’ve been following me for some time, you probably know that I had eye surgery last year. This was a bit traumatic for me on many levels. But one of the most eye opening (no pun intended) experiences for me was during recovery after the surgery. My vision wasn’t the same, my eyes needed time to heal. I couldn’t see clearly, it was hard to read, hard to see my computer, hard to do everyday things and of course I couldn’t drive. It was then that it hit me how we take for granted things that our bodies do for us on a daily basis.

 

So please, give praise and thanks to your body every day, from the top of your head to your tippy toes.

 

3)Dress for the body you have now! I cannot stress this enough. If you are wearing clothes that are tight on you, you will be uncomfortable and feel upset, sad and hopeless. That’s when body comparisons happen the most. Take yourself shopping and buy clothes that you love that fit you. Who cares what size the label says? Those aren’t accurate anyway, and mean zilch! When you dress in clothes that feel good, you feel awesome and powerful and can accomplish anything!

 

Without a doubt in my mind, body comparisons will hinder your intuitive eating journey! Let’s stop this now so you can keep moving forward.

 

If you are still dieting but just don’t know how to stop, pop your name and email in the boxes below to start your free Break the Spell of Diets in 3 Days experience.

 

 

3 Tips to Overcome the Fear of Weight Gain

One of the biggest obstacles I see for women who want to start the intuitive eating journey is a fear of weight gain. And I get this! It makes sense that you are so afraid of gaining weight because that’s the message you’ve been getting for many years.

 

When you were younger, you were told by your mom or dad “you have to eat healthy”, “you should lose weight”, “you have such a pretty face, if only you’d lose weight”.

 

You were told by your pediatrician “your BMI is too high”, “lose weight”.

 

You were laughed at by your peers, discriminated against on the job interview, made to feel uncomfortable on an airplane flight…

 

I can go on and on.

 

Being thin is what most women strive for as this is made to be an elevated status. But how much of your life will you spend chasing this “thin ideal”? What have you missed out on because you were uncomfortable in your skin? Because you don’t think you’re good enough the way you are? Because you feel judged by society?

 

I want you to live the life you were meant to live. Not live a life fearing food and fearing weight gain.

 

3 Tips to Overcome the Fear of Weight Gain:

 

1.Realize that embracing intuitive eating does not mean giving up. Learning to be an intuitive eater means returning to the way you were born, trusting and loving your body and being in awe of every part of it from your fingers to your toes, just like when you were a baby! Remember those days? Now, fill in the blank below to start appreciating your body again.

My body is amazing because_________________________.

 

2.Understand that only your body knows what size it is destined to be. Your doctor doesn’t know, the BMI charts don’t know, I don’t know, and you don’t even know. Allow your body to do what it feels best doing once you give up dieting and restriction. Trust that your body is brilliant and given the space, will arrive at a comfortable place.

 

3.Show your body respect and take good care of it. No matter your size, your body deserves to be respected. How? Here are some ideas: pamper your body with after shower scented lotions, enjoy gentle massage, wear comfortable clothes that you love, get enough sleep, talk nicely to your body and thank your body for all it does each night before you go to bed. Believe it or not, these are self-care activities that will help your body feel great!

 

I don’t want to undermine your feelings and fear of weight gain. But holding on to that fear will only keep you in the viscous cycle of dieting. Let’s bust through the fear together…you can do it!

 

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