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Is it Wrong to Want to Lose Weight While Working on Intuitive Eating?

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday Question is a common question that I hear all the time.  

The question is:

Question:

“Bonnie, I’m told that if I’m “doing” intuitive eating, I “shouldn’t” want to lose weight. Is it wrong to still want to lose weight even though I am learning intuitive eating?

Are you shaking your head now saying to yourself “yes, yes I want to know the answer to this question too.”

 

I want you to know that it’s okay to want to release excess weight. I always tell my clients that saying “I want to lose weight” is not like using curse words. Yet, they are meant to feel like they are not allowed to have this desire.

 

They are. And you are! But here’s the difference.

 

We need to first focus on re-building the trust in your body and in yourself that you have lost over all the years of dieting and abusing your body. In the right time, once intuitive eating has become a practice for you, if you are carrying excess weight and it’s meant to be released, it will do so without you having to worry about it, wish for it, or manipulate your eating to achieve it.

 

Giving up the ‘control’ of “I must lose weight” is scary, as you are probably concerned you will gain weight in the interim.

 

I won’t be able to do a Facebook Live training today like I usually do on Intuitive Eating Wednesdays. So, I am linking below to two YouTube videos that I filmed on the topic of intuitive eating and weight loss/weight gain.

 

Just click the images below, and after watching them, post a comment and I’ll respond!

 

 

 

 

 

I will look for your comments, either right here on the blog, or under the videos!

 

 

Another New Weight Loss System that’s Doomed to Fail

balloonsTrying to figure out how the picture here connects with the blog title? Read on…

It is not unusual for you to open up a magazine or hear on TV about a new weight loss procedure or miracle diet/supplement to help you lose weight quickly.

If you are a chronic dieter, you probably take notice whenever there is a new “best” way to lose weight.  And, you’ve probably tried most if not all of them.

Well, today I had to write about another new weight loss procedure that is about to hit the market because I just can’t believe it.  I will describe it to you, without naming names (for good reason).

This latest FDA-approved weight-loss system is minimally invasive.  It consists of three tiny capsules, each containing an inflatable balloon attached to a catheter.  You would swallow each of the capsules, three weeks apart, and X-rays are taken to ensure they are just in the right spot.

(You would be swallowing inflatable balloons!)

Once the balloons are in the right spot, gas is pumped through the catheter, filling the balloon up.  The catheter is removed, and you would go home with a small balloon (or balloons) in your stomach.

The balloons stays there for six months, filling up the stomach.  This is meant to help you feel full so you don’t eat as much.  After six months, the balloons are removed via minimally-invasive endoscopic surgery.

UGH!

But, why do you need to resort to this type of procedure?

Wouldn’t it be better to learn why you feel the need to overeat, and to change your relationship with food?

The research for this procedure did have the volunteers meeting with a registered dietitian every three weeks, helping them making healthy lifestyle changes, which is good.  This system is meant to be done in conjunction with diet and exercise and the company says you would need to meet with a dietitian regularly as part of the program.

But, why not meet with a registered dietitian certified as an intuitive eating counselor to do the deeper work that you have to do NOW so you can finally be free of all these weight loss systems and procedures (which by the way doesn’t keep the weight off long term)?

This is where intuitive eating can be beneficial.  If you learn the why behind your eating and what is actually driving your overeating you will no longer seek to fill those needs with food! You will learn how to listen to your body’s hunger and satiety cues and give your body what it wants.

You CAN do this.  No device or procedure or pill is needed.

Remember, there is no “quick-fix” to obesity, it is a disease that requires a long-term solution via a multi-faceted approach.

Start by understanding the real reason(s) you overeat, the WHY behind your eating. As I have said many times before, it is not about the food.

If you would like my help to create a healthier relationship with food, your mind and your body, just go to www.TalkWithBonnie.com and we’ll set up a time to chat.

 

 

Dieting Information Overload – When To Start Taking Action

to-do-listI’ve been a registered dietitian nutritionist in private practice for over 28 years now. Wow, hard to believe. And a lot has changed in the industry in the last 28 years. When I first got out of school and opened my business, I was mostly treating patients for medical conditions using nutrition therapy. These conditions included uncontrolled diabetes, cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol, hypertension, gastrointestinal conditions, to name a few.

 

In most of these cases, except for some of the gastrointestinal conditions, weight loss was always a part of the treatment plan. I created a nutrition plan that included a meal plan tailored to the patients’ medical condition and weight loss goals. My patients were getting better and losing weight. It all seemed so perfect.

 

At some point, I asked myself what can I do to help prevent these illnesses or the complications from occurring due to their diseases. Again, weight loss was usually part of the prevention plan and my patients wanted a meal plan to follow, which I obliged to.

 

Yet, at some point about 5-6 years ago, I realized that these meal plans are actually doing a disservice to many of these patients. The meal plan turned into a diet for them to follow and they just didn’t know how to navigate certain situations in their lives when they couldn’t “follow” the meal plan I created. These included vacations, weddings, deaths, job loss and other events and circumstances. They then felt guilty, ashamed and upset that they just couldn’t “do it”. They lost total confidence and trust in themselves.

 

Can you relate?

 

This is when I turned my attention to helping people break free of dieting to learn how to re-trust themselves and their bodies again to make the food choices that feel right for them. Yes, this is where my intuitive eating work comes in.

 

But here is what I have found.

 

As I started talking about and spreading my message about giving up dieting, all of a sudden the internet was swarming with coaches doing the same thing. It caught on like wildfire! It seems like every other day there is another summit with ‘expert interviews’ telling you how to give up dieting.

 

I’ve been on these summits, and I do believe they can be very helpful. But I also believe that there comes a point where you need to stop collecting information and start taking action. That’s when the real change happens.

 

So, in theory, yes, giving up dieting is your answer to finally achieving the body and life you want without food restriction, deprivation and feelings of guilt after you eat. But, if you don’t begin to practice this, you will continue to struggle.

 

3 Tips to Help You Start Taking Action

 

  • Stop signing up for every “end dieting” summit that pops up in your newsfeed. Choose 1 or 2 experts that you resonate most with and follow them (hint…I hope I’m one of them).

 

  • Pick one action step and focus on that for one week. Self-assess each evening to see how you feel with your progress. When you are ready, add a second action step and so on. Don’t take on too many changes at once.

 

  • See support to help you on your journey. These changes are tough! Anyone who tells you otherwise is not being truthful! There is no reason to go this alone. An RDN coach can walk the journey with you and support you. If you’d like to see how I can help you, just contact me here.

 

I am excited for you that you have made the commitment to give up dieting forever. I also know how scary that thought is. Please don’t let that fear keep you in the “gathering information” phase. Start taking action today. I am here to support you.

 

Your Emotional Health, Self-Talk and Weight Loss

quote-92I have many clients that come to me with the frustration of not meeting their weight loss goals.  They come to me wondering what they can do to reach their “goals”.  I usually sit down with them and go over what they are eating and if they are exercising; the typical conversation I have when a client comes to me for weight loss.

 

But their eating pattern isn’t the only thing we discuss.

 

My clients and I may also discuss how they feel about themselves after not reaching their “goals”.  Where is their mindset at?  How are they feeling on their journey to a healthier lifestyle?

 

Often they might see not reaching their weight loss goal as a failure and a reflection of who they are as a person.  They may then develop a negative internal monologue with themselves that tends to only perpetuate weight gain or the inability to lose weight.

 

Does this resonate with you?

 

Bullying yourself is not the way to long lasting weight loss, nor is it part of a healthy lifestyle.

 

Many times the roadblocks in the journey to weight loss are not a lack of nutrition education or even support, but rather they are barriers you put up in your own psyche that prevents you from moving forward.

 

Your emotional health is key to your physical health, and talking yourself down will not lead to success.

 

How many times have you eaten what you consider “poorly” or not in keeping with your “diet plan” throughout the first half of the day, and your inner voice starts bullying you saying, “You can’t even make it a few hours without eating unhealthy” or “Can’t you stick to anything?  You’re such a failure!  You’ll never lose weight!”  The disappoint that accompanies these thoughts almost always leads to more unhealthy choices throughout the rest of the day.

 

Instead of criticizing yourself, be your own cheerleader.

 

The day is not ruined if you chose to eat a bagel for breakfast instead of oatmeal.  Tell yourself it is OK and move on.

 

There are so many more things to the day than what you eat.

 

Food should only be a part of your life, not what controls it.

 

The more you can shift your mind from the negative to focusing on all the great things about what you do in a day, the more success you will have with living a healthy lifestyle.

 

Support from others is great and is a key piece in a healthy mindset (and intuitive eating), but the support you give yourself is equally if not more important.  After all, you are on this journey for you and nobody else, and while weight loss is great, achieving happiness and a sense of peace with the way you maintain a healthy lifestyle is even better.

 

Intuitive eating can help you change your mindset and help you overcome body bashing.  You will develop a better relationship with food and no longer have feelings of remorse or anger if you go off your “diet plan”.

 

If you would like to learn more about intuitive eating and how it can help you, contact me here.

 

Can I Fail on My Intuitive Eating Journey?

No failures in IEI was thinking about a conversation I had with a new client a few weeks ago. She was really fed up with dieting and was looking for a solution to help her finally be at peace with food and her body.  We talked about the process of intuitive eating and it resonated with her greatly, but she had one big fear:  would she fail at this process, like she failed at dieting?

 

Her fear of failure was initially holding her back from saying yes to embarking on the intuitive eating process.  So we talked about that fear and one of the things I helped her to understand is that you cannot fail at intuitive eating.

 

You see, dieting is something you go on and you go off. Dieting is what actually triggers overeating.  Dieting is what causes the feelings of failure.

 

With intuitive eating, there is no failure. Intuitive eating is this process where you’re learning to become an intuitive eater, which is an ability you are born with.  That ability is already within you.   Every step along the path, is a lesson learned.  Every experience you have will be another lesson learned.

 

So what you might have thought of as a “failure” or “setback” on your diet, is now going to be thought of as a lesson learned.  Its growth and progress.

 

If you can view the process of intuitive eating from this place, a place of growth, a place of learning new things and new experiences, it will help propel you forward towards reclaiming being an intuitive eater. Here you will realize that you will always learn something from the process and you will never fail.

 

Once my client realized that she is not embarking on another diet, she realized she cannot fail on this journey.  This process is not something that ends.  You learn to live as an intuitive eater, it’s a practice.

 

And so when there is no endpoint, there’s no failure and no fear that’s attached to that.

 

Once she was able to let go of that fear, she was able to say “YES, let’s do this.  Let’s go on this journey together so I can reclaim being an intuitive eater”. She’s on that journey now and really enjoying it.

 

I say the same to you.

 

There are lessons learned in every experience you have on this intuitive eating journey.

 

If you come upon an obstacle or you think you have fallen off the wagon, let’s change that thought process and just think of it as a lesson learned that’s given you growth so you can continue along your journey.

 

As always, if you need me, I am here.

 

 

There’s No All or Nothing in Intuitive Eating

cakeI recently had a client share her success story.  Let’s call her Susan. Susan was at an office party when two delicious looking cakes were served.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to resist trying the cakes, so she took a small piece of each on her plate.  She ate a few bites of the chocolate cake, then a few bites of the white cream cake, and something amazing happened!

 

She didn’t feel the need to eat more! She was shocked. She was practicing mindfulness around her eating and she savored each bite and she was satisfied before she polished off both pieces.

 

This. Never. Happened. To. Her. Before.

 

How did she do this you ask?

 

By using the intuitive eating strategies that I am teaching her, she is learning to move away from the all or nothing way of thinking.  She didn’t feel guilty for indulging in a food she wanted.  She has made peace with food and has reaped the benefits which is showing up in so many ways in her life.

 

Had she found herself in this scenario a few months ago before we began working together, the outcome would have been different. The all or nothing thinking is part of a diet mentality and usually leads to overeating, followed by guilt, unhappiness, dieting, restriction, overeating etc.  It’s a vicious cycle.

 

Intuitive eating is tuning into what your body wants, even if it’s a slice of cake, and giving it what it wants.  If you listen to your body, you won’t feel the need to overeat and have guilt afterwards.  Your body will be happy it can enjoy the foods it wants.

 

You may be asking yourself, “How do I get myself to this point?”  The answer is to change your mindset.  You have to step away from the diet mentality of restricting certain foods or entire food groups.

 

The way to make peace with food is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you want. I know, this sounds like an opportunity to eat uncontrollably. And to be honest with you, some people use it as an excuse to do just that.

 

It’s a process my dear readers. It does not happen overnight. Those who work through the process with the support, encouragement, positive attitude and patience are the ones who will experience what Susan did. The intuitive eating process can help you transform your relationship with food, where you end the battle with food and your body and achieve great pleasure in eating once again.

 

Here are two steps you can take today to become and intuitive eater and change your mindset:

 

  1. Commit to saying goodbye to the dieting mindset! It is time to recognize that you can have your cake and eat it too. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

 

  1. Start tuning in and listening to your body. Your body gives you signals when it starts to get hungry and full. Tune into these signals to know when and what you should feed your body.  You’ll learn to eat what your body craves without overeating.

 

I am here to help you embark on this journey and break out of the dieting mindset.

 

If you’d like further individualized support, just fill out this risk free request form at www.TalkWithBonnie.com.

 

How to Break Through Your Limiting Beliefs Around Weight Loss

Roadblock breakthroughSomething is keeping you stuck. Something keeps you trying each new diet that hits the market even though you know by now that diets don’t work.

 

Okay, so when I say “diets don’t work”, let me clarify.

 

Diets DO work in the short term by helping you lose weight, but ultimately they FAIL in the long term because you gain that weight back, plus some! So why oh why do you keep trying to follow a diet? And let’s be real for a minute. When you visit a registered dietitian nutritionist and ask for a “meal plan”, that is just a nicer way to say diet. If you don’t understand what I mean, read my story here.

 

So, let’s understand a little about why you might be resistant to giving up dieting.

 

  • Perhaps you think that a diet is the only way to lose weight. (Wrong!)

 

  • Perhaps you are too scared to trust that you actually know how to eat if you would just listen to your body. (I get that this might be true, but I can help you learn to re-trust your body again!)

 

  • Perhaps you really don’t want to be successful in losing weight. (Bingo!)

 

Wait, what did I just say? You don’t really want to lose weight? That’s insane. Of course you do, that’s why you try diet after diet, right?

 

I want to focus on that third bullet point. Dig deep down and ask yourself if you really want to lose the weight forever. What are your fears around shedding the layers that are possibly protecting you? What do you need to be protected from?

 

Consider some of the following beliefs that you might be holding onto, and understand these are preventing you from moving forward on your journey towards a body you love.

 

Do you ever say any of the following?

 

“I’m destined to be fat.”

“I will gain the weight back so why bother.”

“I won’t be able to trust myself around food.”

“Losing weight and changing my habits is hard, I’ll never be able to do it.”

 

These are all beliefs that MUST be knocked down, smashed through and turned upside down or you will still stay stuck where you are forever!

 

Sit in a quiet room and think. Just think about these beliefs you have around losing weight and your body. Then commit to getting the support you need to change your thought patterns and your behaviors.

 

Listen, I know you want to do this yourself. I get it. It’s embarrassing to ask for support, so you think.

 

I’m here to tell you there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Come join other women (and some men) who are on the journey towards breaking down these negative beliefs and who are now believing in themselves. Click here and join our community, for free.

 

And, if you’d like further individualized support, just fill out this request at www.TalkWithBonnie.com

 

 

 

 

 

Is Intuitive Eating just for Women? A True Father’s Day Gift!

Intuitive Eating is Not Just for Women! (1)I recently had a potential client express how he was stuck in the dieting mindset.  He had tried many diets before and has lost the weight and gained it right back.  He has feelings of failure and did not know how to break out of the cycle.  I suggested intuitive eating and how it can help him.  He realized that is exactly what he needs, but hesitated for two reasons:

 

Reason #1: He is so used to wanting and getting results quickly, that to engage in a “food behavior therapy-type” program wasn’t going to get him the instant results.

 

Reason #2: He thought this type of deep work was only for women, and what would people think if he embarked on this journey?

 

Well, after a few more minutes of conversation, he realized that reason #1 was exactly why he was speaking to me in the first place. Yes, all those diets gave him quick results, but those results never lasted. So, what good were they?

 

As for reason #2, I get it. Quite a few men think the path towards intuitive eating is more for women than men.

 

But listen up men! Intuitive eating is not just for women.  Men and women were both born intuitive eaters and the process to reclaim this is unisex and can benefit everyone.

 

The work I do with my clients in my 5 Step Intuitive Eating Program is a step-by-step process to help you transform your relationship with food, where you end the battle with food and your body and achieve great pleasure in eating once again.

 

If you are a man reading this blog, I’m sure you have your reasons as to why you assume this process is just for women.  Men don’t like to talk about their emotions, right?  May I ask you why?  Is it because of what society thinks? Is it just because men don’t “do emotions”?

 

Men – It is OK to talk about your emotions!  You are not alone.  Intuitive eating will show you and teach you how to cope with your emotions without food!

 

With intuitive eating, you’ll be able to enjoy eating your favorite foods without experiencing the guilt afterwards.  You’ll learn to accept your body, and with acceptance comes appreciation of your body.  From there, your mindset will change and you’ll be able to build a better relationship with food.  Your body will thank you.

 

What better time to take charge of your health and break free of the dieting mindset than around Father’s Day? 

 

Here are two steps you can take today to start the journey to become an intuitive eater:

 

  1. Commit to saying goodbye to the quick – fixes. Truly recognize this isn’t your long-term solution.

 

  1. Take advantage of my Father’s Day Gift to you – a Break Free of Dieting Strategy Session. During this session we will uncover the challenges that’s been holding you back from losing weight forever, and we will map out your intuitive eating path. Just click here to schedule your free session.

 

Happy Father’s Day!

 

 

3 Reasons Why I Will Never Diet Again, and Neither Should You

3 Reasons whyI will never diet again. I say this with confidence. I know that diets don’t work. I also know that in my younger years, whenever I was on a diet, I was miserable. Oh, yes, I always lost weight on the diet, but then I gained that weight back.

 

If you are reading this blog, I bet you can relate. You are a dieter, a chronic dieter. Perhaps you are reading this after breaking your current diet and you are desperate to find another way. Or, you are reading this and you are at your goal weight, having lost the excess pounds by starving yourself, drinking shakes or eating “clean” but tasteless food.

 

Here are 3 reasons WHY I will never diet again and neither should you:

 

1. Diets cause you to think about food ALL. THE. TIME. What did I eat yesterday, what did I eat before, what am I eating now, what will I eat later, what will I eat tomorrow. Whew, that’s exhausting. Food should not be the center of your day, food should not encompass your entire brain. There is so much more to life that you can be doing than thinking about food all the time.

 

2. Diets cause you to feel guilty when you eat something you think you should not eat. The diet lists foods for you to choose and those to avoid. But what if you happen to want to eat a food that’s on the “avoid” list? Well, what usually happens when you are told you cannot have something? Yep, you want it more (everyone always gets this question right!) You can deny your desire for only so long. So you indulge and the guilty feelings and harsh self-talk start. Isn’t it time to put that to bed?

 

3. Diets cause you to lose trust in your own food decisions. Well, last I checked, I am the owner of my body, of my inner signals and my thoughts. I can certainly make decisions about what I want to eat. Don’t you think you should too?

 

These are only 3 reasons I will never diet again, and why you shouldn’t either. There are plenty more that perhaps I’ll discuss in another blog.

 

In the meantime, I would like to hear from you. Do you resonate with any of the side effects of dieting I discussed above? How will you break this vicious cycle? Let me know in the comments below.

 

And, come and join the discussion in my free private Facebook group where you’ll join women and men who are giving up dieting too. Click here to request free access.

 

 

 

5 Steps to STOP Dieting Once and For All

5 steps webinar graphic 1You know how to eat healthfully. You have heard it time and time again.

 

Eat whole foods, lean proteins, whole grains, plenty of fruits and veggies (the colors of the rainbow) and healthy fats. And, yes, avoid highly processed foods!

 

You don’t need a “Food Revolution” to tell you this! You know this already.

 

You actually have eaten like this. Then stopped eating like this. Then started eating like this again, then stopped again! Yikes, I’m getting dizzy!

 

Why do you NOT do what you know is good for you?

 

Well, there might be several reasons. For starters, it’s easy to fall back into old habits. Change is hard, there’s no doubt about that. And change takes time, patience and perseverance. You can do it as long as life cooperates. But once life throws you a curve ball, you haven’t learned how to juggle that curve ball while maintaining your newfound healthy habits. So, you fall back into old familiar habits that feel safe, even if they aren’t healthy for you.

 

Now, don’t feel bad about this. It happens to the best of us. What you should feel bad about is if you don’t keep trying. If you just throw in the towel and say and do one of the two following statements:

  • “It doesn’t matter, I’m destined to be fat, and so I might as well just forget trying. I’m going to enjoy my food and I’ll show them (by the way, who is “them”)?”

 

  • “I’m going to try the Atkins diet again, or Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time”.

 

Now, let’s discuss each of the above statements.

 

In statement number one, you are engaging in pessimistic thinking (the cup is half empty). This type of self-talk is negative messaging that only leads to more unhappiness and self-destructive thoughts and behaviors.

 

In statement number two, you know full well that diets don’t work. I don’t care what diet it is. Diets just don’t work as a ‘forever’.

 

Again, you know this. So, why do you fall for the fad diet’s false advertising time and time again?

 

I am going to explain why in full detail AND I am going to give away my 5 Step System to Break Free of Dieting so you can get the body and life you love on my upcoming Free Online Webinar.

 

Here are the deets:

 5 steps webinar graphic 1

Monday May 16, 2016 at 8 pm EST/5 pm PST.

 

Join HERE.

 

This is a Pitch-Free Webinar. I am not selling any home study or group program.

 

In honor of my birthday month (May), I am giving back to you by teaching you my system at no cost to you.

 

There is no reason not to show up live.

 

Register here. I can’t wait to speak to you!