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5 Tips to Get Your Spouse on Board Your Intuitive Eating Journey

There are many women that I coach in my 5 Step Intuitive Eating Program who complain to me that their spouse is not supportive of their journey. This is either because they just don’t get it or they think that you should be able to “do it on your own”.

 

They may say to you, “just stop eating”, and don’t understand it often isn’t even about the food.

 

Do you find this to be true about your spouse?

 

Let’s explore this further…..

 

Perhaps your spouse himself is a dieter and isn’t ready to stop dieting.

 

Or, he doesn’t see an issue with your eating and doesn’t understand your need to make changes.

 

If we go even deeper, he may fear that your relationship will change once your relationship with food changes. After all, who will he binge eat at night with while watching TV?

 

Whatever the reason, there are ways to get your spouse on board with your intuitive eating journey. And, there are ways you can approach the topic of support with him without him getting defensive.

 

5 Tips to Get Your Spouse on Board:

 

1. Share your BIG WHY with him – This will help him understand why you’ve made the decision to no longer diet and why you are making changes in the house. If you explain to him your desire to be more in tune with your body and why this is important to you, he’ll know more of what you need, i.e. no T.V. while you eat dinner.

 

2. Be open with your struggles – Sometimes your spouse can be threatened by your new way of living because as we said, he may be a yo-yo dieter and is not ready to stop dieting.       It can be helpful to show him that it’s not that you’re better than him; it’s that you are ready to end your struggle as you’ve come to the realization that diets don’t work for you. And, you need help. Explain to him that you are struggling with your relationship with food and need to make changes in your own life to help form a stronger, and healthier relationship with food.

 

3. Be specific with the support you need from him – Remember that your spouse isn’t a mind reader!       If you want help from him, you need to specifically ask him for it. The more specific you are, the more support and help he will be able to give. If he always suggest to go out to dinner for happy and sad occasions, ask him if you guys can do something else together that doesn’t revolve around food for those same occasions.   Whatever it is, just be specific!

 

4. Understand it’s not about you, it’s often about him – Unfortunately, your spouse may not understand what you are going through and won’t want to make changes in his own life, even if they are better for you. If that’s the case, remember it’s about him and has nothing to do with you. You can still change your relationship with food and look for support from friends and others on the same journey as you. Hopefully once he sees how happy you are with your changes, he’ll get on board too! If you haven’t yet joined my free intuitive eating support community, you can do that here!)

 

5. Don’t try to change him, that will never work – You can’t force your spouse to change his lifestyle just because you want him too. Although it would be nice and better for you, he doesn’t need to change.  You are still able to change your own relationship with food, even if he doesn’t change his.

 

If you are looking for more help on how to get your spouse on board, please reach out to me. I can help you. Answer a few questions at TalkWithBonnie.com and I’ll be in touch to set up a time to talk.

 

Your Turn to Take Action: What steps will you take this week to get your spouse on board with your intuitive eating journey? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Mastering Intuitive Eating

My client, Amanda, who is working with me on intuitive eating, walked into my office, sat down and starting crying. Once she was able to stop crying, she told me how she recently had a breast cancer scare. Her doctor called her and told her she needed to go for a second mammogram, they “saw” something on the first one. After the mammogram, a biopsy needed to be done. The results came back as benign, and she was crying of happiness.

 

What a sigh of relief.

 

Now, her focus shifted back to taking care of herself since in the 2 weeks prior while she was going through what seemed like torture and waiting for results, she found herself soothing herself with comfort foods.

 

Isn’t it crazy how life often throws you curveballs? They come with no warning and can sweep you off your feet.

 

These curve balls can often make it difficult for you to stay focused on your intuitive eating journey. You may come face-to-face with various obstacles you don’t expect, and feel like you have no support, even when you need it the most.

 

In theory, you should be able to use the techniques you learned throughout your journey, but training is one thing; practice, support and accountability is another. It can be extremely beneficial to continue to have support while you start integrating your intuitive eating training into your daily life.

 

This is where my new membership program Intuitive Eating Mastery Circle can play a role. This program will provide you with the support and accountability you need while you embark on integrating your intuitive eating practice into your daily life. You will have my support as well as the support of a group of wonderful women who are all on the same journey.

 

With this membership program, we meet twice every month for live, small group coaching calls on the phone and during open office hours in our private Facebook group. During these calls and during open office hours, we work through any lingering diet mentalities you may have, bust through your limiting beliefs and, most importantly, deal with challenging times in your life without falling back to using food to cope.

 

The best part of this Mastery Circle is that what we focus on and discuss depends on YOU. Whatever obstacle you may face or struggle you may have, you can ask me and your new family for support and we can help you through it. You will always have someone on your side.

 

Head on over to IntuitiveEatingMasteryCircle.com for all the details and to get started right away. Register by midnight Eastern on Wednesday September 13th and SAVE 50%.

 

If you have any questions about the program, please email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com so I can help you and see if this program is a right fit for you.

 

I look forward to seeing you in our Mastery Circle!

How to Love Your Body Just As It Is

banner-2If you’ve been searching for the perfect diet to get the body you’ve always dreamed of, chances are you are still searching.

 

The truth is, chronic dieting and yo-yo dieting will not give you a body you love.

 

Diets are not maintainable.

 

Dieting to drop the last 10, 20 or 50 pounds can only backfire.  It is only a short-term solution to a problem that needs a long-term solution.  Chances are, when you reach your “ideal weight” (What is considered ideal anyway?  A topic for another blog), you won’t be able to stay there for long.  The reason for your need to overeat or feed your emotions will still be there.

 

You may be asking yourself, “If diets won’t get me the body I love, what will?”

 

Here’s the solution: learning to love your body right now.

 

The way to start loving your body is to step away from diets.  If all you’ve ever known is dieting, this might seem a little scary.  But, when you stop dieting, you become more in tune with your body’s internal hunger cues.  You are able to listen to your body and feed it when and what it wants.

 

Here are 3 steps you can take now to start loving your body:

 

  1. Respect your body. Respecting your body does not mean accepting your body how it is now and thinking you have to stay this way the rest of your life.  It means accepting your here and now body.  When you respect your body, treat it with dignity and provide your body with what it needs, then you’ll make room for loving every aspect of your body and what it does for you.

 

  1. Trust your body. Start listening to your body’s inner hunger cues and feed them.  Your body has the ability to tell you when it’s hungry, when it’s full and what it wants to eat.  When you listen to what your body wants, you’ll start to change your relationship with your body and see it differently.

 

  1. Stand in front of the mirror and tell your body what you love about it, whether it’s a physical trait or something your body has done for Use this as a way to show your body the same support that it has given you over the years- I love my ears, eyelashes, smile, butt or stomach.
  • I love how strong my arms are.
  • I love the freckles across my cheeks.
  • I love my legs because they take me where I need to go.
  • I love my hips because they help me carry my child.

 

When you love and respect your body, something wonderful happens.  You no longer obsess over it and see weight release happen without all the worry.  Having the ability to do this will help you succeed on your intuitive eating journey and you might be surprised to learn what your body is capable of when you show it love!

 

If you’re looking for more tools and techniques to learn how to love your body, come join my Love Yourself, Love Your Body free giveaway event happening now until September 30th.  I have complied 25+ experts who are giving away programs and gifts to help you make peace with food, enjoy guilt-free eating, a life free of dieting and a body you love.  Grab your free gifts here.

 

If you’d like help on learning to love your body again, contact me here.  I can help you.

 

You Don’t Need to Walk the Intuitive Eating Journey Alone

Word support with hand pickin up PDieting is lonely. You are at a party and everyone is eating what they want without a worry in the world. You, well – you either fall into one of two categories:

 

Category 1: You are on a diet and are feeling deprived because you “can’t” eat the party food that everyone else is. You put on a happy face, but inside you are miserable. You and I both know what will happen when you get home (let’s be honest because that’s how I rock…you’ll probably raid the kitchen cabinets…)

 

Category 2: You were on a diet until you got to the party and then saw all the great food you’d be missing out on. So you say “forget the diet”, and you indulge and promise to start over in the morning.

 

Isn’t it time to leave all this behind you? Yes, of course it is. That’s why you are reading my blog and following my work in intuitive eating. I’m so proud of you!

 

But here’s where it gets sticky. You still want to lose weight, but you really want to learn to be an intuitive eater. In order to do that, you must commit to a diet-free life. Well, who of your friends will understand when you tell them that you have decided never to diet again?

 

They say “girl, what did you say? You are never going to diet again?” They are amazed but really think you’ve lost your marbles. You, however, are committed to this new way of living and learning, but you would love to talk to other women who get it and are on the same journey as you.

 

Well, I’ve got the perfect solution for you!

 

The Diet Free Radiant Me™ (DFRM) Online Community.

 

What is the Diet Free Radiant Me™ (DFRM) Online Community?

This is a Private Exclusive Facebook Group filled with women who have committed to giving up dieting just like you!

 

Who is it for?

This group is for you if you are a woman who is a chronic dieter and/or an emotional eater struggling to lose weight and you want to break free of the pain of dieting to get the healthy body you love more than anything. You realize that dieting isn’t the answer but you need guidance and support as you embark on a new journey.

 
Purpose of the group

The DFRM private Facebook Group is a place for you to leave dieting behind and to embrace intuitive eating while learning to love your body.

 
What goes on in our group?

Some of the things we do in my group are (a) Theme days around the 3 essential ingredients to long-lasting weight loss (healthy mindset, caring support and nutrition education), (b) Free challenges, and (c) Ongoing caring support in a nonjudgmental way.

 

This is a WIN-WIN for you! It’s a no-cost way for you to get the support you need on your journey and to meet and connect with like-minded women.

 

Join us by clicking HERE. I’ll be waiting for you with open arms!

 

(When you arrive at the private Facebook group, please click the green Join Group Button.)

 

Did You Have a Vacation Mindset Around Food this Summer?

Pool 2015I’m sorry to say that the summer is almost over! Someone asked me today when my daughter starts school, and I had to admit I didn’t know. I just love the summer. The warm weather, the relaxed attitude and vacation time.

 

This month I actually went on vacation TWICE! This is not like me. But, it’s all part of MY Self-Care Plan. It’s important to stop and take a break and re-energize.

 

My first vacation was with my husband for 5 days…no kids, just us. It was wonderful. One thing we did that we never have time to do at home is to eat out at restaurants. We actually ate out every evening! The second vacation was a short 2 days with another two couples.

 

My clients often worry when they are preparing to go away on vacation. They worry about the food they will eat, how much weight they will gain and they often go into “vacation mindset”.

 

What is “vacation mindset” you ask?

 

“Oh, I’m on vacation, I’ll enjoy myself and start my diet (or start over) when I get home.”

 

Yikes. Have you ever said this to yourself? Well, it’s okay if you have, but make a commitment from the moment you read this blog that you won’t fall prey to the “vacation mindset” again.

 

You see, when you say this to yourself, you are giving yourself permission to eat beyond your point of satisfaction, to eat and snack mindlessly because you are on vacation. And then when you return home, you are upset with yourself and start the negative self-talk and body bashing and probably promise never to do that again. But, you do.

 

Moving away from this mindset means you are respecting your body each and every day, no matter if you are on vacation or not. Staying tuned in and aware while choosing the foods you love will enable you to have pleasure in your meals and feel strong in your body.

 

This is the power of being an intuitive eater.

 

I enjoyed my vacations, and I enjoyed every meal that I ate. I didn’t worry about my food choices, I stayed tuned in and aware. You can too! I’m here to help you if you need me.

 

Want some extra support? Join my free private Facebook online community by clicking here.

 

 

 

The Gift of Support this Valentine’s Day

Flowers and chocolates are great, but most of the time material gifts do not make us feel nearly as good as a compliment from a loved one.  Even better than a compliment is support.  You are on your own individual journey into mindful eating, but while you work on loving yourself this Valentine’s Day, ask for the gift of support from your loved ones.

 

This journey into mindful eating that you are on is very personal.  It can sometimes be hard to let others in.  But when you involve the ones you love in matters going on in your life, you may be surprised how much it helps.  Chances are they have seen you go on and off the diet roller coaster so many times and they will be excited to see you embracing a diet-free approach.  They don’t want to see you trapped by a “meal plan” and they certainly don’t want to see you disappointed and not able to reach your goals.

 

So this Valentine’s Day let your loved ones in on the new, diet-free you.  Ask them for support while you travel the road to mindful eating.  Ask them what is it they love about you and let this remind you of the wonderful person that you are.  Love and emotion is a powerful thing, and the support that comes with loving relationships will certainly help you succeed!

 
Let me know what your loved ones had to say about your new diet-free mindset!