Tag Archive for: diet mindset

I’ve Been “Bad” Today, So I Might as Well…”

If you’ve ever dieted (and you likely have if you’re reading this blog), this statement probably sounds too familiar to you. It goes like this:

I’ve been bad today, so I might as well…

  • “Start again tomorrow.”
  • “Start fresh on Monday.”
  • “Just try to do better tomorrow.”

The “start again tomorrow” mentality is your diet mentality speaking and comes from eating what you consider “bad” foods, and/or not exercising and/or binge eating etc.

Typical Scenario:

 You are being really “good” on your diet, eating healthy all day long. But then, you were triggered by a fight with your partner, and you ended the night in a pint of ice cream. You now say: “My whole day is ruined.”

You feel as though the entire day is “ruined” because while you ate “clean” or “healthy” for the whole day, you canceled all that out with what you ate at night. When you reach this point, you feel defeated and focus on all the “damage” you’ve done. This in turn has you completely abandoning your “healthy eating” habits while engaging in a free-for-all with the foods you’ve deemed “bad”. Until of course, you “start over”.

Starting Over Cycle

The above scenario triggers the responses I mentioned above, which are:

  • “I’ll figure it out later”
  • “I’ll start fresh Monday”
  • “I’ll start again tomorrow”

However, once “tomorrow” or Monday comes, the cycle will repeat itself.

Healthy eating all day > indulge in a “bad” food > free-for-all >“I’ll start again tomorrow.”

This cycle is deeply rooted in diet mentality and can be very dangerous to both your mental and physical health.

Getting Out of the Trap

While you understand this trap you fall into, and you promise yourself you won’t do it again, it inevitably happens.

So how can you NOT fall into this trap?

  1. Get rid of the diet food rules: Yes, the first step is to stop dieting and to throw away all the rules you have around food. Oftentimes, you are fully aware that these rules haven’t served you well, yet it’s a scary thought to give them up. I get it! That’s why support is so important, you don’t have to do this alone. Click here to join my free Facebook community and get help throwing away the rules.

 

  1. Stop trying to eat perfectly. There is no one perfect way to eat! When we strive to be perfect, the moment you deviate by even one bite, you are ready to throw in the towel. This is called the “what the hell effect” (sound familiar?)

 

  1. Acknowledge Nutritional Needs Diversity (yes, I made that term up!). Basically, everyone has unique nutritional needs. No two people are the same, so trying to follow a set of rules and eating pattern that is dictated to you will always lead to you falling “off the wagon” (diet language), and “I’ll start again tomorrow.” The key is to figure out what feels best in your body to meet your unique nutritional needs.

The diet mentality runs deep. But you CAN chip away at this mindset. Have confidence in yourself and have patience!

And, of course, reach out for support if you feel it’ll be helpful:

Free Facebook Group: Intuitive Eating for a Diet Free Life

Free Session: www.talkwithbonnie.com

 

How to Change Your Diet Mindset in 3 Steps

Let’s face it, the way we think determines what we do. This is true of most any area of our life à food, weight, relationships, career etc.

 

In the world of dieting, your thoughts play a big role in the actions you take, or don’t take.

 

“I’ll never be able to lose weight.”

“I can’t change my eating habits; I’ve tried and always fail.”

“I’m a loser, a failure, not even worthy of spending time and money on myself.”

 

These are examples of negative self-talk. Very destructive thoughts and words that keep you cycling in despair.

 

You’re probably all too familiar with the negative self-criticism that perpetuates the vicious cycle of dieting.

 

The same holds true if you’ve been working on Intuitive Eating.

 

Each time you think you can’t succeed at learning to be an Intuitive Eater, you are strengthening a self-fulfilling prophecy so that you don’t.

 

If you think you can’t, you won’t. If you think you can, you will.

 

3 Steps to Changing Your Mindset

 

Step 1: Become Aware.

Take the time to consider what your thoughts are relating to food, body, weight, etc. Are you even aware of these thoughts? Is this the first time you’re stopping to think about them? Are these thoughts on autopilot?

Once you become aware and identify your thought patterns, consider how they have been impacting your relationship with food and your body. How has these thoughts affected your feelings, your behaviors and ultimately your results?

 

Step 2: Assess Importance.

You are in charge of your thoughts and your actions. No one else. Now that you have become more aware of them, you’ll want to take time to consider if this is something worth your time to invest in changing them.

Is it important to you if you change your mindset? Why, or why not?

 

Step 3: Do the Work.

Now what do you do with the info you gathered from steps 1 and 2? You do the work to make the change you so desire. And it will take work. But it is work that will change your life. As you practice changing your thoughts, you will see that your beliefs change, your feelings change, your behaviors change, and your results change.

But you’ve got to do the work.

 

Mind Your Language While Doing the Work

Ever notice how often you say “I’ll try”? “I’ll try not to eat when I’m upset”, “I’ll try not to say “I should have” or “I shouldn’t have”.

Using the word “I’ll try” gives the message that you will less likely follow through, versus saying “I will”.

Replace “I can’t” with “I can”.

Replace “I’ll try” with “I will”.

 

Support is a Click Away

Click video graphic below to access Free Support.

 

 

 

 

Intuitive Eating for a Diet Free Life Online Community – Free Facebook Group!

 

“Eat this, Don’t Eat That” Never Works: 2 Case Studies

After years of being told “eat this, don’t eat that”, it’s logical that you just want to be in charge of your own eating decisions. Yet, that can be a scary proposition if you aren’t sure any longer how to eat. It’s more than likely all the food rules you’ve been given have been for the end goal of weight loss, and mostly under the guise of “for your health”.

But what if we put weight loss on the side for now. What if learning how to eat to manage blood glucose levels, lower cholesterol levels and improve energy can be done without the worry of your weight?

That would be amazing.

Charles’s Story

Let me share a story with you. Charles (name changed for privacy) came to see me with a diagnosis of uncontrolled diabetes. He has type 2 diabetes for many years, is on several medications but is still having a hard time getting his blood glucose into target range. He’s been focusing all these years on losing weight to manage diabetes and has been busy counting calories and restricting his intake of wholesome food that he was told to avoid if he wants to lose weight. “Eat this, don’t eat that” became a mantra he heard all too often. So, he chose pre-portioned meals and snacks that were marketed for weight loss. He didn’t lose weight, nor was he able to bring his blood glucose down.

I suggested he put the worry of weight loss on the side for now and instead focus on understanding what is happening is his body in terms of glucose tolerance and insulin resistance. He started working with my in my Healthy Living with Diabetes Program™ and he quickly learned how his body processes carbs, how to plan meals to match this ability, and the many variables aside from food that can impact his blood glucose.

Fast forward 4 months and Charles’s blood glucose and A1C are well within target range and he has minimized his risk of diabetes complications. Did he lose weight? It just so happens he did, but the weight loss was an OUTCOME of his habit and behaviors changes. It was never the focus.

James’s Story

Now let’s look at another client, also with type 2 diabetes, not well-managed. His lovely wife reached out to me for help. She is so worried about James’s health (name changed for privacy), she’s at her wits end.

James had a history of yo-yo dieting, having lost and gained 100 pounds a few times in his life. But now things are different. He was diagnosed with diabetes yet he’s not taking responsibility to learn how to manage his blood glucose levels. She made an appointment to see me, and I asked her to speak with James about joining the session. He did.

While James was reluctant to share too much in session, he did listen as I shared with him the process I use to educate and empower my clients to learn about their diabetes, and how to best care for themselves. He did seem somewhat interested but was unable to commit to stop dieting in an effort to get healthier.

James’s wife told me after the session that he doesn’t like people telling him what to do, which is what happened his whole life when dieting. I assured her that in weight-neutral diabetes care, it’s the exact opposite. The client is in the driver’s seat. I am a passenger and act as a co-pilot in teaching and educating.

Letting Go of the Diet Mentality

Whether you have diabetes or not, if you’ve been dieting to lose weight with hopes of getting “healthier”, chances are you are still dieting and on the proverbial diet roller coaster (and not much healthier!). Getting out of the diet mentality is not easy, but it IS possible. It means trying something you’ve never tried before – that is to learn to trust yourself to make the best decisions for yourself around food and eating.

Free Resource if You Have Diabetes

If you have diabetes and want to learn how to manage your blood glucose without restriction and dieting, download my free eBook: 5 Keys to Manage Diabetes Without Dieting.

Free Resource if You’ve Been Yo-Yo Dieting

If you’ve been chronically dieting and are at your wits end, take this short journey towards Breaking the Spell of Diets in 3 Days Online Experience (or pop your name and email in below).

And, if have any questions along the way, be sure to reach out.

3 Steps to Stop Overeating on Vacation

Summer is in full swing, it’s my favorite season! There’s less stress, no school carpools or tutors to schedule and it’s a time when my husband and I take some much needed time off.

 

In the days when I was dieting, I would often be apprehensive about an upcoming vacation. It would start with the thought of trying on all the summer clothes in my closet to see what “looked good” and have them piled high on my bed until I narrowed it down to what would make it into my suitcase.

 

Then of course it was the thought of what I would eat on vacation. Would the restaurants have food that was “on my diet”? What would happen to my weight if I ate out at a restaurant each evening? And what about the drinks? I don’t mean water, that I have no problem drinking. I mean the cocktails that I may want to enjoy at the pool or at dinner. How many calories and how much sugar will it have and how will it affect the number on the scale?

 

Oh my, this is just so exhausting, so forget it! I’ll just enjoy my vacation and start my diet again when I get home.

 

Does this sound familiar to you? Have you done this, or thought these same things? (Please comment below the blog in the comment section….)

 

The above scenario depicts what I call the “Vacation Diet Mindset”. Yep, there’s a name for this. You are so good on your diet all week/month/year long, but vacation comes and all that “goodness” gets tossed out the window. Why?

 

Well, since you’ve been depriving yourself of the food you love while dieting, you figure that when you are away on vacation and enjoying yourself, you might as well enjoy yourself with food too. But the problem is it leads you to overeating and overindulging and quite honestly, not respecting your body.

 

Here’s the thing. If you were not restricting all week/month/year before your vacation, you’d be enjoying all the food you love all the time and you wouldn’t have to go into “Vacation Diet Mindset” when you went away.

 

So how do you shift out of this mindset? Here’s 3 steps to get started:

  1. Commit to no longer dieting. And by dieting, I also mean your own self-designed diets and food rules you put into affect for yourself. I know that’s a tall order, but until you are able to give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you desire, you will restrict and deprive and fall into the Vacation Diet Mindset on your next vacation.

 

  1. Take the Mindful Eating Pledge. Basically, this means promising yourself that you will be mindful of the food choices you make and you will maintain an awareness so you can fully savor and enjoy the food you are eating. When you do this, you will find that it will be easier to recognize fullness and stop before you get overfull.

 

  1. Ask for Support. The journey towards returning to being an intuitive eater and achieving WholeBody Trust™ of your mind, your hunger and your food takes time and requires support. There is no reason you need to do this alone. Seek support from your loved ones, a registered dietitian nutritionist-certified intuitive eating counselor and a community of like-minded women on the same journey as you. It’s powerful!

 

Are you struggling with your intuitive eating journey and want to take it to the next level? Join us in the Intuitive Eating Mastery Circle. Learn more here.

 

How to Stop Labeling Food as Good and Bad

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday Question and Struggle comes from 2 women in my Diet Free Radiant Me private Facebook group:

Question:

I know choosing certain foods makes me feel healthy and vibrant. I also know there are certain foods that make me feel the opposite, drain my energy and leave me feeling sluggish. How do I approach health in this way without viewing food as good and bad?

Struggle:

Bonnie, I can’t appreciate the body I have now because it isn’t healthy. I know losing the extra fat will help those issues. But I can’t stop labeling food as healthy or unhealthy. I keep reading not to label foods but we all know broccoli is healthier for you than a Hershey bar. I feel like the extra fat will not go away along with all the health problems until I start feeding myself healthier foods, which feels like a diet. I try to eat mostly healthy but it seems once I eat the unhealthier foods that’s all I crave because they do taste better to me. Help!

 

Both the question and struggle you have just read above have something in common, which is why I am addressing both in the same blog today on Intuitive Eating Wednesday.

The commonality is…

 

Food is being labeled. In the first question it’s being classified as “good and bad”, and in the second struggle it’s being labeled “healthy and unhealthy”. This is due to your years of dieting and following rules of foods to eat and those to avoid. The foods to eat are ‘good/healthy for you foods’, meaning they will help you lose weight (or at least not gain weight) and be healthy. The foods to avoid/are unhealthy are ‘bad for you’ foods, meaning they will cause you to gain weight and be unhealthy.

 

As long as you continue to think of food in these terms, you continue to harbor a diet mindset. And as long as you continue to harbor a diet mindset, you will continue to struggle.

 

Download Your Fleshing Our Your ‘Good Foods/Bad Foods’ Worksheet here.

 

Even though intellectually you know you feel more vibrant when you eat food A over food B, if you associate food A as a good/healthy food and food B as a bad/unhealthy food, you will continue to crave food B, depriving yourself of it until you have an emotional trigger and you fall into the “what the heck” mode. You then overeat food B, perhaps even to the point of bingeing, followed by guilt, shame, and hopelessness.

 

It IS possible to shift your mindset away from labeling foods and out of a dieter’s mindset. However, this must be done without consideration of the nutritional value of the foods otherwise you are still thinking in terms of good/bad, healthy/unhealthy which will keep you stuck in the diet food rule trap.

 

This is the very reason that I don’t teach nutrition to my intuitive eating clients until Step 5 of my 5 Step Intuitive Eating Program. If we start the process of learning how to nourish your body, yet you have a diet mentality, all the nutrition conversation we have about foods that make you feel healthy and vibrant is heard by you as more diet rules (good/bad, healthy/unhealthy).

 

Make sense?

 

Let’s discuss this further on today’s Facebook LIVE at 5:30 pm EST (note the time change!)

 

In the meantime, grab this freebie to help you understand your good food/bad food mindset: Fleshing Our Your ‘Good Foods/Bad Foods’ Worksheet.

 

 

Intuitive Eating…No Willpower Required

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday’s Question is:

“I’ve been trying intuitive eating, but I just don’t have the willpower to stick with it. How can I strengthen my willpower backbone?”

 

I just LOVE this question. But before I get to the answer, let’s get clear on your dieting history. It probably goes something like this:

 

You’ve tried them all. Weight Watchers, Atkins, Weight Watchers, the Blood Type Diet, Weight Watchers. the Scarsdale Diet, Weight Watchers, the HCG Diet, Weight Watchers. Oh, did I mention Weight Watchers?!

 

It is SO easy to get sucked into sensational claims that come with each of these diets. But what you are finding is that they don’t work. Well, they do “work” if by working you mean losing weight, only to gain it back.

 

Yes, I won’t disagree. All diets can work in helping you lose weight. But can we agree that they ultimately don’t work, seeing you are here looking for another way?

 

Throughout all the diets you’ve been on, you’ve tried SO hard to have SO much willpower so you can resist your favorite food that the diets deem bad for you. And, the reason you’ve been sucked into many fad diets is because you only have to endure them for a short period of time and therefore only need to have a little willpower until the diet is over.  

 

Many diets proudly state “Lose 30 pounds in 30 days”, or “6 weeks to flat abs”. I know this is very tempting. And you think to yourself “ok, I need to have willpower for 30 days (or 6 weeks) and that’s it…I’ll reach my goal and the diet and misery will be over.”

 

But we know that you can only resist your favorite food for so long. Maybe you can last the 30 days or 6 weeks. Or maybe you can’t. Either way, what happens? When your willpower weakens and you have an emotional trigger, you cave and have the very food you’ve been longing yet been restricting. And now you don’t just have a serving, you have several servings, and it eventually turns into a binge.

 

Next thing that happens >>> feelings of guilt, shame, hopelessness, failure and the negative self-talk and body bashing.

 

Well, the good news is this.

 

In the practice of intuitive eating, there is no willpower required. Yay! You learn to take all the conditions off your food and when you do, the power those foods hold over you are no more. Even better, once you learn to trust in your inner signals as your guide to eating, you will no longer need to rebel against the diets that are telling you what to eat and not to eat.

 

Because YOU are in charge!

So, back to the original question that came in from one of my readers:

 

“I’ve been trying intuitive eating, but I just don’t have the willpower to stick with it. How can I strengthen my willpower backbone?”

 

There is no willpower in intuitive eating. What I want you to recognize is if you are still relying on willpower, then you are still harboring a diet mentality. And this will cause you to continue to stumble on your intuitive eating journey.

 

Give thought to how many times a day or week you think to yourself that you need to have willpower to resist a food.

 

How many times do you call up your willpower before heading out to a party or dinner with friends?

 

Call yourself out on it. Recognize it. The more you do and the more you remind yourself that you don’t need willpower in intuitive eating, the more you will see the diet mentality dissipate.

 

Grab this freebie that I have for you and you’ll be well on your way to never falling into the willpower trap again: Your 3 Step Plan to Shift Out of Diet Mentality and the Willpower Trap.

 

Come join me on Facebook Live today, Wednesday at 1:30 pm EST for a free training on this very topic! We will be LIVE on my business page right at this link >

https://www.facebook.com/BRGDieteticsandNutritionPC/

 

Did You Have a Vacation Mindset Around Food this Summer?

Pool 2015I’m sorry to say that the summer is almost over! Someone asked me today when my daughter starts school, and I had to admit I didn’t know. I just love the summer. The warm weather, the relaxed attitude and vacation time.

 

This month I actually went on vacation TWICE! This is not like me. But, it’s all part of MY Self-Care Plan. It’s important to stop and take a break and re-energize.

 

My first vacation was with my husband for 5 days…no kids, just us. It was wonderful. One thing we did that we never have time to do at home is to eat out at restaurants. We actually ate out every evening! The second vacation was a short 2 days with another two couples.

 

My clients often worry when they are preparing to go away on vacation. They worry about the food they will eat, how much weight they will gain and they often go into “vacation mindset”.

 

What is “vacation mindset” you ask?

 

“Oh, I’m on vacation, I’ll enjoy myself and start my diet (or start over) when I get home.”

 

Yikes. Have you ever said this to yourself? Well, it’s okay if you have, but make a commitment from the moment you read this blog that you won’t fall prey to the “vacation mindset” again.

 

You see, when you say this to yourself, you are giving yourself permission to eat beyond your point of satisfaction, to eat and snack mindlessly because you are on vacation. And then when you return home, you are upset with yourself and start the negative self-talk and body bashing and probably promise never to do that again. But, you do.

 

Moving away from this mindset means you are respecting your body each and every day, no matter if you are on vacation or not. Staying tuned in and aware while choosing the foods you love will enable you to have pleasure in your meals and feel strong in your body.

 

This is the power of being an intuitive eater.

 

I enjoyed my vacations, and I enjoyed every meal that I ate. I didn’t worry about my food choices, I stayed tuned in and aware. You can too! I’m here to help you if you need me.

 

Want some extra support? Join my free private Facebook online community by clicking here.

 

 

 

Abolishing the “Eat This, Don’t Eat That” Rule

Portion control is something that is always stressed when discussing weight loss and healthy eating.  It is undeniable that the portions of food people eat are much larger than they were years ago, which is a direct contributor to the obesity epidemic this country is facing.

 

Several experiments have recently been conducted at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee.  It was discovered that people have a “taste-health balance point” – a proportion of unhealthy and healthy foods in each meal – which they find satisfactory.  Thus, eating a smaller portion of a food you love (that might not be deemed the healthiest), rather than eliminating it completely, and pairing it with a healthy food choice allows the person to be satisfied with a smaller amount without feeling deprived.

 

Yet, in most commercial diet plans, along with portion control, there are “eat this, don’t eat that” rules.  Inevitably, the dieter can only stand not eating a favorite food on the “don’t eat” list for so long.  Cravings then lead to overeating and the diet is foregone.

 

Is this sounding familiar to you?

 

This is one of the reasons that I stress to my clients the importance of really understanding the concept of providing yourself with the unconditional permission to eat when hungry what food you desire. It takes the “taboo” label off foods that you would otherwise deem as “bad”.  It eliminates the desire to overeat on these foods and creates room for healthier food options.

 

So, if you are stuck in the diet mindset, try balancing your next meal with healthy wholesome foods plus those that you might deem “not as healthy” but are your favorite. See if you are satisfied with less and let me know in the comment section below.

 

To learn more about becoming an intuitive eater and How to Break Free from the Pain of Dieting and Get the Body You Love Without Feeling Deprived, join me for a Free Webinar on Tuesday September 16,2014 at 8 pm EST. Click here to register for FREE.