3 Ways to Heal Your Relationship with Food

With the New Year upon us, social media is buzzing with resolutions, many revolving around weight loss. Weight loss advertisements flood TV and radio, making it challenging to avoid the pervasive diet culture. If you’re feeling like I am, you might be tired of constant diet discussions and the frustrating cycle of gaining and losing weight associated with traditional dieting.

Maybe you heard me speak about intuitive eating recently at a summit, or you’ve read the Intuitive Eating book by the original authors and have been trying to practice the principles and become an intuitive eater for a few months, maybe even a few years. Intuitive eating sounds logical to you; you realize this can help you heal your relationship with food. However, you still want to lose weight.

There are many intuitive eating and HAES (Health at Every Size) advocates that would say shame on you for wanting to lose weight. Love the body that you have.

I’m not saying shame on you. I want to acknowledge your desire to lose weight. I want to show you compassion for the physical discomfort you may be experiencing. But I also want to encourage you to put weight loss out of your mind as you work on healing your relationship with food. I know this is difficult.

You see, it’s not “weight loss” itself that is problematic, it’s the pursuit of weight loss that is the problem. There’s a big difference here.

You’ve already tried to pursue weight loss via the many diets, restrictions, detoxes, cleanses, food group elimination, and demonizing of foods. All this caused was a disordered relationship with food and your body.

As you begin to change habits, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings around food and your body, you may lose weight, and that’s fine. No one is going to say to you “that’s terrible, how could you have lost weight!”. Your body will do what it needs to do, in its natural way, in its own time. The interesting thing is that you cannot determine that. Your body determines that.

But please understand that the process of intuitive eating is not a weight loss program. Some people may lose weight, some people may gain weight (especially if they started at a low body weight or a place of severe restriction) and some people maintain their weight.

So, how do you get weight loss out of your mind as you heal your relationship with food?

1. Write down your WHY! 

Why do you want to stop fighting with food and your body? Dig down as deep as you need to uncover the true reason. Chances are there is a very meaningful reason why you want to stop the food and body war within yourself. And it’s way bigger than losing a few pounds. Then write your meaningful why on an index card or post-it notes and put it in a place you see it often. Read it daily and re-commit to it each time your mind goes back to weight loss.

2. Identify the BIG 3! 

Instead of constantly thinking about your weight, focus on 3 amazing characteristics that you possess. Unsure what they are? Ask a friend, family member, or partner. I’m sure they will be happy to share with you how kind you are, funny you are, helpful you are etc. Then on a day that you seem to be worrying too much about your weight, switch it off to focus on the BIG 3!

3. Seek Support! 

Every one of us needs support throughout our lives. This includes times like this when you are swimming in new waters. If you haven’t yet joined my Intuitive Eating Support Community, come on over.

In your journey to heal your relationship with food, remember that true well-being goes beyond the number on the scale. Embrace the principles of intuitive eating, focusing on your WHY, celebrating your unique qualities, and seeking the support you need.

Here’s to a healthier and happier you in the New Year and beyond!