3 Strategies to Turn Self-Hate into Self-Love

In today’s world, it’s easy to internalize the negative messages we’re constantly bombarded with by the media and society. With social media’s rise over the past decade, we see a never-ending stream of highly edited, filtered images that create impossible beauty standards. Comparing ourselves to these unrealistic portrayals often leaves us feeling inadequate, discouraged, and unhappy with our own appearance.

In this environment, practicing self-love can feel challenging. To me, self-love means caring for yourself in a way that prioritizes your needs, fosters self-compassion, and values who you are on the inside—not just how you look on the outside. It’s a mindset that encourages recognizing your self-worth beyond appearance, despite societal pressures we’ve all faced since childhood to look a certain way.

You may wonder, “How do I embrace self-love when I’ve spent years being told that my worth is tied to my size or how I look?”

It begins by confronting and questioning these long-held beliefs. By gradually shifting the focus away from outward appearance and toward nurturing your inner self, you can begin to cultivate true self-compassion.

If you’re unsure how to start this journey, here are 3 strategies that can help transform self-criticism into self-love:

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1. Focus on Self-esteem boosters

Make a list of the accomplishments you’ve had in your life. Read this list and add to it daily. Remind yourself that you are capable, smart, and can do anything you set your mind to. You are awesome just the way you are!

2. Make yourself a priority

Identify your needs that are being unmet and set self-care goals to fill those voids. Be sure to tend to your needs first so you can give to others from a place of abundance. Is this challenging when you have a partner, parents, and kids relying on you? It sure is. But are you worth it? You sure are!

3. Give thanks and show gratitude

You have a lot to be thankful for. Your body is amazing and keeps you alive. Each day look in the mirror and give thanks to each part of your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Proclaim your love to yourself. Do this every morning and every evening and watch how your feelings toward yourself change.