3 Ways to Handle Food Pushers

Have you ever been on a personal development journey and come across obstacles along the way that cause a detour?

When someone is on their intuitive eating journey, there are lots of things that can happen that set them back into diet mentality One common obstacle is dealing with “Food Pushers.”

What’s a Food Pusher?

Let’s look at the following scenario: You are at your friend Sarah’s home for dinner. You ate mindfully and fully enjoyed the meal. You “left room” for dessert and you are feeling pretty good about how your intuition has been guiding you through the meal. Sarah brings out a homemade apple pie and she seems excited for you to try it. While the apple pie looks good, you really don’t feel like having apple pie. Instead, you are eyeing the bowl of fresh berries with whipped topping.

Sarah says “here, have a piece of apple pie”. And, you say, “no, thank you”. And she says “oh come on. I baked it just for you. One bite won’t kill you”. You say, “okay, I’ll have a small slice”. You eat the apple pie but now you are upset with yourself. It’s not that you think you “can’t” have the apple pie, but you really just wanted the fresh berries and whipped topping. You didn’t even enjoy the pie much.

This is an example of a “Food Pusher” at work. I also call them “Pressure Feeders”.

A Food Pusher or Pressure Feeder is someone who pushes or pressures you to eat something after you’ve already said no. Typically, they have their own agenda in wanting you to eat the food they are offering. Perhaps they want to be the best hostess or they feel they’ve gone to all this work and want you to enjoy. However, there are some people who try to sabotage you that have a deeper agenda (more on that in a future blog).

What’s the best way to deal with Food Pushers?

1. Thank and Redirect: First, you want to thank the person for their offering. Then you redirect them to what you really want to eat. Never eat what you don’t want.
2. Be Honest: If you are finished eating and are comfortably full, be honest with your host. “I’m full now and just cannot fit another thing into my stomach. It’s all been so delicious, thank you!
3. Stay Consistent: It’s crucial for you to stay consistent in saying “no, thank you”. Most of the time, Food Pushers will ask you more than one time if you want that apple pie (or whatever food they are pushing). If on the third try, you say yes, then they know all they have to do is ask you three times and you’ll say yes. Mission accomplished!

Food Pushers/Pressure Feeders are all around us, especially in the diet culture we live in.

Just imagine…your friend is on a diet; you’ve given up dieting and are learning to be intuitive with your eating. She wants to “go off her diet” (= diet mentality) and she tries to push you into joining her.

This happens all the time!

Stay true to yourself and your journey. You have the power within you to say “NO” to anything that does not align with your goals for yourself!

Are YOU a Food Pusher?

Aside from watching out for the food pushers you may encounter, consider if you yourself are a food pusher. You know what I mean…you slaved for hours in the kitchen for your guests and it hardly seems like they’re eating. So you say “come on, have another”.

We all do this. I famously  pushed graduation cake on the parents of my graduating dietetic interns back in 2002 when I finally stopped in my tracks and said to myself “Bonnie, you are a food pusher. If they want, they will take”. And they did…when THEY were ready.

You don’t have to eat to please other people. Remember first and foremost, respect your body and others will respect you for it.

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