Tag Archive for: pressure feeders

Keep Your Nose Out of My Plate

Veggie pizza plateWhy is it that some people need to know what you are eating, and have opinions on what is best for you?

 

I was at a wedding the other night. When it came time for the dinner, I asked the waiter for a vegetarian plate. I don’t prefer chicken or meat, and I usually ask for the vegetarian option. Not a problem. Yet, when my dinner plate came to the table, all eyes were on it. “What do you have there?” “Why did you order vegetarian? You don’t eat meat?”

 

I don’t need to get into conversation with anyone about my food preferences or what I eat, unless of course I want to. But most of the time it is not welcomed.

 

Do you have people in your life that stick their nose into your plate? Perhaps they are offering you advice on what you should or should not eat to lose weight, lower your cholesterol or to have more energy? Even worse, have you heard the dreaded words “Should you be eating THAT?”

 

I call these people boundary invaders. They are invading your private personal space. They have NO IDEA what is right for you, what you inner signals are telling you, what your taste preferences are. They need to keep their noses in their own plates.

 

Here’s how to deal with these people:

Tell them, ever so politely, that you are in charge of your decisions as to what to eat and what is right for you. Respectfully ask them to mind their own business and look in their own plate.

 

As for me, I politely answered “Vegetarian is my preference this evening. Enjoy your meal.”

 

End of story.

 

Your turn to take action: Do you have a story to share of someone who had their nose in your plate? Share below.

 

 

5 Ways to Handle Food Pushers

Hand Stops CakeYou’ve probably experienced what I am about to talk about.

 

There you are at a friend’s home for dinner. It’s dessert time and she brings out a homemade apple pie. You left room for dessert, but you truly don’t feel like having apple pie. You much prefer to have the fresh berries with a dollop of whipped topping.

 

Your friend says “here, have a piece of apple pie”. And, you say, “no, thank you”. And she says “oh come on. I baked it just for you. One bite won’t kill you”. You say, “okay, I’ll have a small slice”.

 

Later that night, you are upset with yourself. Why did you give in and have that apple pie. You didn’t even enjoy it. You really wanted the fresh berries.

 

We call these people food pushers or pressure feeders. Why do they do what they do? And, what is the best way to deal with them?

 

I answer these questions in this week’s episode of The Diet Free Zone Show™.

 

Just click the image below to watch now.

Food Pushers

 

 

 

 

 

 

After watching the video, please share your food pusher experiences with me in the comment below.

 

No Thank You Miss Food Pusher

Hand Stops CakeAround this time of year with the holidays of Passover and Easter just around the corner, it is a good time to talk about a category of people I like to call “food pushers.”  These people mean well, but they have a tendency to start interfering with the hunger and fullness cues you have been working to develop.  To help explain, I am going to tell you a story one of my previous employees who has been on her own mindful eating journey told me recently.

 

Lucy* had struggled with cyclic weight gain throughout college and it wasn’t until she started studying nutrition that she began to realize it is not about diets, but about living a healthy lifestyle.  The more she started practicing intuitive eating principles, the more she stopped worrying about her weight, and was happy with her health.  The problem was, Lucy’s mom had her own hang-ups when it came to body image that she would sometimes project on her.  If Lucy appeared thinner to her mom, her mom would be more agreeable to offering her dessert, or encouraging her to take seconds at meals.  But when she felt like Lucy was going back to her “heavier” weight, she would make comments like “Are you really that hungry? Do you need to eat more?”

 

While this frustrated Lucy, the more she listened to her own intuitive eating voice the less she cared about what other people thought about the quality and quantity of the foods she decided to eat.  Recently she was shopping with her mom and sister and they spotted a candy that is only around during holiday time.  Lucy and her sister purchased one and split it.  Her mom said, “Did you need to eat that candy?” As she began to reply she realized there was no need for justification.  There was nothing wrong with her eating that candy, it was not mindless nor was it in excess so she simply said, “yes” and everyone moved on.  No food pushing (or pulling) away—just Lucy “trusting her gut” (pun intended!)

 

You might find that these people in your family, especially those you see only during the holidays, are the first to comment about your appearance and your eating habits.  They typically have a tendency to comment if they feel you did not eat enough and try to guilt you into taking more food.  There is no justification required for how much or how little you choose to eat.  You know what will satisfy you and you are in charge.  If you are afraid of hurting a family members feeling for not trying something special they made, simply ask for the recipe and say “thanks for the recipe, I can’t wait to make it!”

 

Family members sometimes have no filter.  Usually the things they say to you regarding your personal eating habits occur because they are unhappy with their own.  Perhaps this holiday season will be a time when food pushers turn into mindful eating converts when they see how well it is working for you.  And hey! If they need some guidance you know where to find me.

 

Your turn to take action: Recall a time a food pusher got involved in your decision about what and how much to eat.  What are some ways you could have stayed true to your own mindful eating needs instead of being swayed by them?

*Name changed