unconditional permission to eat Archives - Diet Free Radiant Me | Intuitive Eating | Emotional Eating

Unconditional Permission to Snack

As an intuitive eater, it’s all about giving yourself unconditional permission to eat but… are you actually giving yourself unconditional permission to snack as well?

Snacks are an important source of energy and nutrients and can help your body in a lot of different ways—keeping your blood sugar steady, preventing you from having mood swings or even burning out after a long day.

For those exiting the diet world, snacking in between meals was once something deemed wrong—but not with intuitive eating.

There is nothing wrong with snacking!

If you’ve denied yourself snacks for a long time, or just simply don’t know where to start, you may be wondering—what the heck do I eat between my meals to satisfy by desires and keep my hunger at bay?

In the world of Intuitive Eating, snacks don’t have to be fancy or meet any sort of requirements to be considered “a snack”—in fact, a snack is whatever you want it to be.

For example:

Leftovers from the night before
A bag of trail mix
A bowl of cereal
A scoop of ice cream

YES! These are all snacks!

Whatever your body is desiring—whether that’s something salty, sweet, light or heavy…there is no judgement on if it’s a snack or not.

If it’s fueling your hunger needs, and leaving you satisfied, that’s all that matters!

If snacking is something new to you, or your stuck on what to try, here are some snack ideas based on what YOUR body is telling you:

Sweet Snacks

Smoothies
Oatmeal raisin cookies
Banana nut muffin
Yogurt with crunchy granola
Toast with nut butter, or fruit spread
Fresh, canned, dried fruit
Chocolate chips

Savory Snacks

Dips (like hummus, tzatziki, bean dip, guacamole) with crackers, chips, or veggies
Toast with hummus spread, or avocado
Cut vegetables like carrots, cucumber, bell peppers, or broccoli florets
Cheese and crackers
Hard boiled eggs with salt + pepper
Tortilla chips (or any kind of chips)
Nuts and seeds

Salty Snacks

Popcorn
Homemade potato chips
Homemade French fries
Olives
Cheese dip with crackers
Salted roasted chicpeas
Trail mix

For more information on snacking as an Intuitive Eater, watch my latest video upload at Bonnie.Tube.

3 Steps to Making Peace with Food

Do you find yourself constantly at war with your food? Are you ready to throw in the towel and finally make peace with food but not sure where to start?

The key to ending the battle with food is by giving yourself unconditional permission to eat.

This concept may seem totally unreachable for you if you’ve been dieting for years. I bet that for as long as you can remember, you’ve been telling yourself what foods you “can” and “cannot” eat, labeling foods as “good” or “bad”, “healthy” or “unhealthy” and depriving yourself from the joy of eating.

Once the deprivation gets to a point where you can’t handle it anymore, you finally “give in” to your forbidden food and eat with much intensity—leaving you feeling shame and guilt.

By granting yourself unconditional permission to eat, these thoughts, feelings and actions can go away! But how do you start?

3 Steps to Making Peace with Food

(1) Create an inventory of foods. Make a list of foods that you consider your “forbidden” foods, or foods you often restrict. Rank them from scariest to least scary.

(2) Plan a time to try. After creating your list, try incorporating at least one of the foods into your eating world. For best results, try the food in a calm environment and at a time when you are not at a level of primal hunger.

(3) Make note of how you feel. Take notes on your experience!

Before you begin eating, make note of—how does the food look on the plate? How does the food smell? What do you think it will taste like? Does the appearance meet your expectation?

While you’re eating—how does the food taste? Do you find yourself enjoying it like you normally do? Does it meet your expectations? What surprises you about the food?

After the meal, reflect on your overall experience—how do you feel now? Was the experience as “scary” as you thought? Do you think you could try another food at another time? What do you think of the food now?

I know this isn’t so easy. Please reach out here if you’d like me to support you through the food peace process.

3 Tips to Enjoy Halloween Without Food Fear

Halloween is an exciting time filled with creative costumes and of course tons of Halloween treats and candy. There’s fun for everyone… well mostly everyone!

For some, Halloween (and other holidays) can be a time of worry, nerves and anxiety.

Why? Because most holidays this time of year revolve around one thing—FOOD.

Holidays that revolve around food can be a time of worry for many reasons. Perhaps you have a poor or tumultuous relationship with food. Or, you lack the confidence and trust in yourself to be able to navigate meals or food choices, such as special treats, that are relevant to the holiday, like candy on Halloween.

Many people newly entering their Intuitive Eating journey, or even seasoned veterans, can feel a little at a crossroads around the holiday time.

Can I still eat intuitively during Halloween? What about all the candy and treats? How will I handle it?

The answer to this question is YES! You can still eat intuitively on Halloween (and during any holiday – more on that in the next month.)

3 Helpful Tips for Enjoying Halloween Without Food Fear

1.Focus on what’s important.

The holidays can make it feel like the main focus is all on the food (or the foods you feel you “can’t” eat). Although Halloween does involve sweet treats and lots of candy—there is so much more to it! Think of the fun costumes, haunted houses, watching scary movies, and carving pumpkins. Remember: the fun part of the holiday does not have to revolve around food—it’s all about the people and the experiences you share together!

2.Reclaim the joy.

Being stuck in the diet mentality can rob you of all the joy and happiness around the holiday season. Don’t let the fear, nerves and anxiety around food take away from the fun Halloween (or any holiday) has to offer. Focus on the aspects of Halloween that bring you joy!

Go to that costume party, or go trick or treating with your kids and neighbors. Enjoy the apple cider or eat that extra piece of candy. Let yourself have fun without feeling judgement or shame.

3.Enjoy the candy and eat what you please!

Giving yourself unconditional permission to eat what you desire leaves you feeling satisfied, not overfull. Allow yourself to eat the candy without feeling guilty. You may just find that giving yourself this permission actually helps you to eat less than if you promised yourself you wouldn’t touch it and ended up breaking that promise to yourself.

Remember: you CAN enjoy Halloween candy without guilt!

Want to dive into the Intuitive Eating principles and learn how to integrate them into your Halloween celebration this year?

Join me on YouTube or in my free Facebook Group for a LIVE training today at 12:15 pm EST.

If you missed the live training, just head to YouTube and watch the replay!

I’ve Tried Intuitive Eating, and It Didn’t Work

Something I hear quite often is “Bonnie, I’ve tried Intuitive Eating before and it didn’t work for me.”

I’m wondering if this is something you’ve said before or think now. You gave it a go but didn’t end up finding peace with food and your body.

You realize that you were born an Intuitive Eater, and you wonder why you still can’t find food freedom. You feel stuck.

I bet that you love the concept of Intuitive Eating and even wonder why you haven’t heard about it before you did. It’s the best kept secret! But you just wish that it would “work” for you!

If you’ve tried Intuitive Eating and you are thinking that it just didn’t work, maybe you are facing some common roadblocks.

3 Common Roadblocks

There are a few common reasons why your past experience with Intuitive Eating just didn’t work.

You were focused on weight loss and caught up in diet culture.
You are not giving yourself full unconditional permission to eat the foods you enjoy.
You aren’t truly focusing on Intuitive Eating.

Stuck on Weight Loss and Caught Up in Diet Culture

I get it. You’ve been focused on the scale for 5, 10, 20, maybe even 40 or more years. It’s not your fault. It’s the message that surrounds us all day, every day.

The struggle with weight loss and constantly being obsessed with the scale is a difficult one to shake. Diet culture tells you that to be worthy, you need to be “skinny”.

Here’s some questions to ponder:

What brought me to Intuitive Eating in the first place?
What do I fear about weight gain?
What are my fears of weight gain based on?
What does weight loss/gain mean to me?
If others did not make comments or care about my weight, how would I feel about my body?

Bonus Tip: Set a daily reminder and ask yourself “is my mind on weight today and how is it impacting my food choices.”

Afraid to Give Unconditional Permission to Eat

Before you began your Intuitive Eating journey, more than likely you’ve had foods that you considered “forbidden”. You might still be feeling anxious around certain foods and having a hard time letting go of food labels and eating these foods.

Again, it’s understandable, so be gentle with yourself through the process.

Here’s some questions to ponder:

Are you allowing yourself to eat the foods you want?
Who are you with when you are eating? Are you afraid of judgement?
Are you eating the food, but have guilt?

You’re Not Focused on Intuitive Eating

You began this journey to ultimately become an Intuitive Eater however, you’re just not focused on the journey. It all sounds great, the idea of having peace with food and total food freedom. But you aren’t really doing the work.

Truth is, it’s not an easy journey. I will never tell a client that it’s easy to recover from dieting and diet culture. But the work you put in now will pay off later.

Bonus tip: Put the same effort into healing from dieting that you’ve put into your dieting years.

Which roadblock are you bumping into? Let me know in the comments below.

Resource: Here’s a resource for you to begin your Intuitive Eating journey with a step-by-step approach.

4 Intuitive Eating Strategies for Summer Vacation

Summer is my favorite time of year. But for many women I speak to, the thought of summer vacation brings them anxiety and stress about how family trips, outings and days at the beach will affect their intuitive eating journey.

Do you feel the same?

These feelings creep up because of your past (or lingering) diet mentality. You’ve always dieted before vacation so that you can “splurge” while on vacation. Then you come home only to feel guilty about “blowing it again”.

This behavior starts the diet rollercoaster all over again.

Let’s make sure the diet mentality stays quiet as you plan ahead for the most rewarding intuitive summer yet.

Here are 4 strategies to help you navigate your intuitive eating journey during your summer get-away.

1. Shut down your inner critic: You know that voice that I’m talking about. The one that is telling you that you have to lose 10 pounds before you put on a swimsuit. If you listen to this voice, she will push you back into diet mentality and onto the latest quick fix, which will keep you riding the dieting roller coaster.

What to do: when your inner critic starts speaking, pause, acknowledge her presence, thank her for trying to protect you but let her know that you no longer need protection. You are doing just fine and shoo her away….

….and then go shopping for new bathing suits that make you feel like a million bucks!

2. Stay tuned in and aware: Mindless snacking is easy to do while vacationing if you are not staying present. There is often less structure to the day, no routine and you may find yourself grazing instead of eating a meal. This is easy to do if you are lying on the beach with friends passing around snacks or walking the streets and trying the local fare.

What to do: Make a commitment to yourself to stay fully present, pay attention and have an awareness of whether you’re hungry or not before you dig into the snacks.

3. Be prepared to honor your hunger. Whether you are sitting at the pool, lying on the beach, in an amusement park or on a full day tour, you are going to get hungry at some point. If you aren’t prepared and you get over hungry, then it’ll be more difficult to make choices that honor your health when you finally get to your next meal.

What to do: Be prepared and have snacks with you so you don’t have to wing it. Remember, one of the principles of intuitive eating is to honor your hunger. If you wait too long, you tend to not choose the most healthful choices and you will likely eat beyond comfortable fullness, which never feels good!

4. Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. It’s very common for a recovering dieter to fall back into the mindset of “it’s vacation, I’ll get back on my plan when I get home.” This is very damaging and can undo many months of hard work on your intuitive eating journey. I recognize that some vacation resorts are all-inclusive which means that all the food and beverages (including alcohol) is included in what you’re paying for the hotel. It’s very tempting to just eat and eat and eat to “get your money’s worth”.

What to do: By giving yourself unconditional permission to eat when you’re hungry, you will be less tempted to eat beyond comfortable fullness because you know you can eat this food again, whether it’s later that day, the next day or next week. It’s when you think this is your last opportunity to eat this food that not respecting your fullness is more challenging.

We all need a vacation and time away from our everyday work and chores. This is a time to strengthen your intuitive eating journey. You can do it!

If you’re ready to get individualized help on your intuitive eating journey, just go to www.TalkWithBonnie.com and schedule a complementary call with me.

3 Reasons Why You Don’t Stop Eating (and What to Do About it)

You’ve decided to give up dieting (yay!) and you’ve been working on making peace with food. You’re doing a great job at giving yourself unconditional permission to eat and you are truly enjoying your meals.

All this sounds amazing, but you are facing a dilemma. You’re enjoying your meals so much that you don’t want to stop when you recognize fullness, you want to keep eating. This is causing you to doubt your ability to become an intuitive eater.

First, let me assure you that this is a “normal” part of the process. Be gentle with yourself as you reacquaint yourself with your body and the foods you haven’t eaten for a long time.

Here are 3 reasons why you don’t want to stop eating, and what you can do about it:

You haven’t truly given yourself unconditional permission to eat that food. Here’s the thing…if you don’t really believe that you can eat this food again whenever you want it, it will be more difficult to stop when you recognize fullness.

What to do: work on giving yourself emotional/mental permission to eat this food in addition to the physical permission.

You are checked-out during mealtime. If you are eating with distraction (phone, newspaper, T.V etc.), you are not fully paying attention to your meal and are missing the signals of comfortable fullness. Now, suddenly you are overfull.

What to do: Put away all distractions. I know it’s challenging to sit and just eat, especially if you’re so used to multi-tasking through your meal. But you deserve better than that, and so does your body.

You are eating to numb your feelings. If you are used to coping with difficult emotions by turning to food, then consider whether you are trying to stuff down those emotions, so you don’t have to feel them.

What to do: Pause and ask yourself “am I still hungry?”. If your honest answer is no, then ask yourself what you are truly feeling and what do you need to help manage those feelings without food.

Your intuitive eating journey is not a linear path, it is a process that has twists and turns.

Each twist and turn is a learning experience for you. Remember to be kind and gentle to yourself as you relearn how to trust yourself, your body and your food choices. You’ve got this!

Can I help in any way? If so, just email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com.

I’m Eating Unconditionally but Going Overboard on Sweets. Help!

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday Question comes from a woman in my Diet Free Radiant Me intuitive eating support community.

The question is:

Question:

“When I give myself unconditional permission to eat the foods I want, all I eat are carbs and sweets, and I eat too many of them!! I’m worried that if I eat intuitively, I will only eat carbs and I will gain weight.”

I understand this concern, because I hear it from many people, both clients who are just starting the intuitive eating journey and those in my private intuitive eating support group who are contemplating the journey (If you are not yet a part of our group, join HERE for free).

It makes sense. You’ve been restricting carbs and sweets for years, maybe even decades (except when you are bingeing). Your mind has been programmed to think that carbs and sweets are “bad” for you and that you are a “bad” person if you eat them. So, in an effort to be “good”, you restrict them to the best of your ability. Until you can’t resist any longer and you make a deal with yourself – “I’ll only have one”, which leads to many or the whole box. Then you promise to NEVER eat them again.

So when the idea of intuitive eating was presented to you with the concept of “give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you desire when you are hungry”, this sounded too good to be true. But who are you to argue. You jump right in. And now you find yourself all the way at the other extreme of ‘carb land’ eating and eating and eating with a fear that you will now gain weight.

There are 3 points I’d like to make here to help you be at peace with ‘unconditional permission to eat”.

1. Whenever you restrict something all the way in one direction (i.e. chocolate) and then you release that restriction, it is going to boomerang all the way to the other direction. This means if you’ve restricted chocolate or pizza and haven’t had it in years, and now you release that restriction and allow yourself to eat it, you are likely going to eat a lot of it because you haven’t had it in so long. It’s like a pendulum, when pulled in one direction and then you let it go, it swings all the way to the opposite end.

Or, like a seesaw (did you play on a seesaw when you were a kid? I did!). Visualize restriction and deprivation at the highest point (that’s you sitting on the seesaw up in the air!). Then you let the restriction go all at once, bam, the seesaw hits the ground (and your bottom took a big hit!)

This is absolutely ‘normal’. This won’t last forever. You will return to a middle ground after a while. At some point you will say to yourself “okay, tastes nice but I don’t feel the need to have it every day anymore. I can have it any time I desire.”

2. Part of becoming attuned to your inner body wisdom means being mindful of how you feel while eating and after eating certain foods. So pay attention to how you feel when you are eating an overabundance of sweets. Do you feel energized, sluggish, low energy, tired? Do you have indigestion, bloat etc. You will find that after a while your body will tell you what it wants, and often that is lighter foods because it makes you feel so much better.

3. When you allow all foods into your world again, you will begin to identify your true food preferences. You may think you cannot live without those chocolate kisses, but now that you aren’t restricting them, you find that they taste like cheap chocolate. If you are going to eat chocolate, you want the expensive Godiva chocolate (I have a story about this which I’ll save for another time!)

This all might sound logical to you, right? So, why are you still scared?

Here are several reasons, along with solutions.

The solutions include the freebie gift downloads I’ve created for you over the last 3 weeks of Intuitive Eating Wednesdays.

1. Intellectually you understand all this. But your inner voices are still shouting diet food rules at you. This is because you still possess a diet mentality and wonder if willpower will help you eat the sweets ‘in moderation’.

Solution: There is no willpower required in intuitive eating. Download Your 3 Step Plan to Shift Out of Diet Mentality and the Willpower Trap here.

2. It’s not about the food at all. It’s about the WHY you are eating.

Solution: Learn what emotions are driving your eating and download the Emotional Eating Inventory Worksheet here.

3. You are still labeling food as “good” and “bad”, “healthy” and “unhealthy”.

Solution: Reprogram your ‘good food/bad food’ mindset and download the Fleshing Out Your ‘Good Foods/Bad Foods’ Worksheet here.

Let’s discuss this further on today’s Facebook LIVE at 5:30 pm EST on my Facebook business page HERE. Go ahead and LIKE the page now so you get notification when I go live.

Want to talk? Just go to http://TalkWithBonnie.com, answer a few short questions and we will set up a time to chat.

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