Tag Archive for: ditch diets

It’s Okay if You’re Not Ready to Give Up Dieting

Not everybody is ready to hear that “diets don’t work”. For years, you’ve been trying all the different diets that hit the market in hopes of losing weight and keeping it off. But each time, you gain back most, if not all, of the weight you lost, and you are back at square one.

The Dieter’s Dilemma

The Dieter’s Dilemma starts with the desire to be thin. This desire leads to the start of your diet. Eventually, you experience cravings for foods you’ve been restricting. This leads to having a “loss of control” and “overeating”, maybe even binge eating on these foods. You regain the weight you lost, with a side dish of guilt and shame.

But then, the desire to be thin becomes strong again, and you start your next diet.

The cycle continues, until you acknowledge that diets don’t work, and there must be a better way to exist. There is.

Reject the Diet Mentality

The first step to no longer dieting is to reject the diet mentality. That means learning to acknowledge when the Food Police is shouting food rules at you, as well as barbs, criticisms, and judgement about you “not following the rules”.

This step will take time. Think about it. You’ve been following diet food rules for years. You’ve been listening to others tell you when to eat, how much to eat and what to eat. These rules have created cognitive distortions and it takes practice to learn to reframe these thoughts into more rational thoughts.

Tip: Every time you hear a diet thought pop up, pause and call it out. Challenge that thought right then and there!! Within time, you will see that the Food Police is losing it’s hold over you.

Intuitive Eating

If you consider the words Intuitive Eating, you can come to understand that you have the natural inborn instinct to know when you are hungry and full, and what you truly want to eat in that moment. You are born with that instinct.

According to the creators of Intuitive Eating, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, Intuitive Eating is a “self-care eating framework, which integrates instinct, emotion, and rational thought.”

There are 10 principles of Intuitive Eating which work in 2 main ways:

  1. They help you cultivate attunement to the physical sensations in your body so you can meet both your biological and psychological needs. These are sensations that you have likely not been paying attention to in regard to eating, because you were focused on following rules external to your body.
  2. They help remove the obstacles that may be present that interfere with you cultivating this attunement. These obstacles generally come from your mind and the beliefs and thoughts you have around food, eating and your body.

I express to my clients that it’s very important to begin the process of giving up dieting by working on mindset first, rather than trying to attune to the inner signals. When you still have a diet mindset running in the back of your mind, then it’s much harder to learn to eat when hungry and stop when full because the rules are still running the show.

But What About Weight?

Great question!

I know that you are unhappy with your current body (weight). That’s why you’ve been on and off multiple diets over your lifetime. But if you continue to pursue intentional weight loss, then you are continuing to diet. It’s not possible to learn to reject the diet mentality while also trying to lose weight.

Will you lose weight? The honest answer is, I don’t know. Only your body knows what it will do when you stop restricting and allow your body to land where it is genetically pre-determined to land.

Are you able to put the desire to change your body on the side for a little while? To acknowledge that the desire for weight loss is there, but you won’t actively pursue it?

If you are able to do that, then you are ready for the Intuitive Eating journey. If you are not ready to put weight loss on the sideline, then you’re not ready to begin your Intuitive Eating journey.

And that is okay! It may take you some time to come around to it. And when you do, please know that I am here for you.

To get a taste of what it’s like to break free of diets, pop your name and email in the boxes below to a 3 day experience like no other!

 

 

3 No Diet Day Action Steps (and a Free Online Workshop)

Today is International No Diet Day! At first, this may sound like “yay, I can go off my diet today and eat whatever I want, how awesome!”. But it doesn’t mean that at all!

International No Diet Day is a worldwide celebration of body acceptance and a day to declare a life free from dieting.

Mary Evans Young started this movement in 1992 after battling anorexia and body image issues. She wanted to help herself and her friends to fully embrace their bodies for a day! Little did she know that it would become a global movement!

Stop what you’re doing right now, look into your eyes in the mirror, and declare this the first day of NO MORE DIETING, NO MORE RESTRICTION, NO MORE BODY SHAMING! You got this!

Drowning in Diet Culture

In this age of social media, it’s almost impossible to go a day without hearing about a celebrity’s new diet miracle or seeing pictures of famous new moms strolling out of the hospital in skinny jeans and stilettos just days after giving birth.

Everywhere you turn, there are people trying to lose weight either by dieting, over-exercising, or both. There is an entire diet culture focused on highlighting the lives of famous people in order to feed your insecurities.

This is all a marketing ploy! The Diet Culture is a multi-billion dollar industry designed to make you feel bad about yourself. The diet companies aren’t interested in your well-being; they’re interested in how they can get you to hate yourself so you’re willing to pay them to make everything better. It’s a scam; you don’t need them – you’re fabulous just as you are!

Debunking the Diet Myth

Diets are set up to make it seem as if it’s your fault they don’t work, but the truth is, it’s them.

Dieting is a cycle of weight loss followed by weight gain, which leads to negative body image and the resolution to try harder next time. So you try again. And the same thing happens. So you try again. And so on, with some people dieting for decades without “success.”

Is that you?

As you know, I have dedicated my career to teaching people how to respect and love their bodies without continuing the chronic dieting lifestyle.

3 No Diet Day Action Steps

Today, I ask that you take part in this effort to change the mentality you have about dieting.

  1. Challenge the idea that there is a “perfect” body for everyone. Appreciate the beauty in everyone, including yourself.
  2. Look past the smoke and mirrors of the diet industry. Question the validity of their claims and scrutinize who benefits the most from chronic dieting.
  3. Commit to this day being free of diets, restriction, weight obsession, food worry…and the first day towards true food freedom!

I know this is a scary thought! But I do have faith in you! And, you know that I am here to take this journey with you; I will walk with you hand-in-hand! Reach out HERE if you’d like to jump on the phone for a quick call to explore this further!

FREE ONLINE WORKSHOP

If you’re experiencing emotional eating, know that diet restriction will only make it worse!

Learn how to triumph over emotional eating in my 5 Day FREE Online Workshop, starting Monday May 11, 2020!

There will be daily live training, an online community of support and PRIZES!!

Learn more and register at THIS LINK!

3 Strategies to Turn Self-Hate into Self-Love

Society has women believing that they need to look a certain way and weigh a certain number and if they don’t measure up, then they are not worthy of love, success and happiness. They tie their self-worth into a number on a scale which leads them to body hatred and self-hatred and continuously looking for the next diet.

 

What is self-love anyway?

 

You’ll likely find various definitions for self-love. To me, self-love means caring for yourself, meeting your needs and making yourself a priority in your life. It means valuing the person you are on the inside and not measuring your worth based on the outside.

 

So, you might be thinking that sounds great, but how do I do that with all the messages I’ve received since childhood into my adulthood that if I am not a size 2, I am not worthy.

 

Here are 3 strategies to help you turn self-hate into self-love:

  1. Focus on Self-esteem boosters: Make a list of the accomplishments you’ve had in your life. Read this list and add to it daily. Remind yourself that you are capable, smart and can do anything you set your mind to. You are awesome just the way you are!

 

  1. Make yourself a priority: Identify your needs that are being unmet and set self-care goals to fill those voids. Be sure to attend to your needs first so you can give to others from a place of abundance. Is this challenging when you have a partner, parents and kids relying on you? It sure is. But are you worth it? You sure are!

 

  1. Give thanks and show gratitude: You have a lot to be thankful for. Your body is amazing and keeps you alive. Each day look in the mirror and give thanks to each part of your body from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. Proclaim your love to yourself. Do this every morning and every evening and watch how your feelings toward yourself change.

 

I am committed to helping women learn how to love themselves and their bodies exactly as they are now and gently move into a place of trusting their inner guidance system when it comes to nourishing themselves. If you’re interested in working together, schedule a call with me at www.TalkWithBonnie.com .

 

 

3 Tips for Eat Mindfully While Eating Out

A question I often hear from my intuitive eating clients is “how do I stay tuned into my hunger and fullness signals when I am eating out with friends?”

 

This is a common challenge, if you experience this too, just know you are not alone.

 

Eating out in restaurants bring all types of challenges for the intuitive eater in training. First, there’s the noise level in the restaurant. While there are many restaurants who have a quiet ambiance, there are even more that have a lot of noise from families with kids, televisions showing sports games, and even just the waiters and bus boys hustling around.

 

In addition to the noise level that can distract you from paying attention to your eating, there’s just the excitement of being out with friends, catching up on conversation, celebrating a birthday or other milestone, and trying new foods!

 

So, how do you stay tuned in while eating out?

 

Here’s 3 tips to get you started!

 

  1. Set an intention: Before you leave the house, set an intention of how you will stay present during the meal. Write this intention on a piece of paper or index card, read it out loud so you hear your voice, and put it in your purse. Just setting the intention will bring it into your conscious mind.

 

  1. Pause mid-meal: Take a break from eating at some point in the middle of your meal. Put the fork down and consciously ask yourself “how satisfied am I feeling at this point”. This does not mean you cannot pick up the fork and continue eating, it’s just a way to check-in with yourself.

 

  1. Maintain awareness: Stay fully present during the meal and maintain an awareness of your surroundings. Take some time to look around, notice the décor, the other diners, and breathe. The breathing will bring you into a state of “rest and digest” which will help you maintain awareness throughout your eating. This requires practice, so it’s best to practice this every day when you eat at home, it’ll then be easier when you are out.

 

Eating out is fun! There’s no reason to walk out of a restaurant holding your stomach and saying “Oh, I’m so full”. This takes away from the pleasant experience of socializing with good friends and eating good food.

 

Use these tips the next time you eat out and let me know below how it’s worked for you!

 

Want more tips? Follow me on Facebook and Instagram!

 

Still stuck in the diet cycle? Break the Spell of Diets in 3 Days by entering your name and email in the boxes below!

Intuitive Eating is Your Birthright – 5 Day Special

When’s the last time you watched a newborn baby feed? I mean a real newborn, like just a few hours old.

 

I did, on Monday evening, when I went to visit my daughter-in-law and newborn granddaughter! I could have just stared for hours at this little princess; she is just so adorable. But as I was staring at her, I noticed something very interesting. She started puckering up her mouth and moving it side-to-side, her way of telling her mom that she was hungry!

 

Did you ever stop to think about this?

 

Babies cannot speak, their way of communicating is non-verbal, and they get their message across loud and clear. That message of hunger is coming from within, they were born with the ability to know when they are hungry and when they are satisfied enough to pull away from breast or bottle.

 

You were born this way too! You may not remember back to those early newborn days, but you were. We are all born intuitive eaters.

 

So, what happened over the years that caused you to stop being guided by this innate ability of eating intuition?

 

While there are several reasons, the biggest one I feel is you falling prey to the billion-dollar diet industry and your desire to lose weight.

 

When you start listening to food rules and guidelines from external sources (meaning outside of your own body), you are basically telling your body that you don’t trust the messages it is giving you.

 

This is not your fault. The diet industry and those health coaches promoting diets are at fault. But you can do something about it today. You can stand up and say NO MORE DIETS! You can tell yourself that you CAN learn to TRUST in your own body again.

 

Because I am telling you, YOU CAN!

 

Getting back to becoming an intuitive eater is a journey of discovery and growth. There is no start and end point. It will become a daily practice that is second nature again, just as you were born.

 

Maybe you are already on your intuitive eating journey. That’s great!! Practice and support will continue to guide you to coming home to your body.

 

In honor of my new granddaughter, I have a SPECIAL OFFER for you!

 

For You – If You’ve Had Previous Intuitive Eating Training:

For 5 days only, get the PRACTICE, SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY you need to kick your intuitive eating practice up a notch.

 

Join the INTUITIVE EATING MASTERY CIRCLE for 50% off. Read all the details HERE and join an amazing group of women who are on the journey towards living life to the fullest!

 

For you – If You’re Just Starting Your Intuitive Eating Journey:

For 5 days only, get 50% off my Freedom to Eat Forever Intuitive Eating Program, PLUS 5 months FREE in the Intuitive Eating Mastery Circle. Read all the details HERE and join an inspiring community of women who support each other every step of the way.

 

Not sure which program is right for you? Email me and let’s get on the phone and figure it out together.

Why I Wrote My Book, Enjoying Food Peace (Coming Soon)

For years I’ve been helping clients and patients make the changes necessary to live a healthier life. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, it’s an amazing feeling to hear from a client how I’ve impacted them in a positive way.

 

Yes, I make a difference and I help people. Man, this feels good.

 

But one day it occurred to me. While many of my clients were making lifelong changes, there was a group of individuals who were struggling. After digging deeper, I realized why.

 

These wonderful and caring individuals were not at peace with food or their bodies. They were striving to live up to society’s standards of the “thin ideal” and would do anything to achieve this unreasonable goal, all the while being miserable. They were eating foods that they thought they should eat, and not foods they loved. And, if they ate something they loved, they often felt guilty afterwards telling themselves “now I’m going to gain weight.”

 

If you’re here reading my blog, I imagine you resonate with what I’m talking about. Food is not something to be feared, food is to be enjoyed. Yet, too many people in this world are brainwashed to believe that there are “good-for-you” foods and “bad-for-you” foods and it wreaks havoc on their lives.

 

Labeling Food

Good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, legal/illegal etc. It doesn’t matter what label you give food, just the fact that you put a label on a food is elevating some foods and demonizing others.

 

Of course, there are some foods that are more nutrient-rich than others, I don’t argue that. But there is a purpose for all foods. Some foods fuel you and some foods give you great taste pleasure. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

Making Peace with Food

I’ve been in private practice for over 30 years! I’ve seen a lot of people lose weight and regain that weight plus more through some form of dieting. It was time for them to stop relying on what others told them to eat and start to eat what they truly wanted.

 

So, for the last 8 years I’ve helped chronic dieters and emotional eaters make peace with food through my Intuitive Eating Program. Once the food fear was gone, they were able to enjoy all types of foods made in all types of ways from all types of cuisine. They truly recaptured the pleasures of eating.

 

Enjoying Food Peace Was Born

I wanted this peace for people all over the world that were struggling with their food. So, I decided to write a cookbook called, Enjoying Food Peace: Recipes and Intuitive Eating Wisdom to Nourish Your Body and Mind.

 

Get a sneak peek here!

 

This book is not just for chronic dieters looking for food peace. It’s also for people who are obsessed with “eating healthy” to the point where they have cut out major food groups or nutrients and have just a small selection of foods they feel safe eating. It’s a segue back to balanced eating.

 

Enjoying Food Peace is also for everyone who enjoys a good meal.

 

It’s taken me 6 years to write this book! I put together an amazing team of nutrition interns who helped test the recipes. We met every Tuesday in my test kitchen to taste the foods that were prepared that week. Then we would evaluate and critique. “It needs a little more of that, a little less of this, ah, it’s perfect!”

 

The Wisdoms

After completing the recipes and putting together the book, I felt I wanted to add more. One night it came to me…write a chapter introducing intuitive eating and share some “Intuitive Eating Wisdoms” throughout the book. So, that’s exactly what I did! Not only will the recipes nourish your body, but the wisdoms will nourish your mind.

 

The creative genius and photographer behind the design of the book and the color photos you’ll see inside is my amazing assistant Samantha Baturin. This book would not be coming to life if it wasn’t for Samantha! I am forever grateful to her!!

 

Enjoying Food Peace provides the reader with over 150 tasty recipes and Intuitive Eating Wisdom to eat what you love, without a side of guilt.

 

I hope you’re as excited as I am for March 20th launch day! Keep your eyes peeled so you can get your copy!

 

In the meantime, here’s a sneak peek at what’s inside Enjoying Food Peace (free recipe included!).

 

 

Results Not Typical

It’s easy to be influenced by pictures we see or advertisements we read. There is no shortage of ads for weight loss products, pills, drinks, diets etc. Each of these are accompanied by a before and after picture. The before picture of the woman (or man) is usually her standing slouched over with a solemn look on her face. And then the after picture, standing with the best posture and a big smile. Many times, the person in the after picture is even holding up a large article of clothing to show the size they used to wear.

 

The advertisement is telling you that if you use said product, you can lose weight too, just like the person in the picture. It gets you all hyped up to think “If she can do this, so could I”. THIS is the solution (a.k.a. miracle) I’ve been waiting for!

The Problem

You may wonder what’s the problem with being encouraged by someone else’s weight loss results who used the advertised product?

 

The first problem (among many) is that all people are different. You don’t know what her medical history is or her dieting history. You don’t know what medications she’s taking that possibly affect her appetite or her weight. You don’t know anything about her except that she took this product and lost weight.

 

The second product is you know nothing about the ingredients in this product. Many times, you can’t even pronounce them. Will they interact with your meds? Are they approved ingredients? Is this product contraindicated with your conditions? Oh, there are so many unknowns here.

 

The Deceit

Did you ever look at the fine print in the advertisements? If not, take a look. It reads something along the lines of:

  • Results not typical
  • As part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle
  • All subjects followed a calorie-reduced diet and walking program
  • Price does not include cost of grocery items

 

Yes, you read that correctly. The models in the advertisements who used the product were also dieting, cutting calories and exercising. Yet, the ad doesn’t lead you to believe that. It makes you think that you just need to pop this pill (“supplement”) three times per day and voila!

 

And, the results you are seeing are not typical of most average people. The advertisers are saying it right there to you. But if you don’t read the fine print, you miss it. You think it’s the product that brought these results that you too desire so much.

 

Bottom Line

Don’t believe everything you see or read. And, do your due diligence, read the fine print. Don’t get suckered into another diet or gimmick. More than 95% of people who lose weight on a diet regain that weight within 2-5 years. Do you want to be included in that statistic?

 

The #1 Thing You Need to Do

Give up dieting. Commit to never diet again. But don’t stop there. Believe that you CAN change the way you relate to food and your body. Your mind is a powerful thing. It all starts with ONE BELIEF!

 

Not sure about intuitive eating?

Let’s take it one step at a time. First step is to break the spell that diets have over you. Add your name and email in the boxes below and join me over the next 3 days to learn how to break this spell.

Intuitive Eating is Not Giving Up

What feeling comes to mind when you decide to never diet again? For many people, an immediate “weight” (no pun intended) is lifted off their shoulders. They use words such as:

 

Freedom

Excitement

Exhilaration

Relief

Joy

 

(What’s your word, comment below!)

 

But for others, I know this isn’t the case. When you’re in the contemplation stage of thinking about no longer dieting and instead to “try” intuitive eating, you have a feeling as if you are “giving up”.

 

But why is that?

 

Diets don’t work. I’m not just talking about the formalized diets like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Slim Fast etc. I’m also talking about your own self-designed diets. You know the ones where you make a set of rules for yourself, the “do’s and don’ts” of eating and you follow those rules. This doesn’t work either. And when I say “work”, I’m speaking your language because you determine success by a number on the scale.

 

Sure, when you restrict your eating for a period of time and you exercise your buns off, you will likely lose weight. But you and I know that that weight does not stay off. When you start to feel deprived of not eating the foods you love, and when you get tired of killing yourself at the gym, you give up these set of rules and the weight returns.

 

That is, until you get fed up with yourself and you are disgusted with your body and how you feel, well, then you write up another set of rules to follow for the next few weeks.

 

And on and on you go.

 

I think that you realize it’s time to change. It’s time to finally say no more dieting. But you feel that if you don’t at least “try” to “control” your weight, then it’s like giving up. You feel that if you embrace the intuitive eating journey and don’t focus on your weight, then you are giving up. That if you don’t try to lose weight, then you’ve given up.

 

Committing to the intuitive eating journey is NOT you giving up. It is you showing respect to your body and telling yourself that you are worth more than the food obsession that’s become the sole purpose of your every day.

 

I am not telling you to eat a dozen donuts for breakfast every morning (but if you want a donut, heck go ahead and enjoy it!). What I am telling you is that intuitive eating is not dieting. Don’t let your past dieting “failures” lead you to think that you will “fail” at intuitive eating too.

 

First, there is no failure in intuitive eating. It’s just not possible.

 

Second, intuitive eating is you giving yourself a chance to finally be a peace with food and your body and come home to the body that you were born in.

 

So on the contrary, intuitive eating is not giving up. It’s giving you the gift of life.

 

If you’re ready to give it a go, learn more about my Intuitive Eating for Adults Programs HERE. If you’d like to get started either working 1-1 with me, or you prefer the online program, just reach out to me.

 

Isn’t it time?

 

Can You Fail at Intuitive Eating?

The short answer is no! You cannot fail at intuitive eating. But let’s dig into this topic a bit because the idea of failure is top of mind for chronic dieters.

 

You’ve been down this road before. You want to lose weight so the only way you know how to do that is to go on a diet. You’re going along fine, eating what the diet tells you to, not eating what you “shouldn’t” and you start to feel lighter on your feet. Your clothes are fitting better and you are on a high.

 

Until you aren’t anymore.

 

What happened?

 

Well, you had a bad day at work, you lost a client, your boss yelled at you, you got a ticket driving home, and you had a fight with your partner. You walk in the house and you are in a really foul mood. You head straight to the kitchen and open the fridge to grab that chocolate cake you knew was in there, leftover from the party the other night. You dig in, and you tune out.

 

When you come out of your chocolate cake coma, you are really upset with yourself. You just blew your diet. Now you feel frustrated, angry with yourself, and the negative self-talk begins: “There you go again, screwing it all up”, “You can never stay on a diet, why do you even try”, “You are such a failure”.

 

The above is just one scenario where your desire to be “thin” led you to a diet which led you to feeling like a failure. What are some other scenarios?

 

2 Other Scenarios that Lead to Feelings of Failure

 

  1. Scenario #1: You want to lose weight and be “thin”. You go on a diet, restricting and depriving yourself of your favorite foods. At some point, you can’t stand the deprivation anymore…you must have “just a little” chocolate. You eat a piece, then another, and then another. Now, it’s an all out binge, as you vow to start again tomorrow. What happened here is that the restriction led to cravings which led to bingeing. Now, you feel miserable again and you have a deep desire to lose weight, again. You start the cycle all over> diet>restriction>deprivation>cravings>rebound eating>binge eating. And the feeling you have = FAILURE.

 

  1. Scenario #2: It’s the holiday season, and you’ve dieted your way into that little black dress. You are going to kill it at the holiday parties and family get-togethers. You can’t wait to hear all the compliments about your weight loss and how great you look. But wow, you are surrounded by all these goodies that you haven’t eaten for so long. You tell yourself you are not going to eat anything you “shouldn’t”. But then the inevitable happens. You aren’t paying attention, there’s a little too much alcohol and before you know it, you’ve dipped into the appetizers and pastries. At this point you tell yourself “I deserve it, I’m going to enjoy the holidays and not worry about the food. I’ll get back on my diet on January 1st.” And on January 1st, you wake up and feel miserable . You’ve regained much of the weight you lost, that little black dress doesn’t fit so well anymore, and you feel like a FAILURE.

 

What do you do? See scenario #1 above.

 

A Better Option than Dieting

 

I have another option for you where you will NEVER feel like a failure. And that option is > Intuitive Eating.

 

Intuitive eating is eating based on your physiological need to eat, based on your hunger and fullness signals, and NOT based on situations you are in or emotions you are feeling.

 

Intuitive eating is returning to eating the way you were born.

 

Now, just because you were born an intuitive eater, does not mean the journey back to it is an easy one if you’ve been dieting for years. You see, while as a baby you didn’t give much thought to eating, it was something you just knew (i.e. hunger pangs, cry for food; full belly, push away), as a dieting adult, you haven’t been listening to these signals. You’ve been relying on outside influences to guide your eating.

 

One of the biggest challenges I see with women who are learning to return to being intuitive eaters is TRUST. They are afraid to trust that their bodies will guide them correctly.

 

Is this you too?

 

I get it! You have lost trust in your body and in yourself to make your own food decisions because of all the “failures” from dieting (see scenarios above).

 

So, it’s of utmost importance that you understand that there is no pass or fail in intuitive eating.

 

Read and internalize this next sentence – I cannot fail at intuitive eating!

 

One of the biggest objections I hear from women who hesitate to commit to working on their relationship with food through intuitive eating is that they are afraid to fail again. That they’ve done it all and failed, so why should this work.

 

The reason? You have not tried this before. And if you have and you hit some roadblocks, then it’s more than likely that the diet mentality is still lingering. This is NOT FAILURE. This is part of the process.

 

A New Year Decision

 

Take this moment to commit to your intuitive eating journey. Repeat over and over “I cannot fail at intuitive eating” so a new neural pathway forms. Let this next year be the year where you leave dieting and all the negativity that comes with it behind.

 

I am taking new clients now for 2019. If you’d like to speak with me to see if we are a right fit for working together, just click here.

 

How to Push Through Fear

Fear, “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger” (Merriam-Webster) or “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Dictionary online).

 

If you stop and think about it for a moment, you probably have some fears in life. They can be related to traveling (flying in an airplane, driving on highways), animals (dogs, birds, insects), or relationships (commitment, marriage) to name a few.

 

But every day, I encounter clients and prospective clients that express fears related to two other things: food and change.

 

Food Fear

It’s not surprising to me that so many people have food fear. Food fears can be targeted at specific foods (i.e. pastries, chips) or whole food categories (i.e. breads and grains). They can relate to situations such as going to a party (“I won’t be able to resist the cake”) or meeting friends for dinner at a restaurant (“There are too many options, I’ll be tempted to order something not on the “light menu”).

 

How Does Food Fear Develop?

 

Well, typically they develop from messages you’ve received around these foods. These can be messages from members of your family, friends, or even health professionals. If your mom was a chronic dieter and she’d make statements such as “I can’t eat x” or “I gained 5 pounds just from eating y last night”, you internalized these messages and with repetition, they became your beliefs.

 

Food fears also develop from what you hear in the media, read in the newspaper,  and see in advertisements. Let’s face it, there is always someone touting the next great miracle to lose weight and it usually includes demonizing certain foods and/or food groups.

 

How Do You Heal from these Beliefs and Food Fears?

 

Bear with me, I’ll answer that question soon. First I want to address the second fear I revealed above: fear of change.

 

Fear of Change

 

Just the other day my hairdresser was telling me that the salon is moving down the block. She was upset. I asked her why. She said, “I don’t like change”.

 

Yes, change is hard. But if you have been engaging in the same behaviors for years without seeing results, then continuing these behaviors isn’t going to change anything. You cannot continue doing the same things and expect different results. That’s the definition of insanity (according to Albert Einstein)!

 

So, let’s dig a little bit here. What are you afraid of?

 

It could be a fear of actually NOT dieting anymore. It’s comfortable to diet. Well, what I mean is its familiar to you. You know what to expect, it’s safe for you. Diets tell you what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. You don’t need to make any decisions.

 

But let me ask you. Is this how you want to live your life? Or, do you want to be in charge of your own body and your food choices?

 

Perhaps it’s fear of success? I know, at first this sounds odd, doesn’t it? But take a moment and give thought to this one. Are you afraid to succeed for some reason? What reason might that be? Perhaps lack of confidence that you won’t be able to sustain this way of eating and living. Perhaps fear of achieving the body you’ve always wanted but you don’t want the attention this new body will bring you.

 

If you don’t learn to change old habits to make way for the new, you’ll never achieve the results you so desperately want.

 

Healing from Your Food Fears and Fear of Change

 

To heal from your food fears, you must first recognize what your beliefs are around these foods. To do that, you need to identify the negative messages you received and at what stage of your life you received them. And, from whom did you receive these messages? Then, and only then, can you work towards overturning these messages, beliefs and ultimately be at peace with food (and your body!)

 

To overcome your fear of change, you need to uncover the real reason why you are resisting change.  Realize that change will not happen unless you become just a little uncomfortable now in order to change your future. What is at the root of your fear of change and why you are so resistant to it?

 

If you’re like most of the woman I speak with, you’ve been working at breaking free of dieting for a while. You’ve researched the topic, spoken with coaches, downloaded materials and have read it over and over again. Yet, you are still stuck.

 

If you’d like me to help you get unstuck, I invite you to hop on a call with me and let’s discuss the possibilities. Get a spot on my calendar HERE.

 

Don’t see a time that works for you? No problem. Email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com