Tag Archive for: body trust

Finding Balance with Intuitive Eating

I recently had a client share her success story.  Let’s call her Jessica. Jessica was at a barbecue when chocolate ice cream and homemade chocolate chip cookies were being served. She thought that maybe she would overeat on these desserts because that’s what she’s always done in the past. So she took a small piece of each on her plate.  She ate a few spoonfuls of the ice cream, then a few bites of the cookie, and something that has never happened to her before happened…

She didn’t feel the need to eat more! She was shocked.

She was able to savor each bite using her mindful eating techniques and felt satisfied after only a few bites.

How did she do this you ask?

By using the intuitive eating strategies that I am teaching her, she is learning to move away from the all or nothing way of thinking.  She didn’t feel guilty for indulging in a food she wanted.  She has made peace with food and has reaped the benefits, which is showing up in so many ways in her life.

Had she found herself in this scenario a few months ago before we began working together, the outcome would have been different. The all or nothing thinking is part of a diet mentality and usually leads to overeating, followed by guilt, unhappiness, dieting, restriction, overeating etc.  It’s a vicious cycle.

Intuitive eating is tuning into what your body wants, even if it’s ice cream or a cookie, and giving it what it wants.  If you listen to your body, you won’t feel the need to overeat and have guilt afterwards.  Your body will be happy it can enjoy the foods it wants.

You may be asking yourself, “How do I get myself to this point?”  The answer is to change your mindset.  You have to step away from the diet mentality of restricting certain foods or entire food groups.

The way to make peace with food is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you want. I know, this sounds like an opportunity to eat uncontrollably. And to be honest with you, some people use it as an excuse to do just that. However, that’s not how this process works.

Changing your mindset does not happen overnight. Those who work through the process with the support, encouragement, positive attitude and patience are the ones who will experience what Jessica did. The intuitive eating process can help you transform your relationship with food, where you end the battle with food and your body and achieve great pleasure in eating once again.

Here are 2 steps you can take today to become and intuitive eater and change your mindset:

  1. Commit to saying goodbye to the dieting mindset! It is time to recognize that you can have your cake and eat it too. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can find a balance that works for you!
  2. Start tuning in and listening to your body. Your body gives you signals when it starts to get hungry and full. Tune into these signals to know when and what you should feed your body.  You’ll learn to eat what your body craves without overeating.

I am here to help you embark on this journey and break out of the dieting mindset.

If you’d like further individualized support, just fill out this form at the link below and I’ll share how I can support you on your journey:

 www.TalkWithBonnie.com.

Celebration Dinners, Food Police and Trust

It’s all about TRUST! But in whom?

 

This past week I posted the following “If/Then Question” on my Facebook Page.

 

You are going out to dinner to celebrate your child’s graduation. You have been practicing intuitive eating, but are a little worried about indulging because you are going to your favorite restaurant. You then….

 

A. Remind yourself that intuitive eating is about trusting yourself with your food choices, and you are regaining this trust day-by-day.

 

B. Commit to being mindful while eating and will check-in with your satiety level mid-meal.

 

C. Think to yourself – heck, this is a celebration! I don’t usually get to this restaurant often, I’ll skip lunch so I’m good and hungry for dinner.

 

The answers were varied. For those who have worked with me on their intuitive eating journey, or are in the midst of it, they chose option A or B. For those new to the process or that are finding some challenges along the way, they chose C. And that’s okay, because remember, this is a process and the process takes time and patience, and is judgement-free!

 

The feelings of excitement when going to a new restaurant, trying new foods, or celebrating a milestone can dig up some old diet mentality thoughts.

 

These thoughts may sound like:

  1. I’m going to skip lunch today so I can save my calories or points for dinner.
  2. I won’t eat any carbs during the day, because I want to eat from the bread basket at the restaurant.
  3. I’m finishing what’s on my plate, this food is so delicious I don’t know when I’ll get to eat this food again.
  4. If I weigh more on the scale tomorrow morning, I’ll just cut back my eating for the day and be sure to choose only “healthy” foods.

 

All these statements are the food police speaking, screaming at you unreasonable rules. And in each of these cases, what do you think happens?

 

That’s right! You arrive at the restaurant and sit down to dinner in a ravenous state and more than likely, you end up eating to an overfull state. Then you feel physically uncomfortable, emotionally miserable (guilty, shame), and you follow that with food restriction!

 

Restriction – cutting back on your food intake or choosing only “healthy” foods if the scale is higher the next day – is dieting. It’s the opposite of being intuitive.

 

Your body weight is a measure of the weight of your tissues, which includes your bones, organs, muscle and fat tissue AND the substances that pass through such as water, food and waste. If you weigh more this morning than you did yesterday, it doesn’t mean that you have more fatty tissue today because you ate the chicken parm at last night’s graduation dinner.

 

The food police, however, would like to have you think it IS the reason, and therefore it is shouting rules at you to eat less today, to avoid carbs, and to only choose “healthy” foods.

 

Shout back at the food police by doing these 3 things:

  1. Identify the distorted irrational dieting thought and disarm it.
  2. Recognize that a higher weight this morning may be due to some other reason as your body weight fluctuates day-to-day based on many factors.
  3. Don’t weigh yourself. Throw away the scale and begin to cultivate the trust in your body to make food and nutrition choices that are right for you.

 

It’s all about the TRUST!

 

Need help to learn how to trust yourself, your food choices and your body? I’m an email (or phone call away – 516-486-4569)!

 

How Do I Learn to Trust Again?

It’s not easy. It’s just not easy to trust someone or something that has let you down time and time again.

 

You want to trust, you really do. But you can’t.

 

How do you regain that trust after you’ve been shamed, disappointed, and embarrassed – again!

 

I can be talking about anything here. It could be a relationship with a spouse, partner, friend, parent, teacher and so on.

 

But what I’m really talking about is … your body.

 

Countless women (and some men) have shared with me that they have lost the trust in their bodies to know what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat. This is because for years, they have been following some sort of diet which dictates all things food. They no longer had to make any decisions when it came to what, how much and when to eat. They just followed the rules.

 

Is this you too? Have you been a dieter who was (or maybe still is) a good rule follower, eating what the plan tells you to eat? Even better, you loved when the food was delivered to your door step, no prep even required. Pop it in the oven and walla, dinner is served (and breakfast, lunch and snacks).

 

You may have realized by now that this just does not work. If you’ve started a diet in an effort to lose weight, and you followed the diet, you probably did lose weight. But that weight loss was short lived. You went off the diet, only to regain the weight back, plus more. So, you set out to find another diet and did it again. And again, and again, and again.

 

Each time you regained the weight, you felt shame and embarrassed. You blamed yourself. “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just stick to this diet?” You are feeling shamed that you gained the weight back and shamed in front of your friends and family who now see that you gained the weight back. And you blame yourself and your body.

 

You might want to stop this cycle. If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while, you know that diets don’t work. You might even have contemplated contacting me to learn more about intuitive eating. But it’s scary not to diet anymore, even though the diets have failed you each and every time.

 

Left to your own devices, are you able to choose your own foods, know how much to eat, and when to eat?

 

I say YES! You probably don’t think so…at least not in this moment. This is because you don’t trust your body anymore.

 

Listen, that’s okay. For now. You will learn how to re-gain that trust in your body. I know you will. But there is one thing you must do first. And that is…

 

Be BRAVE!

 

And with this bravery, there are 3 decisions you must make.

  1. Decide that you WANT to learn to trust in your body and your food choices again.

 

  1. Decide that you will NOT CARE what others say to you about your decision to stop dieting.

 

  1. Decide that you BELIEVE that it is possible. What you believe, will happen.

 

Are you ready to be brave? Are you ready to learn to trust again? Contact me here!

 

3 Questions to Consider When Choosing an Intuitive Eating Program

It’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday! This is the day I answer your questions on intuitive eating and/or emotional eating.

 

Today’s question comes from a woman I spoke to on Monday. Let’s call her Pat.

 

Pat contacted me to learn more about my 5 Step Intuitive Eating Program called Freedom to Eat Forever™. You see, she’s been dieting for a long time, has struggled with binge eating and hating her body, and really wants to embrace intuitive eating. But, here’s her question:

 

“I’ve already invested hundreds of dollars in other intuitive eating programs, and I’m still struggling. I’m nervous to commit, even though it sounds like working one-on-one with you is what I need. How do I overcome this worry and make the commitment?”

 

This is a great question and a very valid concern.

 

There’s 3 things I asked her to consider, which I’d like you to consider as well if you have the same question.

 

1. Was it an intuitive eating program, or a diet disguised as intuitive eating?

 

There are many health coaches, holistic nutritionists and self-proclaimed gurus on the internet that are saying they are teaching intuitive eating. Yet, upon deeper investigation, they have hijacked the term intuitive eating and are disguising it in a diet.

 

Case in point: a well-known coach is promoting her program where she teaches you to not diet, but then gives you rules around eating and exercise.

 

Another coach starts you off on the ketogenic diet, but teaches you how to lose weight through mindfulness while on the keto diet.

 

And yet a third coach is telling you not to follow any of the old rules of dieting, but then gives you a whole new list of rules to follow.

 

Huh?

 

Rules are rules, whether they are 50 years old, 10 years old or 2 days old.

 

The idea behind intuitive eating is yes, listening to your body and your inner cues of hunger and fullness, but also to put YOU back in the driver’s seat.

 

Intuitive eating empowers you to trust in yourself again, trust that you can make food choices and exercise decisions for your body that feel right for you. Not that another person feels is best for you.

 

Now don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t benefit from guidance from a professional on nutrition and movement. You can, most everyone can. But the idea is that you get to make the decisions with the gentle, caring support of a professional walking the journey with you.

 

2. Did you have any one-on-one private coaching?

 

Many clients who come to me after having “tried” other intuitive eating programs realize that the missing piece for them was the lack of 1-1 private coaching in other programs. They joined a group program because it was a less expensive route, and while there were group coaching calls, there were no, or very few, 1-1 private coaching sessions. They attended the group calls, but didn’t get to do the deep dive work to uncover the mental blocks and limiting beliefs that were holding them back.

 

Once these women started working with me 1-1, they saw the value in getting the personal help and insight into how their past is affecting their present. That’s when real change happened.

 

The program Pat previously invested in did not have 1-1 coaching, and this made all the difference for her.

 

Did you have the deep dive 1-1 coaching as part of your previous intuitive eating program?

 

3. Are you a self-starter and self-motivator?

 

This is a very important question to ask yourself, and to answer honestly. If you are not a self-starter and don’t do well holding yourself accountable, then that is probably one very big reason why those other programs didn’t work out for you.

 

In the case of Pat, she joined a group program that had modules for her to complete. The problem is she isn’t a self-starter and would push off doing the modules. When she motivated herself enough to sit down and do some of the work, it didn’t last long. Her kids needed her, her husband needed her and she got pushed back down to the bottom of the totem pole.

 

There was no consistency, and this lack of consistency and action kept her stuck where she was.

 

If this sounds like you, that’s okay. Not everyone can ‘go it alone’. The fact that you identify this now helps you to take your next steps.

 

After considering these 3 questions, Pat decided to take a leap of faith and work with me one-on-one so she can finally be at peace with food and her body.

 

Are you ready to take your leap of faith? If yes, just email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com with the subject line: I’m Ready!

 

Best wishes for a happy, healthy and intuitive 2018!

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Diets Rule All Your Life’s Decisions

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday topic is inspired by a client of mine who shared her frustration about some members of her family who are dieting. I will only share the relevant info, as to protect the privacy of her and her family.

 

We are knee deep in December and holiday festivities. My client, let’s call her Jane, has given up dieting 3 months ago when she committed to working with me in my Freedom to Eat Forever™ 5 Step Intuitive Eating Program. She is so happy and so sure she is NEVER going to diet again, and she is enjoying the holiday parties she is attending without fretting about the food that will be served (what a relief for her, can you relate?)

 

So why is she frustrated?

 

Her family holiday party is coming up. She was in charge of hosting this year and she takes pride in planning a fun time for her immediate and extended family, both with delicious food and fun, interactive games. But here’s what happened.

 

She got a call from a family member who basically told her that she would like to host the holiday party this year. Jane asked her why and told her she’s already been planning and prepping. But her relative said that she just really wants to, and to PLEASE let her. Well, Jane felt she had no choice but to say okay. Only later did it occur to Jane why this relative was so insistent.

 

Can you guess? I’ll tell you.

 

This relative, her husband and her adult children are all on a diet. They’ve been losing weight and have been boasting about it all over social media. The diet they are on is quite restrictive, although they’ll tell you it’s a “healthy lifestyle”. Yep, the diet companies have hijacked the words “healthy lifestyle’ and are masking their diet rules under the guise of eating healthfully. And worse yet, the diet company encourages their dieters to pull other people into their web “If I did it, you can too!”.

 

Jane’s family members don’t want to be tempted by food they cannot eat. Yes, I said ‘cannot’ eat because when one is on a diet, they have a list of foods they can and cannot eat. Jane remembers last year’s holiday party when this family was just beginning this diet. They came to the holiday party and were salivating over the food, and were found sneaking bites in the kitchen. They were overheard saying, “it’s okay, we’ll get back on tomorrow’.

 

Oh, so sad, just so sad. Is this how you want to live your life?

 

Do you want your diet to rule your life’s decisions?

 

Decisions such as:

“Do I go with my spouse to his holiday party or not?”

“Should I go with my friends on that cruise?”

“Will I attend that party I was invited to, or make up an excuse why I cannot go?”

“Should I breastfeed my baby? Hmm, I’m drinking these chemically-filled weight loss shakes, so perhaps not.”

 

If you resonate with any of this, it’s time to realize that the diet you are on is RULING YOUR LIFE! You are not living free! You are probably thinking about food 24/7. “What did I eat, what am I eating, what will I eat?”

 

This my friends, is FOOD OBSESSION. Yes, dieting causes food obsession.

 

I’d like to encourage you that you don’t need to rely on any diet. You can trust yourself to make food decisions on your own. I recognize that if you’ve been dieting for a while (and most likely if you are following my work you have been), then you have lost that trust in yourself and your food choices. But with the right support, you can learn to trust yourself again.

 

You know how to eat. You know about proteins, carbs and fats. You know how to balance your plate. I’m not saying there aren’t some things you can learn. I’m sure there are. But you know the basics. You don’t need to be drinking shakes, eating bars or following a diet that doesn’t let you live your life to the fullest.

 

Commit right now to stop the madness. I’ve got your back.

 

Comment below: “I will no longer let a diet rule my life’s decisions”.

 

 

Intuitive Eating Brings Hope!

Intuitive Eating Brings HopeDieting brings despair! Intuitive eating brings hope!

Susan is a client I recently started working with. She has been overweight for most of her life. She has tried diet after diet. Yes, she lost weight, but then she gained it back plus some.

This day was no different. She sat at her desk at work and decided she needed to start Weight Watchers, again, for the umpteenth time. But as she logged into her computer, she realized that there HAS to be another way. Weight Watchers worked for her in the past, but never for long. She always gained the weight back. So, this can’t be her answer.

Susan felt despair.

Susan felt hopeless.

She then set out to search on Google for another answer. And she happened upon my webpage http://DietFreeZone.com

As Susan started reading, she thought this can’t be true. I can really lose weight without dieting? It must be a gimmick.

Yet, something inside Susan told her to download my e-book 5 Steps to a Body You Love Without Dieting, and she did.

Susan immediately started reading it and lightbulb after lightbulb went off.

Wow, she thought. This lady really knows me. She really understands what I am struggling with.

Susan contacted me for a complementary phone session to learn more about breaking free of all the pain dieting has caused her, and changing her relationship to food. She then decided to sign on to work with me.

Susan wants everyone out there reading this to know that INTUITIVE EATING BRINGS HOPE!

Intuitive eating makes total sense! She is amazed why she never heard of this concept before.  Well, that’s because she, and probably you, are immersed in the world of dieting. The diet industry wants to keep you immersed in all the false promises so you can lose weight, only to gain it back and come back to them to go round 2….and round 3, then round 4 etc…

Break this cycle!

Be good to yourself! Tell yourself there IS another way, and that way is to learn how to trust your body to be your guide. Sounds difficult and scary? Yep, I get that. But with the right kind of caring support, you can achieve what Susan is achieving.

If I can be of help to you, just click here and request your complementary Break Free of Dieting Session.