Tag Archive for: body image

5 Ways to Embrace Your Body

We have all been in the position where we’re standing in front of the closet, and although we see numerous clothes, there is nothing that looks appealing. So, you reach in and grab the closest item and just throw it on. Then you realize that outfit doesn’t look good, and the next thing you know you have tried on almost everything in your closet before reluctantly settling on something.

 

When you are uncomfortable with how you look, it is often hard to find clothes that you feel empowered in. Body acceptance is not an easy journey for most people. Even for those who do feel comfortable in their skin, often there will be days when they will go back and forth between how they feel about themselves.

 

How often do you look in the mirror and find yourself criticizing how you look?

 

“If I could just lose ten more pounds, then I would definitely be happier!”

 

This is not uncommon! In fact, several studies have found that 86% of all women are dissatisfied with their bodies and wish to lose weight to “feel better/happier about themselves.”

The Reasons for Body Dissatisfaction 

  • Bullying and teasing
  • Childhood traumas
  • The social media culture—Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok, etc.
  • Other forms of media—magazines, television, computer ads, etc.
  • The culture we live in which is rooted in dieting and weight controlling behaviors to manipulate our bodies to appear a certain way.

In today’s society, many people use size and weight as a definitive element of their identity, personality, and a way of defining their self-worth.

 

For example: 

  • Not purchasing a pair of jeans because they don’t fit in the small size that you want
  • Saying no to a social event because you don’t fit into a certain dress or don’t feel good in your here-and-now body.
  • Using the scale as a way to determine your mood for the day

 

Loving your body and appreciating it takes time. No amount of exercise or dieting will help you achieve that goal. Only when you change your mindset can you truly feel comfortable with yourself.

 

There are some steps that you can take to help learn to love the body that you have.

 

Here Are 5 Ways to Embrace Your Body  

 

1. Acknowledge the Work it’s doing 

Your body has gotten you to the place that you are at today. Through many years of labor and hard work, you have survived and that’s all because of your body. It has even taken you through a pandemic! When you are feeling down on yourself, just try to remember all the wonderful things your body has accomplished thus far.

 

2. Say No to Negative Talk

When you feel yourself about to say or think something mean about yourself, rephrase your thoughts. Instead of focusing on all the negative, think about the positives instead. This also goes for what other people are saying about their bodies or yours.

 

Prioritizing your self-care can help with your perspective and self-talk.

 

3. Incorporate Joyful Movement

This does not mean exercise for weight loss, instead, move your body to help you feel good. Find a movement you enjoy and do it. Exercise releases endorphins, which can elevate your mood and help you see things in a positive light.

 

4. Create a more body positive newsfeed.

Start by doing a deep cleanse of your social media accounts, then fill it with all different body shapes, sizes and colors!

Remember: thin bodies are not the only bodies out there. Filling your newsfeed with all shapes, sizes, and colors will help change your perception of what is “normal” and allow you to learn to accept and love all bodies (even your own!)

Once you’ve rid your social media of all things “perfect” and “unrealistic” watch your “standard of beauty” will quickly change!

 

5.Embrace Intuitive Eating

Say no to dieting and all the empty promises. Understand the underlying reasons why you turn to food for reasons other than hunger, why you eat mindlessly, and commit to taking a different approach to eat. Commit to learning to become an Intuitive Eater, learning to identify gentle hunger and comfortable fullness as your guide to starting and stopping a meal. Learn to cope with your emotions with kindness and not food.

Don’t wait to find the love your body deserves, try to embrace the wonderfulness of you now!

 

Need support? Contact me to set up a free consultation now.

 

The Impact of a Dieting Parent(s) on their Children

It’s not unusual to have at least one parent in the home dieting at any given time. And often, both parents are on the diet bandwagon, sometimes following the same diet, and sometimes vastly different diets.

What message do you think this sends to your children?

Mom and/or dad are eating differently, and they are trying to change their bodies which sends the message that there are good foods and bad foods, and that there must be something wrong with their body if they are trying so hard to change it.

Research shows that children of parents who speak about weight are more likely to have negative feelings about their own bodies and experiment with unhealthy behaviors such as not eating enough, using laxatives, detoxes, cleanses and diet pills.

In one study published in the Journal of American Medical Association Pediatrics, adolescents where more likely to control their weight in unhealthy ways and binge eat if their parents spoke about weight loss in their presence. This was seen in both sons and daughters. However, when parents engaged in conversations that were focused only on healthful eating behaviors, these kids were less likely to diet and use unhealthy weight-control behaviors.

In a second study published in Body Image, parents who spoke about controlling their weight were more likely to raise high schoolers who were dissatisfied with their bodies.

 

Parental Diet Talk

A parent’s “diet talk” and modeling of unhealthy “dieting” behaviors sets the scene for their children to develop a poor relationship with food and their body.

Children are like sponges, they soak up everything they hear and see parents do. You may not think they are noticing what you are doing or saying, but they are. Kids notice everything!

When you look in the mirror and mutter under your breath how your tush looks so big, your child hears this and interprets it as “my tush is big, there must be something wrong with it.”

We, as parents must be VERY careful not to discuss weight, dieting, and labeling of foods  around our children.

 The messages surrounding dieting, weight loss, body image, and food will stay with children FOREVER and impact them for the rest of their life.

6 Side Effects of Parental Dieting on Children

1. Develop Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders

 If you diet in front of your children, they are more likely to restrict their own intake, binge eat, and engage in emotional eating because they saw mom or dad engaging in these behaviors (children are modeling what they see).

One client shared with me that she learned to binge and purge from her dad (and he didn’t even know it). She witnessed him binge eat after dinner most nights of the week, then go into the bathroom and purge. Years later, she is trying to recover from her own eating disorder.

2. Develop a Dieters Mindset

 Children will pick up on messages, phrases or actions they see within the home. If you are displaying “dieting” behaviors, like tracking food, negatively discussing certain foods/food groups, weighing/measuring your foods, and speaking poorly about your body, this will be internalized by the child and kickstart their own “dieters mindset”, or “dieting habits”.

Here’s a common scenario:

Mom/Dad: “I can’t eat that, it has so many carbs! I’ll gain 20 lbs. by the morning!

 

Child: Hears this statement and immediately decides not to eat any carbs because it is now associated with ‘instant weight gain’.

3. Fall into the Toxic Trap of Diet Culture

If children have been surrounded by dieting messages from their parents, they are more likely to fall into the negative, toxic trap that is known as diet culture.

Diet culture is all around us—in advertisements, social media, in the workplace/school, and so much more!

Diet culture conditions use to believe that our self-worth is tied to weight, body size, what we eat, and what we look like.

With strong dieting messages in the home PLUS a world saturated with diet culture, the child will inevitably have a poor relationship with food and a negative body image.

Don’t set your child up for a life of food struggles and body hatred. Embody the habits you desire for your children!

4. Negatively Impact Child’s Weight, Growth and Health

Due to extreme restriction, bingeing, or a combination of the two, children can become significantly under- or over- weight. This can lead to health issues down the line (i.e., nutrition deficiencies, missed milestones, weakened immune system, disease etc.)

5. Create Body Image Issues

Because the child has been hearing mom or dad speak negatively about their body, the child will internalize these messages and in turn also never feel satisfied with their bodies.

Here’s a common scenario:

Mom/Dad: “Ugh, I’m so fat! These jeans don’t fit me like they used to.”

Child: Hears this statement and associates weight gain with feelings of sadness, shame, negativity; also demonizes the idea of a larger body. These thoughts about body image can transcend into adulthood.

6. Cause Mental Health Issues

Dieting is harmful on a physical level and a mental health level. Dieting causes one to feel like a failure, have low self-esteem, depression, and low self-worth. This trickles down into all aspects of life and relationships.

If your children are grown, married, and have children of their own, consider how your dieting habits are impacting your grandchildren when they come to visit.

Make a conscious decision to be more aware of your actions at home and help change the trajectory of your children’s (and grandchildren’s) future relationship with food and their bodies.

 

If you’d like support, just reach out to me and schedule a complementary call at http://TalkWithBonnie.com

 

And join me later today to hear about the dieting mistake that I made and it’s impact on my daughters (and how you can avoid making this same mistake). It’s all happening in my private Facebook Group HERE.

(If you are reading this after April 7, 2021, the replay of today’s live training is in the Facebook Group for you to watch at any time. Click here to join our group.)

Navigating Food and Body Challenges During the Pandemic

Trying to maintain a sense of semblance in these uncertain times can be challenging. I know it is for me. During the day, while I’m working remotely with my clients, my mind and thoughts are one hundred percent focused on supporting my clients. But when the evening falls and I wind down after a long day, I start to feel uneasy. The reports coming in with the latest stats on positive COVID-19 cases and unfortunate deaths sends chills up my spine and my heart and mind fill with worry.

I know I’m not alone. My clients have shared with me how challenging it is for them and I’m sure you feel it too. Being home all day has been bringing up food and body issues for many people. The biggest challenges I’m hearing are:

  • Challenge #1: “I’m finding it difficult to eat on a regular schedule.”
  • Challenge #2: “When I feel anxious or the worry gets too much to bear, I numb out with food. Only after, I feel worse.”
  • Challenge #3: “I find myself looking in the mirror all the time and cringe at what my body looks like. My desire to change my body is all I can think of now that I’m home.”

Here are some strategies you can try for each of these challenges:

Challenge #1: Haphazard eating

Solution: Create a flexible schedule of eating

The most important thing you can do for yourself is to take care of your basic needs, and that includes nourishment. Creating a flexible schedule for when you will eat meals and snacks will help you to fuel your body on a consistent basis.

Note that I said flexible. While I am a big proponent of allowing your body’s hunger signals to guide your eating versus eating by the clock, during times of stress your hunger signals might be blunted. Therefore, having a flexible schedule will allow you to be sure you are fueling yourself even if those signals can’t be relied on right now.

Challenge #2: Numbing out with food

Solution: Pause and determine what you really need

Sometimes it seems as if numbing out with food might be a good solution, so you don’t have to deal with the difficult emotions you are feeling. However, once your binge eating is over, you feel guilty, ashamed, and physically uncomfortable in addition to the original emotions that drove you to the food in the first place.

The best gift you can give yourself in this moment is to PAUSE. Before reaching for the food, hit the pause button and give yourself the space to consider what you are really feeling in that moment. It likely isn’t physical hunger, so what are you truly hungry for? Maybe it’s connection, especially in this time of self-isolation. Maybe it’s a needed rest. The worry of the coronavirus can be exhausting you and the fatigue can be driving you to the food.

Pausing and asking yourself what you are really feeling and what you really need will allow you to take the best care of yourself.

Challenge #3: Body worry

Solution: Appreciate your body as it is now and seek support

This might be asking a lot of you, to appreciate your body as it is right now. I realize that. We live in a culture that tells us the only way to have an acceptable body is to have a thin body. And you’ve been doing whatever you could over the years and decades to achieve that cultural expectation. Maybe you achieved it for a short time, but most likely you didn’t stay that size for long.

It’s not your fault either, contrary to what diet culture tells you. We all have a genetic blueprint of where our natural body size lies. Trying to change this is working against nature. The only thing that’s accomplished is creating a poor body image. This negative body image prevents you from living your life.

Is it easy to heal your body image? No!

Is it possible to heal your body image? Yes!

With the right support and guidance, you can heal. You are fully capable of cultivating a positive body image and learning how to handle difficult body image moments.

Join me and a small group of dedicated women who all want to heal their negative body image.

The Body Image Healing Program™ is a 12-week small group coaching program where you will:

  • Move from body hatred to body neutrality
  • Stop body bashing and body comparisons
  • Define your worth outside of your body
  • Learn how to navigate “bad body image moments” with self-compassion and kindness

To learn more and express your commitment – free interest, just click this LINK.

The investment for the program is now 50% off the regular investment to make it easier for you to get the support you need during the pandemic. The program begins April 20, 2020.

We all need support during this difficult time. Allow me to help you. Click HERE to learn more and express your commitment-free interest in The Body Image Healing Program™.

July 4th Special: How to Make Intuitive Eating Second Nature

July 4th is tomorrow, and that means that summer is in full swing. There is a whole new energy in the air, I just LOVE it!

As you get ready to celebrate Independence Day this July 4th, I have something I’d like to share with you.

Success in intuitive eating isn’t just about eating when hungry and stopping when full.

It’s about making intuitive eating a part of who you are at all levels – your mind, your body and your emotions.

It’s mastering intuitive eating so it becomes second nature.

And for this, you need practice, ongoing support and accountability.

And to celebrate my favorite season, summer, and the July 4th holiday, I have a special invitation for you…

It’s my one and only Summer Special!

For the next 5 days only, you can join my Intuitive Eating Mastery Circle™ at a 50% savings.

Get all the details here.

While training and info are great, what you really need is implementation support. I created Intuitive Eating Mastery Circle™ to give you just that.

It’s truly the most supportive community I’ve ever seen. The members go above and beyond to help one another.

And of course, I’m there guiding you every step of the way — in our private Facebook group, on our monthly group coaching call, during our monthly open office hours and on our private laser coaching calls.

Check it out now and take advantage of this special chance to join us and save 50% (of course you can cancel anytime).

SPECIAL BONUS: Free Body Image Healing LIVE Course

When you join the Intuitive Eating Mastery Circle, you will get access to the Body Image Healing LIVE Course that is happening right inside the membership group, starting Wednesday July 10th.

Here’s what you’ll discover:

  • Get clear on your current body image story
  • Understand how mindfulness and self-compassion are integral to body image healing
  • Cultivate a positive body image using powerful healing strategies

This course is only being offered to Mastery Circle members!

Check it out now and take advantage of this special chance to join us and save 50% (you’ll be grandfathered in at the low rate and can cancel any time you like).

 

Taking Your Kids on Your Intuitive Eating Journey

child-eating-bananaIt is a lot easier to reach your goals when you are working with someone else, right?

 

You can share your intuitive eating journey with someone who looks up to you the most, your child.  Your child can be that someone!

 

As a parent you are a role model for your child. Even if you aren’t aware of it, you can influence your child’s thoughts and behaviors.  So whether you already have kids or are planning to have them in the future, it’s a great idea to model your intuitive eating journey to help instill a healthy relationship with food and feelings of self-worth.

 

You are born an intuitive eater, so chances are your child can help you on your journey as well.

 

Young children…

 

  • Have the ability to listen to their hunger and fullness cues.
  • Will not starve themselves or overeat.
  • Eat slowly, waiting between each bite until they reach for their next forkful.

 

As children age and see family members or the media describe food as “bad”, they may start to move away from eating intuitively.  Their relationship with food and their body may start to change.  If you take them on your intuitive eating journey with you, you may be able to help them continue on as an intuitive eater.

 

Here are 3 ways to help your kids stay intuitive:

 

  1. Banish the “clean your plate before dessert” threat. Like I said before, children are very in tune with their hunger and fullness cues.  If you want them to clean their plate, they will most likely overeat.  If this is a chronic problem with your child, try giving them smaller portions.  If they are still hungry, they will ask for more.

 

  1. Focus on a healthy relationship with food. While on your intuitive eating journey, you learn about the importance of moderation and listening to your body.  If your child sees that you are not afraid to eat certain foods and you stop when you are satisfied rather than stuffed, they will model that behavior.  You will show them there is no such thing as “bad food” or “good food” and they will develop a healthy relationship with food.

 

  1. Show the importance of loving your body. As you’re sitting with your child, talk about what you love about your body, whether it’s physical (“my eyes”), or something your body does for you (“my eyes help me see your beautiful smile”).  By doing this, your child will gain a positive body image and show her own body love.

 

I know showing self-love can be hard to do, especially if you are struggling with it yourself.  So here is an activity you and your child can do together before bedtime:

 

  • Ask your child to tell you what they love about you, or their favorite characteristic about you. Then you tell your child what you love about them, or your favorite characteristic about them.

 

Your intuitive eating journey can become a way to bond with your child.  The two of you can work on your journey together, making it a family affair.

 

So remember, don’t go on this journey alone!  Include your child and teach them about your journey.  You never know, they might teach you a few things too.

 

If you would like more guidance on how to teach mindful eating to your kids, come join my free training Mindful Eating for Families: A Parent Class with Megrette Fletcher, RD.  Sign up for notification on when the next class is available here.

 

 

Are You Ready for Bathing Suit Season?

Swimsuit pictureWhen you think of summer, the beach and the pool, what comes to mind?  Perhaps getting into a bathing suit?  How does this make you feel?  Many of my clients shy away from these summer fun activities because they don’t like the way they look in a bathing suit.  Do you compare yourself to others and criticize your body?

Summer is a time for vacationing, relaxing in the sun (of course with sunblock) and chilling out.  Don’t let your negative thoughts about your body prevent you from enjoying this wonderful time of year.

Let this summer be different!  Look back at the progress you have been making in the last few months learning to love your body.  One of the things I recommended in a previous blog was to look at yourself in the mirror and find at least one thing that you like about your body.  It could be your eyes, ears or wrists.  If it’s hard for you to find a body part you like, think about what your body does for you.  Your legs help you walk and your eyes help you see.    Think about how this journey to becoming an intuitive eater is helping you to love and respect your body.

When you put on a bathing suit this summer, be proud of the accomplishments you have made so far.  Stand proud, hold your head up high and dive into the ocean.

Your turn to take action:  Take a picture of yourself wearing your bathing suit and write five things on the back of the photo that you love about your body!  Please share your photos and/or comments below.

Pop Culture Permeates Body Image

Woman at ocean doing yogaIn 1959 Barbie burst onto the scene, meant to be a symbol for young girls to look up to and hope to be like.  However, throughout the years many mothers and advocates for woman’s issues complained about Barbie’s unrealistic proportions and the body image that it would represent to the impressionable young girls playing with her.  Now images of unrealistic body types are hard to escape in our country.  We are a nation obsessed with celebrity, and sometimes we forget that their lives are far from normal, and so are their body types.

I want to ask you a question.  Are you striving for the“perfect body?”  Are your looks what make you who you are?  I hope the answers to these questions are no.  However for a celebrity, their job and their responsibility to the public is to look good.  That means their days are designed to have hours to workout.  Their meals are delivered to their doorstep or handmade by a private chef.  Not to mention a little thing called airbrushing and spandex which are used to trick consumers when it comes to the magazines you see.  It is hardly fair to hold yourself to an image that is hardly realistic.

There is no person to whom you should be comparing yourself to.  Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another.  When it comes to body image, you are under no obligation look like anybody other than yourself, especially if it means putting yourself at health risk to do it.  You have to respect your body for what is and what it allows you to do.  Maybe your arms seem out of proportion, but those are the arms that are strong enough to lift your children with.  Or perhaps you would like your thighs to be smaller, but it’s those thighs that allow you to participate in your favorite sports or exercise activities.

There is always a positive to be found in the way you’re built.  The way you are built allows you to do the things that you do.  Try to internalize this thought; an improved self-image is the first step towards an improved body image.

Your turn to take action: Stand in front of the mirror with minimal clothing on.  Look at your reflection and ask yourself, “What one thing do I like about my body?”  If you can’t seem to find anything you like, then think about the way your body functions and all the good it’s done for you.  Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Repair Your Relationship with the Mirror

MirrorIt is not always easy.  You’re standing in the dressing room with a new outfit on and the fluorescent lighting hits all the “trouble spots.”  Or you just ate dinner and are changing into pajamas and you catch a glimpse of your stomach in the bedroom mirror and are not especially thrilled with what you see.  Very rarely do people voluntarily stand and look at themselves in the mirror out of the joy of seeing what they look like.  They stand in front of the glass and start picking themselves apart.

 

Does this sound familiar?

 

The first thing to remember is not all mirrors are created equal.  Some mirrors are wider and make you appear wider, just like you might weigh more on one scale over another.  It is simply a piece of glass that shows you a reflection of your appearance.  Yet you see it as a tool that can facilitate a negative dialogue with yourself.

 

In a recent blog post I talked about not being so hard on yourself.  Repairing your relationship with the mirror coincides with all the things mentioned in that post.  It all comes back to loving who you are and speaking positively about yourself.  Instead of hiding from the mirror, embrace it.  After all, it lets you take a look at you, and gives you the opportunity to see the wonderful person that everyone else does.  Mirrors reflect what is seen on the outside, but spend a few seconds longer in front of it and you can start to think about who you are on the inside.

 

Instead of picking yourself apart, look into the mirror and notice parts of your reflection that you are proud of.  Then look harder and see into the person you are looking at.  Think about all the things you handle on a daily basis and be proud of everything you regularly accomplish.  The person you see looking back at you is wonderful, whether or not the fluorescent lighting is flattering or unflattering.  Be happy with the person staring back at you.

 

Spend a full minute staring at yourself in the mirror and come up with five things you love about the person staring back!  I can’t wait to hear what you discover!