Tag Archive for: food fear

Intuitive Eating and Weight Gain—How Do I Handle This?

You’ve given up dieting for good, you’re ready to make peace with food and have embarked on a new, exciting journey with Intuitive Eating—sounds pretty good right?

Of course, it does! But with any new journey there are realities we must accept—one of those being “yes, it’s true. You may gain weight when you start practicing Intuitive Eating!”

But how can you learn to be okay with this new reality after struggling with food and trusting your body?

Let’s start with the WHY

Why does weight gain even happen to some people when embarking on an Intuitive Eating journey?

First, it’s important to mention that when beginning any kind of journey, you never know how your body is going to react. Each person comes into this journey at different points.

For example: some may come from a place of food restriction and an eating disorder, some as a chronic yo-yo dieter, and others from years of being stuck in a binge-restrict cycle.

Therefore, given each of those examples—the body is going to react completely different when you begin to listen to it and provide it what it needs!

If you’ve been suppressing your weight through restriction, it actually makes total sense that once you begin to lift the restrictions and learn to listen to your body, that you might gain weight simply by eating enough food to meet your body’s needs.

This idea of weight gain and Intuitive Eating also revolves around the concept of “set point weight theory”, defined as “the weight your body wishes to be at in order to function and be at its best”.

Therefore, when embarking on this journey, weight gain may occur because it’s what your body WANTS and NEEDS to do in order to be at its best for YOU.

This requires trust in yourself and your body, which is something that can be difficult to do when you are new to Intuitive Eating. But it IS possible to regain this trust.

Another important point to make is that if you’ve been chronically dieting with a long list of “can’t have” foods, once you begin allowing these foods back into your eating world, you may overdo it for a while, eating beyond comfortable fullness. This may cause some temporary weight gain. But as you normalize your eating of these foods, your weight will normalize too.

Navigating the Fear

In order to be at peace with allowing your body to do what it needs to do to ultimately regain its trust, here are a few things to keep in mind:

(1) There’s nothing wrong with weight.

A practice within Intuitive Eating is to neutralize all foods—let go of the “good” and “bad” labels you place on food. The same concept applies to weight gain—it’s time to neutralize, or destigmatize, the idea that weight gain is a “bad thing”.

This can be hard to accept because of the toxic diet culture messages we’ve heard for many, many years— “gaining weight is unhealthy”, “if you gain weight, you have no self-control”, etc.

Whatever weight your body ends up at, whether it’s less, more or remains the same, that is the weight your body feels safest and best.

If weight gain happens, take a moment to embrace it and reflect on if it’s a sign that you were previously NOT caring for yourself in the way your body needs to be.

(2) Turn away (and off) the diet culture messages.

Diet culture is unfortunately all around us—on television, in the news, on social media, and even within our own environment (family, friends, workplace).

It’s time to remove those toxic diet culture messages from your mental and physical space. It can be hard to do but take some time to reflect on how years of dieting and restriction has negatively impacted your life, your relationship with others, your relationship with food and your body, etc.

Start by:

  • Unfollowing social media accounts that promote diet culture and instead following body positive accounts
  • Throwing away your scale, or other weight loss tools (measuring tapes, etc.)
  • Removing yourself from conversation that revolves around weight loss, restriction, or anything that negatively impacts how you feel about yourself.

(3) Shift your focus.

Instead of focusing on the fact that weight gain is, or may be, a possibility, think about what else you are gaining by practicing Intuitive Eating consistently.

For example…

  • Peace with food and food freedom
  • No longer letting food and food decisions control your life
  • A positive relationship with food
  • Better sleep, mood, and outlook on life
  • A better social life with more spontaneous plans
  • More energy
  • A positive community and support system

Shift your focus to highlight the wins or little victories that you are gaining from practicing Intuitive Eating.

(4) Practice self-compassion.

Self-compassion is another important part of Intuitive Eating. Practice self-compassion by approaching weight gain in a new way:

  • Choose to support and care for your here and now body
  • Nourish yourself consistently
  • Dress and wear clothes that are meant for your current body
  • Provide yourself with adequate rest
  • Remind yourself of the long term, overarching reason you’ve adopted this new way of living and eating

Get the tools and strategies to redefine your self-worth away from your body weight or number. And, join a community of women who have started their Intuitive Eating journey! Want to find out how?

 

YES, Bonnie, show me how!

 

 

How to Free Yourself from Food Fear

If you’re like me, the last few months have been filled with anxiety regarding the uncertainty of the pandemic. It seems like every day the news is reporting something more unnerving than the day before. With everything going on in the world, you are likely experiencing a lot of stress.

You’re not going to be able to control all of the stressors in your life, however you can take charge of some of them. Weight loss companies are aware of how stressed and anxious you are and use this to fuel your insecurities. You may have been hearing more weight loss advertisements on the radio and television lately.

Try not to let these companies take up any headspace, they are just added stress to your life. Instead, think about how wonderful your body has been over the past few months, it has helped you survive a global pandemic. Your body deserves to be celebrated!

Celebrating Your Body through Building Trust

I was thinking about ways you could celebrate your body, and I thought National Macaroni Day would be the perfect time to show your body that you DO trust it. You may not have realized it, but yesterday we celebrated this Macaroni-shaped pasta.

Let’s face it. If you’ve dieted, then more than likely you realize that pasta has been demonized as an “unhealthy” food because it’s a high carbohydrate food. This is unfortunate because you need carbohydrate, it’s the main energy source for your body. And because pasta is delicious!

Macaroni, and other pastas, are chock full of fiber, especially whole-grain varieties. Getting sufficient dietary fiber in your meals throughout the day is an act of self-care!

Fiber keeps your bowel movements regular and helps with satiety. It keeps you fuller for longer, so you aren’t rummaging through the cabinets searching for food throughout the day.

Demonizing Foods

The definition of “demonizing” is to portray as wicked and threatening.

Before I started teaching intuitive eating, it had not occurred to me that there were foods that were being demonized by the diet industry. But as I got knee deep into learning about diet culture and its sneaky ways, I came to find out that there’s a long list of foods that people are afraid to eat.

Yes, afraid! People have a ton of food fear!

“Oh no, I can’t eat _____ (fill in the blank). It’s bad for me.”
“I’m scared to eat _____ (fill in the blank), I will gain weight.”
“I’d love to eat _____ (fill in the blank), but I won’t fit into my pants tomorrow.”

Most of this fear is around weight gain. Yes, sometimes it’s about health. But often even that is under the guise of weight loss.

No one, and I mean no one, no matter what shape or size, should be afraid of food and made to feel that they are wrong or “bad” for eating certain food.

Freedom from Food Fear

One of the ways to get rid of food fear is to learn to build trust around that food. That means that you eat that food, see that nothing “terrible” happened (i.e. you didn’t gain 5 pounds over night), and then eat it again.

I am not talking about binge eating on these foods. Nor am I speaking about “see it, want it, eat it” without any thought given to eat.

That is a BIG misconception about Intuitive Eating. Those who are hesitant to begin this journey think they will “lose control” (their words) around foods. I’ve said this multiple times but it is worth repeating:

Intuitive Eating is NOT about instant gratification!

When you embark on the journey towards giving up dieting to reclaim WholeBody Trust™ through intuitive eating, you are learning to be rid of the food fear and body worry that has plagued you for so many years and decades. It’s a feeling of freedom of not being bound to the chains of dieting! It’s about having pleasure and satisfaction in your meals, without guilt. It’s about learning to tune inward to listen to what your body needs and wants. And to be able to trust it.

For how many more years will you be at war with food and your body? Isn’t it time you gave yourself the gift of peace around food?

Click HERE to schedule a complementary call with me and let’s figure out the best way for you to start this journey.

Overcoming Your Fear of Bread

Food fear, it’s a real thing. If you’ve been on and off diets over the years, losing and gaining the same weight repeatedly, you probably have some food fear. And this fear is driven by diet culture messages. Most restrictive weight loss diets ban bread, or severely restrict bread. This sets you up to believing that if you eat bread, you’re going to gain weight.

I recently met a lovely woman at a party. I didn’t know her, she’s my friend’s friend but we got along quickly, almost as if we knew each other for years. Where do you think the conversation went?

“Oh, I hear you’re a nutritionist. I’ve recently lost 20 pounds. I’m trying so hard not to gain it back, and to lose even more weight.”

This conversation is not new to me. Oftentimes, when I am introduced to someone and they ask what I do for a living, they move right into telling me how they eat, what they eat, what they don’t eat and the different diets they’ve tried.

I don’t want to be rude, but I am really done with having every social conversation revolve around diets do’s and don’ts.

Anyway, back to this woman. She was asking my advice on some lunch ideas because she’s getting tired of salad and tuna (can you relate?). I suggested a sandwich of some kind, using whole wheat pita bread, tortilla or a really nice stone ground bread. Her reaction?

“Oh, no I don’t eat bread. I’m afraid of bread. I don’t want to regain the weight.”

I really felt sorry for her. And if this is your reaction too, I am so sorry. No one should be afraid of any food. Here’s what I shared with her , and what I’m sharing with you…

No one food has the power to make you fat or skinny!

That’s right, diet culture has caused you to believe that if you eat bread, you will gain weight and that is absolutely false! Whole grain breads are rich in nutrients such as thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, folate, iron, magnesium and dietary fiber to name a few. You will not gain weight by eating any one singular food. When you incorporate bread into an overall healthy well-balanced eating regimen, you will provide your body with the nutrients you need for good health.

What does this look like in real life?

Perhaps that means having whole grain toast with scrambled eggs for breakfast, a stuffed whole wheat pita with chicken and avocado for lunch and a whole grain Quesadilla filled with beans and veggies for dinner.

Diets are not sustainable for life. Avoiding bread for life is not a realistic expectation for most people. I know, you don’t even want to avoid bread. You do enjoy it, but the fear holds you back.

Making Peace with Bread

The first step to making peace with bread is to eat bread. So, decide when and how you want to reintroduce bread into your eating life. Then sit down and mindfully enjoy, savoring the taste and texture of your meal.

Then do it again the next day, and the day after that. You will see that nothing changed, you didn’t miraculously gain 5 pounds over night.

The more you expose yourself to bread, eating it mindfully and will full attention, the less fear you will have over it.

Bon Appetit! Let me know what types of bread are your favorite.

And if you need help making peace with other foods, just head on over to www.TalkWithBonnie.com and schedule a complementary call.

3 Tips to Overcome the Fear of Weight Gain

One of the biggest obstacles I see for women who want to start the intuitive eating journey is a fear of weight gain. And I get this! It makes sense that you are so afraid of gaining weight because that’s the message you’ve been getting for many years.

 

When you were younger, you were told by your mom or dad “you have to eat healthy”, “you should lose weight”, “you have such a pretty face, if only you’d lose weight”.

 

You were told by your pediatrician “your BMI is too high”, “lose weight”.

 

You were laughed at by your peers, discriminated against on the job interview, made to feel uncomfortable on an airplane flight…

 

I can go on and on.

 

Being thin is what most women strive for as this is made to be an elevated status. But how much of your life will you spend chasing this “thin ideal”? What have you missed out on because you were uncomfortable in your skin? Because you don’t think you’re good enough the way you are? Because you feel judged by society?

 

I want you to live the life you were meant to live. Not live a life fearing food and fearing weight gain.

 

3 Tips to Overcome the Fear of Weight Gain:

 

1.Realize that embracing intuitive eating does not mean giving up. Learning to be an intuitive eater means returning to the way you were born, trusting and loving your body and being in awe of every part of it from your fingers to your toes, just like when you were a baby! Remember those days? Now, fill in the blank below to start appreciating your body again.

My body is amazing because_________________________.

 

2.Understand that only your body knows what size it is destined to be. Your doctor doesn’t know, the BMI charts don’t know, I don’t know, and you don’t even know. Allow your body to do what it feels best doing once you give up dieting and restriction. Trust that your body is brilliant and given the space, will arrive at a comfortable place.

 

3.Show your body respect and take good care of it. No matter your size, your body deserves to be respected. How? Here are some ideas: pamper your body with after shower scented lotions, enjoy gentle massage, wear comfortable clothes that you love, get enough sleep, talk nicely to your body and thank your body for all it does each night before you go to bed. Believe it or not, these are self-care activities that will help your body feel great!

 

I don’t want to undermine your feelings and fear of weight gain. But holding on to that fear will only keep you in the viscous cycle of dieting. Let’s bust through the fear together…you can do it!

 

Want support? Contact me here and let’s chat.

 

I Ate a Cinnamon Bun (and an Egg Roll)

Vacations are wonderful. At least now they are since I’m no longer dieting. In my dieting days, it would be very difficult to find a restaurant to go to for dinner that had food options on the menu that I “can” eat. I was so very careful of everything I put into my mouth, and honestly, I can say now that I was a party pooper back then.

 

This vacation was different. I just returned from a week in Florida where my husband, daughter and I went to visit my parents. We spent a few days at Hutchinson Island in Jensen Beach. It was so nice. The first night we were there, my parents wanted to take us out to dinner. Everyone voted on Chinese food. I don’t usually eat Chinese food, mainly because of the sodium content, I just find the food too salty. But I agreed to go.

 

Chinese Dinner

As I was looking over the menu, I took my time to see what I wanted to eat, versus what I “should” eat. I decided on a Tofu with Chinese Vegetables dish. And, because we went for the early bird (before 5:30 pm!), every dinner included a vegetable egg roll. Now, let me share 2 things with you. First, if I ever did order Chinese food in the past (which was rare), I would order it with a white sauce on the side. Second, I would NEVER eat an egg roll. I can’t even remember the last time I did.

 

My meal came (see pic below). It was delicious! And, yes, I ate most of the egg roll too! I stopped eating when I was comfortably satisfied and took the remaining portion home. When I left the restaurant, I felt satisfied and happy that I was open to eating Chinese food.

 

 

Pastry Shop

During the week, my husband and I went to Wynwood Walls in Miami. Have you ever been there? It’s a cool place to visit! Anyway, there’s a great food place there that we were told we just “had” to eat at. They are famous for their pastries, so as part of our meal, we ordered a cinnamon bun and almond pastry to share. Again, I stayed mindful during my meal, and enjoyed every bite. Later that night, I said to my husband “aren’t I more fun now that I eat all foods?” Without hesitating, he said YES!

 

Releasing Food Fear

What about you? If you are still dieting or you haven’t yet rebuilt the trust in your body and your ability to make food choices, do you find that this affects your relationships? Comment below!

 

More often than not, when you experience food fear, it prevents you from living your best life. You miss out on social opportunities and it may even be the cause of a relationship breakup.

 

I am so happy that I am free to eat what I desire, without guilt and without any worry of overeating. I’d love for you to experience this as well.

 

Getting Started

How do you start? By joining the free Break the Spell of Diets in 3 Days Experience. Just enter your name and email below to get started now.

 

If you’d like to view my intuitive eating course offerings, click here.

 

 

 

 

How to Push Through Fear

Fear, “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger” (Merriam-Webster) or “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Dictionary online).

 

If you stop and think about it for a moment, you probably have some fears in life. They can be related to traveling (flying in an airplane, driving on highways), animals (dogs, birds, insects), or relationships (commitment, marriage) to name a few.

 

But every day, I encounter clients and prospective clients that express fears related to two other things: food and change.

 

Food Fear

It’s not surprising to me that so many people have food fear. Food fears can be targeted at specific foods (i.e. pastries, chips) or whole food categories (i.e. breads and grains). They can relate to situations such as going to a party (“I won’t be able to resist the cake”) or meeting friends for dinner at a restaurant (“There are too many options, I’ll be tempted to order something not on the “light menu”).

 

How Does Food Fear Develop?

 

Well, typically they develop from messages you’ve received around these foods. These can be messages from members of your family, friends, or even health professionals. If your mom was a chronic dieter and she’d make statements such as “I can’t eat x” or “I gained 5 pounds just from eating y last night”, you internalized these messages and with repetition, they became your beliefs.

 

Food fears also develop from what you hear in the media, read in the newspaper,  and see in advertisements. Let’s face it, there is always someone touting the next great miracle to lose weight and it usually includes demonizing certain foods and/or food groups.

 

How Do You Heal from these Beliefs and Food Fears?

 

Bear with me, I’ll answer that question soon. First I want to address the second fear I revealed above: fear of change.

 

Fear of Change

 

Just the other day my hairdresser was telling me that the salon is moving down the block. She was upset. I asked her why. She said, “I don’t like change”.

 

Yes, change is hard. But if you have been engaging in the same behaviors for years without seeing results, then continuing these behaviors isn’t going to change anything. You cannot continue doing the same things and expect different results. That’s the definition of insanity (according to Albert Einstein)!

 

So, let’s dig a little bit here. What are you afraid of?

 

It could be a fear of actually NOT dieting anymore. It’s comfortable to diet. Well, what I mean is its familiar to you. You know what to expect, it’s safe for you. Diets tell you what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. You don’t need to make any decisions.

 

But let me ask you. Is this how you want to live your life? Or, do you want to be in charge of your own body and your food choices?

 

Perhaps it’s fear of success? I know, at first this sounds odd, doesn’t it? But take a moment and give thought to this one. Are you afraid to succeed for some reason? What reason might that be? Perhaps lack of confidence that you won’t be able to sustain this way of eating and living. Perhaps fear of achieving the body you’ve always wanted but you don’t want the attention this new body will bring you.

 

If you don’t learn to change old habits to make way for the new, you’ll never achieve the results you so desperately want.

 

Healing from Your Food Fears and Fear of Change

 

To heal from your food fears, you must first recognize what your beliefs are around these foods. To do that, you need to identify the negative messages you received and at what stage of your life you received them. And, from whom did you receive these messages? Then, and only then, can you work towards overturning these messages, beliefs and ultimately be at peace with food (and your body!)

 

To overcome your fear of change, you need to uncover the real reason why you are resisting change.  Realize that change will not happen unless you become just a little uncomfortable now in order to change your future. What is at the root of your fear of change and why you are so resistant to it?

 

If you’re like most of the woman I speak with, you’ve been working at breaking free of dieting for a while. You’ve researched the topic, spoken with coaches, downloaded materials and have read it over and over again. Yet, you are still stuck.

 

If you’d like me to help you get unstuck, I invite you to hop on a call with me and let’s discuss the possibilities. Get a spot on my calendar HERE.

 

Don’t see a time that works for you? No problem. Email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com