mindfulness Archives - Diet Free Radiant Me | Intuitive Eating | Emotional Eating

I’ve Tried Intuitive Eating, and It Didn’t Work

Something I hear quite often is “Bonnie, I’ve tried Intuitive Eating before and it didn’t work for me.”

I’m wondering if this is something you’ve said before or think now. You gave it a go but didn’t end up finding peace with food and your body.

You realize that you were born an Intuitive Eater, and you wonder why you still can’t find food freedom. You feel stuck.

I bet that you love the concept of Intuitive Eating and even wonder why you haven’t heard about it before you did. It’s the best kept secret! But you just wish that it would “work” for you!

If you’ve tried Intuitive Eating and you are thinking that it just didn’t work, maybe you are facing some common roadblocks.

3 Common Roadblocks

There are a few common reasons why your past experience with Intuitive Eating just didn’t work.

You were focused on weight loss and caught up in diet culture.
You are not giving yourself full unconditional permission to eat the foods you enjoy.
You aren’t truly focusing on Intuitive Eating.

Stuck on Weight Loss and Caught Up in Diet Culture

I get it. You’ve been focused on the scale for 5, 10, 20, maybe even 40 or more years. It’s not your fault. It’s the message that surrounds us all day, every day.

The struggle with weight loss and constantly being obsessed with the scale is a difficult one to shake. Diet culture tells you that to be worthy, you need to be “skinny”.

Here’s some questions to ponder:

What brought me to Intuitive Eating in the first place?
What do I fear about weight gain?
What are my fears of weight gain based on?
What does weight loss/gain mean to me?
If others did not make comments or care about my weight, how would I feel about my body?

Bonus Tip: Set a daily reminder and ask yourself “is my mind on weight today and how is it impacting my food choices.”

Afraid to Give Unconditional Permission to Eat

Before you began your Intuitive Eating journey, more than likely you’ve had foods that you considered “forbidden”. You might still be feeling anxious around certain foods and having a hard time letting go of food labels and eating these foods.

Again, it’s understandable, so be gentle with yourself through the process.

Here’s some questions to ponder:

Are you allowing yourself to eat the foods you want?
Who are you with when you are eating? Are you afraid of judgement?
Are you eating the food, but have guilt?

You’re Not Focused on Intuitive Eating

You began this journey to ultimately become an Intuitive Eater however, you’re just not focused on the journey. It all sounds great, the idea of having peace with food and total food freedom. But you aren’t really doing the work.

Truth is, it’s not an easy journey. I will never tell a client that it’s easy to recover from dieting and diet culture. But the work you put in now will pay off later.

Bonus tip: Put the same effort into healing from dieting that you’ve put into your dieting years.

Which roadblock are you bumping into? Let me know in the comments below.

Resource: Here’s a resource for you to begin your Intuitive Eating journey with a step-by-step approach.

3 Tips to Leaving the Clean the Plate Club Behind

Picture this, you’re sitting at the dinner table with your whole family after spending the last hour cooking a meal. The meal has just started; however, you have only taken a few bites and you are already starting to feel full. You look around the table and everyone else is still eagerly digging into their food. You put your fork down and realize you are already at the point of comfortable fullness. You begin to feel a little guilty about spending all that time cooking to only eat a few forkfuls of the meal, so you continue you eat until you reach uncomfortable fullness.

Or, you are enjoying your meal, you get to a point of feeling comfortable, but you don’t want to leave any food over because you believe it’s wrong to waste food and/or money.

Many people have experienced that guilt or peer pressure that makes them clean their plate. As a child you might have heard the familiar line, “Clean your plate, there are children that are starving.” This mindset can lead to overeating and ultimately leave you feeling unwell and still guilty, for a different reason.

This mindset of “clean plate club” directly goes against the Intuitive Eating journey. You are ignoring your natural hunger and fullness cues. While in the scenario above, the person tried to tune into their fullness cues, they ultimately ignored them to clean their plate.

There are some tips and tricks that you can try to leave the clean plate club behind. Here are my top 3:

1. Eat Slowly

Slow down the pace of your eating so you can achieve pleasure in every bite. Try not to rush through your meal, instead savor the food in front of you. When you have full satisfaction, it’s easier to stop when you sense you have had enough. Put your fork down between bites to allow yourself the time to check in with your hunger and fullness cues.

2. Consider Leftovers

Promise yourself that you will pack up whatever you leave over (even if it’s a small amount) so you can eat it tomorrow. You will then enjoy this wonderful meal again. Sometimes leftovers can be just as good, if not better, than the original meal. You can even try reworking your leftovers into a completely new meal, get creative in the kitchen.

3.Reflect on your meal.

Once you have completed your meal, take some time to reflect. Did you reach a level of comfortable fullness? Did you pass the level of comfortable fullness and now feel uncomfortable? Asking these questions will surely help you respect your fullness regardless if there’s food left on the plate or not.

Say no to the clean plate club and instead focus inward on how you are feeling. There are so many reasons to honor your fullness and your Intuitive Eating journey.

Want to learn all about the origin of the “clean the plate club”? It’s actually fascinating. Join me today at 12:15 pm EST for a live training HERE or HERE

Practicing Intuitive Eating in Warmer Weather

I don’t know about you, but when the warm weather hits, my desire for food changes. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to eat, but the type of foods my body asks for, and the amounts do change.

My appetite tends to decrease during the summer months, and I choose lighter meals and find that I snack less. On the other hand, during the winter months, I find myself choosing heartier meals that fill me up for longer.

What about you? Have you noticed this too?

The Science Behind it

The reasons behind the changes in your eating patterns during certain times of the year has to do with science.

Appetite has been found to be closely related to climate change. Our meals are connected to the changes in the weather. Research shows that people tend to eat “lighter” or “cooler” foods when it’s hot. Think ice cream, ices, salads, and fresh fruit.

The concept of thermoregulation explains these eating changes.

What is Thermoregulation?

Thermoregulation is the ability to keep your body temperature within certain boundaries, even when the surrounding temperature is quite different.

Simply stated, thermoregulation is the natural maintenance of your body temperature.

Your internal body temperature is regulated by a part of your brain called the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus monitors your body temperature and compares it with a normal temperature of about 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. If your temperature is too low, the hypothalamus makes sure that your body generates and maintains heat.

One way it does this is by eating. As you eat, your body provides energy and as a result, produces heat as way to regulate your body’s internal temperature.

As the weather gets warmer, your body wants to stay cool. So, in the summer months, you may find that your appetite tends to be reduced, especially when you’re feeling hot. This is your body trying to regulate your body temperature by cutting down on heat-generating functions like the digestion of food.

When the weather is hot, the difference between your body temperature and the outside temperature is less, meaning less energy is required to maintain optimal body temperature.

On the flip side, in the winter when it’s cold outside, your body has to work harder to stay at 98.6°F so you eat more food in the winter to help fuel that process.

Eating Intuitively During the Summer Months

With less of an appetite and perhaps skipped meals, you may wonder if you are still honoring your Intuitive Eating practice if you eat less.

Here are some tips to eating intuitively during the summer:

Identify What You Really Want to Eat

There are no “should’s” in Intuitive Eating. Don’t prepare a meal that you think you “should” be eating but don’t really want. And just because someone else prepared a meal for you doesn’t mean you have to eat it. Asking yourself what you really want to eat is key to having satisfaction with your meals.

Eat With Awareness

Not only do you want to eat with intention, you want to eat with attention. Stay present and fully aware of what and how much you are eating. If you are eating outdoors, your internal body temperature might rise and it may affect your appetite, so pay attention if you are continuing to eat just because the food is there and you don’t want to waste it.

Nourish as Part of Self-Care

When you are hot and your appetite is affected, it may be easy to forget to eat. In these situations, it might be helpful to eat every 3-4 hours to nourish yourself as it might be more challenging to detect your hunger signals.

Bottom line:

A decreased appetite in the summer is “normal”.
If you have a hard time detecting hunger signals, try to eat every 3-4 hours as part of your nourishment self-care plan. Choose to eat in a cool environment versus in the hot sun.
Your appetite may not be affected at all, and that’s okay too!

3 Truths About What Happens When You Stop Dieting

Are you thinking about giving up dieting, but you don’t know what to expect when you make this life-changing decision?

Have you already made the decision to stop dieting, but you’re not so confident in this decision?

It makes sense! You’ve been on the diet roller coaster for a LONG time. It feels weird not to be following a set of food rules, even though deep down you know they’ve never worked. But what happens once you give up the food rules?

Let’s look at what your thoughts and fears might be. Then, let’s tackle what you really need to know.

Typical Thoughts When You Give Up Dieting

It’s common to have some uncomfortable thoughts and fears when you think of no longer dieting. Here are some common thoughts:

“I will gain weight!”
“I will eat out of control!”
“I won’t know what to eat.”
“What do I do without rules?”
“What if it doesn’t work for me?”

It’s important to be realistic in your expectations when you decide to not diet and to begin your journey towards Intuitive Eating.

What You Need to Know

1. You will want food all the time – and that’s normal!

When you first decide to get off the diet roller coaster and you begin throwing away your food rules, you will want to eat all those foods that were forbidden. And you will want to eat them a lot, and often. This happens because for months, years or even decades you’ve been restricting these foods. So, this reaction is totally “normal”.

Your mind and body are sort of saying “hey, what’s up?” It’s not used to you eating these foods, and it’s thinking “I’m never going to get these foods again! I better stock up while I can because these won’t be around forever!”

This will continue to happen as you continue to test the process of Intuitive Eating. “Can I really eat what I want?”

Yes you can.

2. It is a long process.

Please have realistic expectations. You cannot expect your body to adapt to giving up dieting and shifting to Intuitive Eating overnight. The communication between your mind and body has been suppressed for quite a while. Hunger, fullness, and satisfaction have been ignored—so you must rebuild this communication!

You might be feeling that it’s difficult to stay motivated and invested in the journey, especially if progress isn’t immediate. But that’s your diet mentality speaking. You are programmed to want immediate results but it’s important to build your patience muscle as you work on changing your relationship with food for the rest of your life.

Focus on the long game!

3. No two journeys are the same.

Working at your own pace is totally okay.

As a dieter, you likely have an “all or nothing” mentality—”going all in with something full force, or not doing it at all”. Having this mentality can hold you back.

Instead of diving headfirst, trying to rush the process and being “good”, take one step that you feel confident in and let it be that—just a first step. Once you feel ready, take another step forward and so on.

Take the journey at your own pace, be true to yourself. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s journey because you don’t know their story!

There is no race to any finish line! Intuitive Eating is a practice. It’s not something that ends when you get to a goal.

Want to know more about the 3 phases you will go through when you stop dieting?

Join me today for a LIVE training on this topic, right in my Facebook Group.

“But You Have to Lose Weight…”

Emily logged onto Zoom for her appointment with me and shared the following:

“I told my mom and best friend that I’ve decided not to diet anymore. They had a shocked look on their faces and said, “but you have to lose weight.”

Have you experienced this too?

You are probably reading my blog because you know that diets have never worked for you and will never! You’ve been searching for a way out of the dieting quicksand, and you think you’ve found it with Intuitive Eating. But you are struggling because no one around you has seen the light like you have.

It’s incredibly challenging when your inner circle is dieting and thinks you should be too. That’s why it’s so important to be a part of a strong community of women who are on the same journey as you are of leaving dieting behind.

3 Ways a Community Can Help

(1) It provides a safe and secure environment where you can share experiences, seek support when necessary, and ask questions, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

(2) It provides an opportunity to connect with others. Each person in the community is striving and growing toward a common goal

(3) It keeps you motivated and accountable. With everyone in the community working toward the same common goal (breaking free of dieting and becoming an Intuitive Eater), it’s easier to stay accountable and motivated because others around you are doing the same! Everyone in the community has similar thoughts, beliefs and values around dieting and diet culture. It helps to know that you are not alone!

Giving Up Dieting is a Foreign Concept

The dominant paradigm in “weight management” or “weight loss” is to eat less and exercise more.

You now know that this is a very flawed paradigm, yet many people are trapped in outdated beliefs despite all the evidence that restriction and dieting are not moving the majority of people toward healthier, happier and more vibrant lives.

Yet, health professionals, physicians, family, friends and more all fuel the “weight loss” or “dieting” paradigm with biased and incorrect information, which allows the beliefs of the paradigm to continue.

Join me for a LIVE training today what you need to make the paradigm shift happen for you.

It’s all happening in my Intuitive Eating for a Diet Free Life Private Facebook Group. If you’re not a member yet, click here to join (it’s free!).

The Truth About Weight Loss that you NEED to Know

Fear of weight gain is one of the biggest obstacles people face when they are deciding whether to begin their intuitive eating journey. And I understand this fear!

If you’ve been dieting for years working hard to lose weight to achieve a body shape and size that you’ve wanted for so long, the idea of NOT dieting anymore is very scary.

I uncover the truth about weight loss in this episode of the Diet Free Zone Show.

If you haven’t yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, you can subscribe HERE. New shows coming!

And if you have a suggestion for a topic, just comment below and I will add it to the show content roster.

When Others Judge Your Body

Healing your negative body image is an important part of your journey towards WholeBody Trust™. And, contrary to popular belief, this piece doesn’t have to wait until the last leg of your journey. This is a common misconception by many.

“I’ve made peace with food, now I have to work on my body image.” is something I hear often. And, to be totally honest, that’s what I initially thought as well. But as I myself dove into learning how to heal my own body image and learned how to guide others, it became more apparent that healing your relationship with food and your body go hand-in-hand.

Your negative body image didn’t happen overnight. And while I’m not going to go into detail here about how to heal your body image, I will say that there are a lot of facets to how your body image developed (more on this in my Body Image Healing Course, free to you when you join Intuitive Eating Mastery Circle).

Let me tell you about Amanda (name changed to protect the privacy of my client). Amanda came to me for help after many decades of yo-yo dieting. She was fed up with losing and gaining weight, ultimately ending up weighing more than when she started her dieting career. She knew dieting wasn’t the answer, but she was still afraid to give it up.

Amanda took a leap of faith and we began working on intuitive eating, a self-care framework for eating and nourishing the body that includes 10 principles. As we worked through my 5 step process and the intuitive eating principles, one theme kept coming up – her negative body image.

Amanda spend so much time over the years hating on her body, that she was having a difficult time accepting that she may not lose weight. She worked hard on really appreciating and respecting her body for all it does for her daily to keep her alive, and this helped her tremendously. But there was one thing that was still a big issue, and this was her perception that others are judging her for being in a larger body.

Can you relate to this? You are starting to feel okay with where your body has landed on this journey, but you still worry what others will think of you?

Truth be told, we don’t know if others are thinking or saying anything about your body. We cannot control other people’s thoughts but what we CAN control are our own, and how we care for our body.

Amanda worked hard on taking the best care of her body as she could, and that included nourishing it regularly, engaging in gentle movement and exercises that felt good in her body, getting enough sleep each night and managing her stress levels. She bought some new stylish clothes that fit comfortably and she started getting out more with friends, laughing, and living her life without a focus on her body.

And you know what she found?

Amanda realized that she has so many blessings in her life with good health, wonderful family and amazing friends. She no longer wanted to waste hours upon hours worrying if others were judging her body. Once she made this commitment to herself, her confidence started to increase, and she no longer cared what others might think or say about her body.

We live in a culture where we are surrounded daily with messages that we need to shrink our bodies and while I hope that this will change in the very near future, the fact remains that we need to be okay with who we are no matter what others think.

Now, this might mean taking some steps to change your habits and behaviors and that’s okay! You deserve to take the time and make the investment in yourself so you can live your best healthy life.

And as far as other people judging you/your body? As you work towards healing your negative body image and cultivating a positive body image using self compassion and mindfulness strategies (among others), you will come to feel better in your body and love all of yourself without regard to anyone else. And, this will show as you carry yourself through the world.

If I can support you in any way to come to this place of peace with food and your body, please reach out to me here or email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com. It’s my mission in life to help women (and men) such as you!

How to NOT Eat Your Frustration

Frustration. That is the emotion that I’ve been feeling this week. Here’s why:

The Set-Up

I decided to change the hosting of all my websites and domains that I use to run my business. I chose a very large hosting company and was feeling confident that all would go smoothly, at least that’s what they promised. However, after 1 ½ months of back and forth phone calls, the migration of my websites was still not complete. I asked for a refund and went on the search for another hosting company.

I found another company who seemed eager to help me. I signed up with them and followed their directions to migrate my sites. After many back and forth phone calls, we were getting somewhere. However, I’ve come to learn that there is always going to be a glitch. And, what’s important is how I handle that glitch.

Among the many glitches was that a client was not able to access her training modules for a few hours. Okay, not so terrible, I actually figured out how to fix that myself (pat on my back!). But for the few minutes, I was terribly frustrated.

Now that all the sites are transferred over successfully, it was time to migrate my Outlook email. This proved to be more difficult. I’m the first to admit that computer and tech language for me is a foreign language. You might as well be speaking to me in Greek, Chinese, or any language other than English. I don’t get it.

So, at the time I’m writing this blog post, I have been without email for 36 hours and counting. This means that if you’ve tried to email me, I likely didn’t get it. So, please email me again!

(Note – if you are reading this blog in your email, it’s because you received it through iContact, my email management system, which is totally separate from my Outlook email – am I confusing you now??)

What’s my point of sharing this all with you?

Coping with Frustration

Just a few years ago when I felt frustrated, I would let it get the best of me. Perhaps I’d have a pity party, you know, the ones that include ice cream.

But today, things are different.

I reframe what is going on. I put things in perspective. I think to myself “how does this affect the real important things in my life, such as my husband and kids, my parents, my health and their health”?

Throughout this pause, I breath deeply. This breath work takes me from stress mode (fight or flight) into calming rest mode! And, it helps me process and make the best decisions to take care of myself in the frustrating situation I find myself in.

There is no ice cream. There is no chocolate. There is no pity party.

There is nothing wrong with ice cream or chocolate. But in a moment of frustration, that’s not what I need to take the best care of ME.

Your Turn

How do you handle frustration? Or any emotion for that matter? Comment below!

And, if you want to learn strategies to stress less and eat less, then check this SPECIAL out that I have for you, only during the month of April, which is Stress Awareness Month.

What’s for Dinner?

How do you decide what to eat for dinner (or any meal)?

It seems like a simple question, but for the chronic dieter who has lost all trust in their body and ability to make food decisions, this is actually a very difficult question that is faced with anguish.

There’s the food that you think you “should” eat, and the food that you really want to eat. You have 2 voices in your head. Voice #1 – “Eat this, you know you should, it’s what your diet prescribes, it’ll help you lose weight”. Voice #2 – “No, choose this because you know it’s really what you want. You haven’t eaten this in ages.”

Either decision you make creates a negative feeling around food. If you follow voice #1 and eat what the diet tells you to eat, you have minimal to zero satisfaction when you are done. The entire time you are eating, you are thinking about the pizza you could have been eating. Your belly may be full, but your mind is not satisfied. You now look around the kitchen, open all the cabinets for something just to “finish off the meal”. You are searching for something to fill your psychological void. You are not happy.

However, if you follow voice #2 and eat the pizza, you fall into the diet mentality trap of “I messed up, I shouldn’t have eaten the pizza. Okay, I’ll just have one more piece and I promise I won’t eat it again for a long time.” You end up eating several slices, feel physically uncomfortable and emotionally guilty, full of shame, disappointment in yourself and disgust. You did it again. In the end, you didn’t derive the satisfaction you were looking for because the physical and emotional distress took over.

What’s the answer to this dilemma?

Pausing long enough to remind yourself that you are learning to give yourself unconditional permission to eat when you are hungry. This means all foods are available to you. Once you take the “should’s” and “shouldn’ts” off your food, you will realize that you can eat the foods you love without the worry of overeating.

This takes time, especially if you’ve been dieting for decades. But you have to start somewhere, so why not start today, with this very meal.

What is one food or meal that you would LOVE to eat for dinner tonight but would never dream of allowing yourself to have?

Go out and buy that food or make it for yourself for dinner tonight. Sit down without distraction and savor every bite knowing that eating this food now does not mean you could never eat it again. It means that you could eat it now, later, tomorrow, next week…whenever you want it. Just knowing this will help you stop when you are comfortably full.

Stuffed Potato Skins, Spinach Parmesan Lasagna, Pita Pizza, Fettuccini with Vegetables, Peanut Butter Bran Muffins, Double Chocolate Chews, Cinnamon Coffee Cake…

these are just a few of the recipes in my new book: Enjoying Food Peace: Recipes and Intuitive Eating Wisdom to Nourish Your Body and Mind.

Start to eat what you love without a side of guilt!

Get your copy today on AMAZON!

Or, get a SIGNED COPY directly from me HERE!

6 Tips to a Mindful Holiday Season

The holiday season is a joyous time, but it can also be a very stressful time. Your celebrations likely include hosting friends and family, which means lots of planning, cooking, cleaning and entertaining. This stress can start to affect how well you listen to your body – which is why it’s extra important this time of the year to take care of yourself.

Taking Care of YOU

When it comes to taking care of yourself, start with what your body needs.

Is it an extra 20 minutes of sleep? Or, making time for yourself to exercise, read a book, or take a bath?

Whatever it is that helps you to remain relaxed and calm, make the time each day to do it! Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks or ask family and friends to help. Your physical and mental health is just as important as everyone else’s!

The Day of the Dinner Party

You got this! You’ve worked hard to take care of your own needs in the early weeks of December. But now that the big day is here, and your company will be ringing your bell, (or you’re ringing their bell), do you push your needs to the side?

Along with taking care of yourself leading up to the holidays, it’s also important to take the steps you need to on the day of the dinner party to ensure you are honoring and respecting your body’s needs.

6 Tips to Help You Stay Mindful During the Party

Plan ahead. It’s important to plan ahead so you can enjoy your favorite foods without guilt. The day before the big dinner party, plan out what you will eat for breakfast and lunch that day. It’s important to stay nourished so you don’t arrive at the dinner party too hungry!
Focus on friends and family. The holidays are all about spending time with your family and friends (I know you know this, but it can be challenging to remember this when you are not at peace with food). Give thought to something special that you love about each guest, and be sure to tell them how you feel. Put the focus on them, not the food.
Savor your food. Focus on each bite of food that you put into your mouth. Experience the taste, texture, flavors and aroma of the food. Do you like it, dislike it, or it’s just okay? If you aren’t fully satisfied with it, don’t finish it.
Sit down at the table. Eating while standing around the buffet table or while walking around will decrease your attention and satisfaction with your meal. Instead, plan to sit while eating. Fill your plate with food and find a table to sit. Friends and family will likely join you and you can enjoy nice conversation while being more mindful of your eating.
Listen to your body. It’s important for you to take the time to listen to your body’s inner signals as you are getting satiated. Stop eating when you feel comfortable, you can always wrap up the rest for another time. This will help you enjoy the homemade pie without guilt.
Indulge in your favorites. Don’t avoid your favorites that come around once a year. Avoidance can lead to caving in and then to overeating. It’s much better to eat a small portion of something you really want than to give it up entirely. Choose those foods that you don’t typically have year-round. Take a portion and enjoy without guilt.

If you’re looking for more help to ensure you have a stress-free holiday season, look no further than right here!

December 1^st marked the month-long Holiday Special of my Stress Less, Eat Less – Holiday Edition Program. This program is designed to help you develop personalized strategies specific to your situation to help you beat holiday stress eating.

In this program, you can go at your own pace. I will walk you through the 3 simple steps to developing a calm mindset and learning the strategies you need that will help you stop stress eating in its tracks.

Click the link here to read more about the program and sign up today! You can also reach out to me here if you have any questions.

Here’s to a stress-free holiday season!

Tag Archive for: mindfulness