2 Steps to Overcome the All or Nothing Mindset

Let me paint a picture for you.

 

The weekend has finally arrived, and you are at your friend’s party. All week you eagerly waited for all the tasty treats that were being served. To prepare, you skipped dessert every day.

 

Finally, the moment arrived, dessert was brought out. You eat a cookie, a piece of chocolate cake, a scoop of ice-cream. You consume so many delicious treats that you begin to feel sick, you ate past the point of fullness.

 

This is a common occurrence for people with an all-or-nothing mindset. This way of thinking is part of a diet mentality and usually leads to overeating, followed by guilt, unhappiness, dieting, restriction, overeating etc.  It’s a vicious cycle.

 

By using intuitive eating strategies, you can learn to move away from the all-or-nothing way of thinking. You can have dessert without feeling guilty for eating a food you wanted. You can make peace with food.

 

Intuitive eating is tuning into what your body wants, even if it’s ice cream or a cookie, and giving it what it wants.  If you listen to your body, you won’t feel the need to overeat and have guilt afterwards. Your body will be happy it can enjoy the foods it wants.

 

You may be asking yourself, “How do I get myself to this point?”

 

The answer is to change your mindset.

 

You must step away from the diet mentality of restricting certain foods or entire food groups.

 

The way to make peace with food is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you want.

 

I know this sounds like an opportunity to eat uncontrollably. And to be honest with you, some people use it as an excuse to do just that.

 

However, that’s not how this process works.

 

Changing your mindset does not happen overnight. Those who work through the process with support, encouragement, positive attitude, and patience are the ones who will experience change.

 

The intuitive eating process can help you transform your relationship with food, where you end the battle with food and your body and achieve great pleasure in eating once again.

 

Here are 2 Steps to Overcome the All or Nothing Mindset:

 

  1. Ditch the Diet

 

Commit to saying goodbye to the dieting mindset! It is time to recognize that you can have your cake and eat it too. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can find a balance that works for you!

 

  1. Listen to Your Body

 

Start tuning in to your body. Your body gives you signals when it starts to get hungry and full. Tune into these signals to know when and what you should feed your body.  You’ll learn to eat what your body craves without overeating.

 

This journey will take time and there will be bumps in the road, but it’s important to remember it is a process.

 

Reach out to others going through the same battles and find support in them.

 

Join me over in my Facebook Group, Intuitive Eating for a Diet Free Life to surround yourself with women on the same journey.

3 Strategies You Can Use to Handle Life’s Twists and Turns

Life happens. Twists and turns appear out of nowhere and even as an intuitive eater, you may lose focus for a bit.

 

The truth is that no matter where you are on your intuitive eating journey, stressful life events are bound to occur. It’s okay to feel stressed or anxious, but you don’t want to lose yourself to life’s surprises. I encourage you to stay focused on your big WHY to keep you pushing through the obstacles.

 

When you feel life weighing you down, you may feel inclined to turn to food. But food is meant to nourish you, not be used as your crutch. There are other things you can do to help you handle life’s twists and turns that don’t involve food. I’m here today to help you find out what those other things are (and they are often different for everyone).

 

I will turn the question around on you for a moment. “What can you do to keep moving forward when life throws you curveballs?”

 

Before you answer that, I want you to really focus on WHY you are on the intuitive eating journey. As you feel like you are falling apart, ask yourself the reason you embarked on your intuitive eating journey. Was it to feel better in your body? Was it to be a good role model for your kids? Was it to stop the diet madness?

 

Chances are your “why” still resonates somewhere within you, even on your darkest days. Let this motivate you. Some days are easier than others but if you keep your “why” in focus, you can navigate the bumps along the way. Instead of letting the tough times discourage you from working to better your health and yourself, use mindfulness to clear your head space and find peace within yourself.

 

Here are 3 strategies you can use to handle life’s twists and turns:

 

  1. Prioritize Your Own Needs

 

Make every day the best it can be by prioritizing your own needs. That may mean making a list of goals, tasks to tackle, or fresh produce to pick up from the grocery store. Each step in the right direction is an important one.

 

You can make the most of each day by scheduling time for your own needs into your daily routine. There is a time for work, a time for taking care of the needs of others, and a time to care for yourself. This includes time to sit down for meals to be engaged and mindful and do nothing but focus on your food.

 

  1. Take Time to Unwind Each Day

 

This can be movement you enjoy, taking a bath, catching the newest episode of your favorite TV show, or talking with a friend. Remember that you do not have to navigate alone. At times life is too much to balance on your own so reach out to friends, coworkers, family, and loved ones for support when you need it. By letting go of pent-up emotions, you will be clearing your mind and allowing more room for mindfulness.

 

You may be thinking “But I don’t have time to relax.” Trust me, I know the feeling. With busy schedules, sometimes it may feel like there is just no time to unwind. Even just taking 15 minutes to vent to a friend or to decompress your thoughts onto paper will benefit your day and your overall goals.

 

  1. Write Down Your Motivation

 

Instead of making excuses as to why you cannot do this or that, put that energy towards focusing on the reasons you embarked on your intuitive eating journey. Write down your motivation and the messages your body is sending you. You will gain clarity and feel motivated to continue along your journey.

 

The truth is life comes at you fast. You cannot go back in time, but you can make the most of your present and future. Homing in on your intuitive eating and mindfulness will help you navigate through life’s obstacles and keep you on track to being the best version of yourself.

 

Always remember, when you are feeling low, there is nowhere to go but up! If you keep your focus and mindfulness, you will find inner peace on even your worst days.

“But You Have to Lose Weight…”

Emily logged onto Zoom for her appointment with me and shared the following:

“I told my mom and best friend that I’ve decided not to diet anymore. They had a shocked look on their faces and said, “but you have to lose weight.”

Have you experienced this too?

You are probably reading my blog because you know that diets have never worked for you and will never! You’ve been searching for a way out of the dieting quicksand, and you think you’ve found it with Intuitive Eating. But you are struggling because no one around you has seen the light like you have.

It’s incredibly challenging when your inner circle is dieting and thinks you should be too. That’s why it’s so important to be a part of a strong community of women who are on the same journey as you are of leaving dieting behind.

3 Ways a Community Can Help

(1) It provides a safe and secure environment where you can share experiences, seek support when necessary, and ask questions, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

(2) It provides an opportunity to connect with others. Each person in the community is striving and growing toward a common goal

(3) It keeps you motivated and accountable. With everyone in the community working toward the same common goal (breaking free of dieting and becoming an Intuitive Eater), it’s easier to stay accountable and motivated because others around you are doing the same! Everyone in the community has similar thoughts, beliefs and values around dieting and diet culture. It helps to know that you are not alone!

Giving Up Dieting is a Foreign Concept

The dominant paradigm in “weight management” or “weight loss” is to eat less and exercise more.

You now know that this is a very flawed paradigm, yet many people are trapped in outdated beliefs despite all the evidence that restriction and dieting are not moving the majority of people toward healthier, happier and more vibrant lives.

Yet, health professionals, physicians, family, friends and more all fuel the “weight loss” or “dieting” paradigm with biased and incorrect information, which allows the beliefs of the paradigm to continue.

Join me for a LIVE training today what you need to make the paradigm shift happen for you.

It’s all happening in my Intuitive Eating for a Diet Free Life Private Facebook Group. If you’re not a member yet, click here to join (it’s free!).

Last Chance to Get Freedom to Eat Forever™

I will be retiring my Freedom to Eat Forever™ Online Intuitive Eating Program at midnight Eastern on August 31st.

This program has helped MANY women and men break free of dieting, reclaim the trust in themselves and live their lives to the fullest (with guilt-free eating)!

And now is the LAST CHANCE for you to EVER get your hands on this program.

Why am I retiring the program you might wonder?

Because it’s going through an overhaul! Several of the Intuitive Eating principles have been updated and the new program will reflect these latest changes.

In addition, I will be adding new lessons so you can go deeper to uncover the root causes of your food and body struggles. I’ve been doing this deeper work with my 1-1 clients and it’s time I brought it to my online program.

You can get the updated program for FREE when you purchase the Freedom to Eat Forever Program now, before August 31st at midnight Eastern.

If you’ve been thinking about getting started on your Intuitive Eating journey but have been sitting on the fence, I would highly recommend you take advantage of this End of Summer Special. The new program (name will be revealed in a few weeks) will be at a MUCH higher investment.

Click HERE below to get your hands on Freedom to Eat Forever™ before it’s taken off the shelves for good.

BONUS: I’ve added a WhatsApp Chat Community to the program so you can get support and your questions answered quickly! You don’t need to do this alone. There are others waiting in the chat to say hello to you!

Plus there are a ton of other bonuses. Learn more HERE!

Don’t know what WhatsApp is? It’s a free app that you download to your phone. You join our group and type away. It’s just like sending a text to your friend, except this goes to your Freedom to Eat Forever family!

YES, I want Freedom to Eat Forever!

 

 

How to Stop Labeling Food as Good and Bad

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday Question and Struggle comes from 2 women in my Diet Free Radiant Me private Facebook group:

Question:

I know choosing certain foods makes me feel healthy and vibrant. I also know there are certain foods that make me feel the opposite, drain my energy and leave me feeling sluggish. How do I approach health in this way without viewing food as good and bad?

Struggle:

Bonnie, I can’t appreciate the body I have now because it isn’t healthy. I know losing the extra fat will help those issues. But I can’t stop labeling food as healthy or unhealthy. I keep reading not to label foods but we all know broccoli is healthier for you than a Hershey bar. I feel like the extra fat will not go away along with all the health problems until I start feeding myself healthier foods, which feels like a diet. I try to eat mostly healthy but it seems once I eat the unhealthier foods that’s all I crave because they do taste better to me. Help!

 

Both the question and struggle you have just read above have something in common, which is why I am addressing both in the same blog today on Intuitive Eating Wednesday.

The commonality is…

 

Food is being labeled. In the first question it’s being classified as “good and bad”, and in the second struggle it’s being labeled “healthy and unhealthy”. This is due to your years of dieting and following rules of foods to eat and those to avoid. The foods to eat are ‘good/healthy for you foods’, meaning they will help you lose weight (or at least not gain weight) and be healthy. The foods to avoid/are unhealthy are ‘bad for you’ foods, meaning they will cause you to gain weight and be unhealthy.

 

As long as you continue to think of food in these terms, you continue to harbor a diet mindset. And as long as you continue to harbor a diet mindset, you will continue to struggle.

 

Download Your Fleshing Our Your ‘Good Foods/Bad Foods’ Worksheet here.

 

Even though intellectually you know you feel more vibrant when you eat food A over food B, if you associate food A as a good/healthy food and food B as a bad/unhealthy food, you will continue to crave food B, depriving yourself of it until you have an emotional trigger and you fall into the “what the heck” mode. You then overeat food B, perhaps even to the point of bingeing, followed by guilt, shame, and hopelessness.

 

It IS possible to shift your mindset away from labeling foods and out of a dieter’s mindset. However, this must be done without consideration of the nutritional value of the foods otherwise you are still thinking in terms of good/bad, healthy/unhealthy which will keep you stuck in the diet food rule trap.

 

This is the very reason that I don’t teach nutrition to my intuitive eating clients until Step 5 of my 5 Step Intuitive Eating Program. If we start the process of learning how to nourish your body, yet you have a diet mentality, all the nutrition conversation we have about foods that make you feel healthy and vibrant is heard by you as more diet rules (good/bad, healthy/unhealthy).

 

Make sense?

 

Let’s discuss this further on today’s Facebook LIVE at 5:30 pm EST (note the time change!)

 

In the meantime, grab this freebie to help you understand your good food/bad food mindset: Fleshing Our Your ‘Good Foods/Bad Foods’ Worksheet.