Tag Archive for: intuitive eating support

When the Diet Mentality Creeps Back

The diet mentality is sneaky. If you’ve committed to giving up dieting and are working through the process of intuitive eating, I’m so happy for you. But you might have noticed something that’s disturbing – the way the diet mentality and food police show up when you least expect it.

As a person who is no longer dieting, you may not realize that at times, you are actually still dieting. This is called pseudo, or unconscious dieting. You may not think you are dieting, but in actuality, your dieting thoughts translate into dieting behaviors.

Examples of Pseudo Dieting

  1. You mentally track how many calories or carbs you are eating per day.
  2. You make a decision to buy or eat a certain food based on the calories it contains.
  3. You don’t eat past _______ time even if you are hungry.
  4. You feel badly because you ate ___________.
  5. You have a list of 10 or so foods that you feel safe eating without a worry of overeating.
  6. You feel hungry now, but just ate 1 ½ hours ago, so you drink water instead of eating (“how can I be hungry?”)
  7. You only eat carbs in the early part of the day, rarely or never with dinner.
  8. You eat dinner before you go to a wedding.
  9. You eat a light lunch because you ate a larger breakfast.
  10. You avoid gluten, just because.

There may also be certain situations in your life that trigger your diet mentality. These may be new experiences that make you feel uncomfortable, unsure of your place in the world, or bring up uncomfortable emotions.

Examples of Life Situations that Trigger Diet Mentality

  1. Moving to a new community where you don’t know anyone.
  2. Starting a new job.
  3. Separating from your spouse or getting a divorce.
  4. Becoming a mom for the first time.
  5. Becoming a grandma for the first time.
  6. Losing a loved one.
  7. Getting fired from your job.
  8. Marrying off your first child.
  9. Retiring after decades of working.
  10. Dealing with a troubled family member.

All these situations point to new phases in your life, new experiences or challenging times in which you haven’t yet had to learn coping strategies. So, you fall back into diet mentality and try to control your food, since that’s been so familiar to you for so many years.

Be Gentle with Yourself

When the diet mentality rears it’s ugly head, please be gentle with yourself. If you allow your inner critical voice to bash yourself, telling you that you’ll never “succeed” at intuitive eating, you will harm yourself more than help yourself because this will be your entryway back into the dieting world.

I once had a client who told me that if she gains even ¼ pound, she talks harshly to herself because that’ll get her to “be better”.

On the contrary, this type of talk causes you to feel beat up, abused and running right back onto the diet treadmill.

Instead, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can at this very moment. And, the fact that you have recognized the sneaky diet mentality is actually a WIN! The more you call out these diet-y thoughts, the sooner you will continue to recognize them before they do damage and be able to shoo them away.

Support and Guidance

In order to handle these curve balls that life throws your way, it’s important to have support! That support can come in any variety of ways from an accountability partner, online support group or a private coach.

End of Summer Special on Intuitive Eating Support

Take advantage of my End of Summer Special and grab 50-75% off my most popular intuitive eating programs. Choose one or both, whatever feels right for you.

Check it out here. But hurry, this offer expires on Monday, September 2, 2019 at midnight Eastern.

Intuitive Eating: I Don’t Know Where to Start

It’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday when I answer your questions and troubleshoot your challenges around intuitive eating and emotional eating.

 

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday Question comes from Sandy, and it is:

“Bonnie, I have decided not to start a diet in the New Year! And while I’m excited about this, I just don’t know where to begin my intuitive eating journey. I have the original Intuitive Eating book, which I’ve read twice, but I just feel overwhelmed. Can you help me?”

 

Yes, of course, thank you Sandy for writing in to me.

 

As I started to put together some steps for Sandy, I thought about you.

 

Are you in the same place as Sandy?

 

Have you historically started a new diet or “healthy way of life” (a.k.a. diet) every January 1st?

 

Have you decided that this year it will be different….no more dieting, but you don’t know where to start your intuitive eating journey?

 

First, let me congratulate you for making the commitment to yourself to not diet in 2018! That is huge! I realize that it might have been a difficult decision with all the diet ads and marketing of the ‘right’ way to eat and exercise to shrink or sculpt your body (into something that is not sustainable anyway)!

 

Second, I feel your overwhelm. There is so much information on the internet about how “to do” intuitive eating, but often these suggestions contradict one another.

 

Most of my clients that finally reach out to me for help have already dabbled in intuitive eating. That dabbling can look like a few things:

  1. They’ve read the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elsye Resch.
  2. They’ve taken an online course in intuitive eating.
  3. They’ve been receiving support in the myriad of free private Facebook groups that offer intuitive eating support (by the way, if you’re not a member of my group yet, click here).

 

So the question is, with all this ‘dabbling’, why are you still feeling overwhelmed and questioning “where do I start”?

 

I believe the answer lies in the following reasons:

  1. You’ve read the intuitive eating book, but are having trouble implementing the principles because while reading the book helps you become familiar with intuitive eating, for most people (I’m not saying all people, but most people), they need more structure and coaching to help implement the principles into their daily life. Is this you too?

 

  1. You’ve taken an online course but admittedly didn’t show up for yourself by taking appropriate action. Or, the course lacked the private coaching that you really need to take this to the next level. Or, the course was marketed as an intuitive eating course, but in fact once you got into it, it was really dieting.

 

  1. You’re a member of a number of free Facebook groups but you aren’t receiving individualized coaching by certified intuitive eating counselors in these settings, nor should they be giving you coaching for free. This would be a disservice to you and to their clients who have invested in themselves. The free groups can only take you so far.

 

So what’s your next ‘first’ step?

 

Grab your freebie here: 5 Steps to a Body You Love Without Dieting. This will give you the step-by-step approach I take my clients through.

 

Then, if you want me to walk you through this step-by-step journey, contact me here.

 

Food Deprivation Leading to Rebound Eating

Overindulging in a food item that you restrict is common if you are a chronic dieter. This is called deprivation backlash-rebound eating.

 

Here’s a common scenario: you deprive yourself of a certain food, such as your beloved chocolate because you are on a diet and you are not allowed to have chocolate, right? Well an old time friend comes to visit and brings you a box of chocolates. You put it away vowing you will not open it. A family member spots the chocolate, opens the box and now what do you do? Hmmm, I’ll just have one, really only one. But before you turn around, you have more than one, and at this point you might as well finish the box because you promise yourself you won’t have chocolate again. You truly believe that you won’t. Yet, you now feel guilty and as a punishment you skip dinner only to find yourself bingeing into the evening.

The above scenario is one example of the backlash that happens when you deprive yourself of a food you love. You rebound by eating, and overeating.

 

There are many different forms of rebound eating.

 

Have you ever engaged in The Last Supper eating? I have had many clients tell me that they knew they were coming to see me on Monday (or whatever day their appointment was on) and so the day before they overindulged on all the foods they thought they would no longer be allowed to eat….the foods that they thought would be off limits.

 

Listen, eating shouldn’t be this difficult. It’s time for you to make peace with food so you can once and for all stop the dieting cycle.

 

Need help? Click here to schedule a time to chat.

 

 

Your turn to take action: Tell me about a time that you engaged in rebound eating or The Last Supper. Share your stories in the comments section below.