Can Intuitive Eating Lead to Your Natural Healthy Weight?

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday Question comes from a new member in my online community:


“Can intuitive eating lead to a natural weight?”


This is a great question. The short answer is yes, I believe that it could. But the longer answer requires us to have a bit of a conversation.


What does ‘natural weight’ mean to you?


Do you mean that if you “do” intuitive eating, will you lose weight? The truth is, some people lose weight, some gain weight initially, and some people’s weight remains stable. Keep in mind that the process of becoming an intuitive eater is NOT a weight loss program.


I’m going to repeat that. Intuitive eating is not a weight loss program. And if anyone tells you that it is and promises you weight loss, then run the other way.


Intuitive eating helps you change your relationship with food and your body, it helps you regain the trust in your inner body wisdom to guide your eating. You have this ability deep within you, it’s just buried under years of dieting and trying to interfere with what your natural weight is.


Back to the question…what is a natural weight?


A natural weight is the weight your body will maintain with ‘normal’ eating and ‘normal’ movement. This means no food restriction and no boot camp exercise regimes pushing yourself beyond your limits.


The problem is that your natural weight may not match the weight you have in your mind that you desire, which is likely influenced by the surrounding diet culture, current fashion, celebrities and even recommendations of your doctor to lose weight to an unrealistic number based on outdated height and weight charts and calculations.


So take a moment and ask yourself if you are chasing an unrealistic weight or body size. A lot of clients that I start working with are. They have a number or vision in mind of what they want to look like, but that is not realistic for them. And, let’s add to this equation your genetics. Genetics also plays a role in determining body size, and this may not match up to the weight or size you have in mind.


I do believe that your body will balance out at your natural healthy weight by practicing intuitive eating consistently, respecting and caring for your current body, and practicing self-care.


How long will this take? No one knows. Just enjoy the process as it’s happening.



The Ultimate Mother’s Day Gift

Is your Mother’s Day already planned out from start to finish?  Do your plans include going out for brunch and ending with a nice dinner and dessert?


Are there any plans not around food? Maybe going for a walk or just spending time with family?


If your plans only include food, you are not alone.  It is very common to celebrate Mother’s Day with food. Food is often associated with celebration.


What if I told you there’s another way to celebrate Mother’s Day…


The ultimate gift you can give yourself (or another mother) is the gift of self-care!!


When’s the last time you took some time for yourself?


By taking time to care for yourself, you are actually helping to be more present for your loved ones.  It may seem like your needs are not as important as those around you, but again, if your needs are not met, how can you be the best you can be for everyone in your life.


Here are 3 ways you can engage in self-care this Sunday for Mother’s Day:


  1. Schedule Relaxing Activities. Make a list of activities that make you happy and help you relax. Pick one or two that will make you smile and laugh and allow you to truly enjoy your day.  This could be soaking in a warm tub, going to a movie with your loved ones, or taking a walk along your favorite path.


  1. Sleep In. For some, sleep can be a luxury. Stress can get in the way and affect the quality of your sleep as well as getting up early or staying up late to take care of others.  On Sunday, sleep in!  Let the family know ahead of time that you plan to get some extra zzz’s in the morning.  You never know, maybe they’ll greet you with breakfast in bed when you wake up!


  1. Recite Positive Affirmations. Maybe your day is already jam-packed and you’re excited about it and don’t want to change anything. That’s OK! You can still engage in self-care even when your day is busy. Start your Mother’s Day with positive affirmations.  Look in the mirror and spend a few minutes thinking about things you like about yourself or something you excelled at this past week that made you proud.  Keep these affirmations in mind throughout the day and repeat them to yourself as you go about your day.


Engaging in self-care will make you feel happier and fulfilled and allow you to be the best YOU. You will be more present for your loved ones and enjoy the little things a bit more.


If you need help engaging in self-care as part of your journey towards changing your relationship with food, schedule a strategy session with me on  I am here to help you!


Happy Mother’s Day!

How to Treat Yourself without Food

You’ve had a long day. Heck, it’s been a long week. You need a treat. You head to the _______ and get yourself some ______________.


How would you fill in these blanks?


When I pose this question to the women who reach out to me for help with their weight, they fill in the blanks with the words ‘kitchen” and ‘ice cream’. Or, ‘store’ and ‘chocolate’. Or ‘freezer’ and ‘cake’.


Sound familiar?


The first thought that most likely pops into your mind when you are looking for a treat is food! Why is that? Why do you associate a treat with food?


An emotional connection with food is created from the moment we are born and placed on our mom’s chest to bond. And then, as you get older and need comfort, you are given some milk and cookies. Of, if you fall down and hurt yourself, you are consoled with a lollypop. There are numerous examples of how the emotional connection to food continues to be reinforced around you.


But how has this served you now into adulthood? Not very well I’m guessing. It has led to your struggle with emotional eating and your never-ending ride on the yo-yo diet roller coaster.


It’s time to treat yourself with something other than food. It’s time to treat yourself like a queen and to take good care of yourself so you don’t need to find comfort in food.


Let me share a story with you.


The last few months have been very busy and well, quite stressful. So yesterday I decided to treat myself like a queen. One of my dreams has always been to have a personal shopper come into my home and go through my clothes closet with me. Toss what is no good, keep what is, and create new outfits with what I have. Then head to the store with my personal shopper in tow and buy some new clothes.


Well, I didn’t exactly get that full dream….no, a personal shopper did not come to my house. But I did make an appointment with a personal shopper at Lord and Taylor and meet with her yesterday. This is a complementary service for shoppers…I never knew that! She set me up in her exclusive office fitting room and brought me clothes to try on based on what I told her I was looking for.


Wow, what an experience. I felt like a celebrity. This was the best experience ever! I bought some really great new clothes and felt really amazing.


I treated myself like a queen. I felt the stress lift off my shoulders, just like that. Doing something for yourself really feels good! You don’t need food to comfort or console yourself. Taking care of your needs on all levels and nurturing yourself will help you cope with your feelings without turning to food.


Try it…and let me know how it works out for you. If you want to talk, just contact me here!


How to NOT Eat When You Are Sad

photo-1422433555807-2559a27433bdIn your life, there has probably been a day or a moment when you felt sad or lonely. Maybe even right now, as you read this blog. This doesn’t mean you have to be diagnosed with clinical depression. It just means that you are sad.


Perhaps you heard news about a loved one’s illness, you got let go from your job, lost a client or got disciplined at work. Or, maybe you are struggling with loving your body and loving who you see in the mirror today.


While there are a multitude of reasons why you might be sad, the question I want to ask you is how do you handle that sadness? Do you turn to food to make the pain go away? Do you say “I don’t care, I just want to eat this chocolate cake, it will make me feel better?” You very well know that while that chocolate cake will numb you in that moment, it won’t take away the original source of your sadness. So when you are finished with the cake, which lead to the ice cream and perhaps even to the Kit Kat bars, you now feel bloated, tired, have heartburn and totally disgusted with yourself.


And, even more sad.


Let me share a story with you if I may. I was having a rough week last week. Suffice it to say I have been working very hard supporting my clients, and at the same time balancing my family responsibilities. Yes, the work/life balance is sometimes not so easy.


I recognized I was at a point where I needed to do something. My old way of handling the emotions I was feeling would have been to turn to the peanut butter jar. But instead, I decided to ask myself “what do you need Bonnie?” And I got my answer.


I needed to spend time with my parents, who are out of state. I needed to hug them and talk to them and seek their advice. I needed connection as I miss them terribly. Yes, I could “see” them via Facetime, but it’s not the same. I cannot hug Facetime.


So, I did something I never did before. I booked a flight and went to see them, by myself. My husband and kids were so supportive. I love them so much for recognizing my need and giving me their blessing. “We will be okay”, they said.


I had a wonderful time this past weekend just relaxing and connecting with my parents. I took care of my self-care needs. I slept late (which was very much needed), did not put on makeup (I put on makeup every day when I go to work), went for a long walk listening to music from the time when I dated my husband-we had a special song) and sat at the pool and listened to the birds chirp. While I was only away for 3 days, it felt like so much longer and it was amazing.


I returned home to my family and clients rejuvenated and ready to support them from a place of abundance.


I recognize that not everyone can pick themselves up and leave for a few days. This certainly isn’t something I usually do either. But, you can find whatever it is that YOU need right now to help you deal with your emotions instead of turning to food.


Ask yourself that one simple question I asked myself. Here’s that question again:


“What do I need right now?”


Answer yourself honestly, and follow through. You’ll be happy you did.


If you need help learning to cope with your emotions without food, please reach out to me. Email me at and let me know what you’re struggling with now.



Celebrate International No Diet Day with Me!

Today is a very special day… it is International No Diet Day!


This day is very near and dear to my heart as it celebrates body acceptance, diversity, and of course saying “no” to diets. International No Diet Day was initiated by British author Mary Evans Young, a feminist who led an anti-diet movement in 1992 called “Diet Breakers”.
This day of banning diets began in the United Kingdom as a day to encourage accepting your body and loving yourself and it has spread internationally. It brings attention to the widespread body discrimination in the media, those who have suffered through eating disorders and extreme weight loss plans, and the faux results that diet plans and pills promote.
The truth is that fad diets, diet products, and the way body image is portrayed in the media are detrimental to forming healthy eating and lifestyle habits. Body discrimination can be seen all around, from advertisements showing off thin models to the current “fat acceptance” movement which is quite the opposite and celebrates curves while shaming smaller physiques.
Celebrating and loving your body and yourself is the drive behind much of the work I do. Rather than restricting yourself, focus on nourishing yourself. I stress this to all my clients. Self-care and loving yourself go hand in hand. Please stop comparing yourself to others! Embrace your uniqueness and celebrate your body by treating it with nourishing foods and mindfulness.
I realize this might be really tough for you, especially if you’ve been dieting for a long time. Diets feel safe to you and you might be afraid to stop dieting. It’s okay to let go….let’s do it together. Today is the day we can all come together a say NO MORE DIETING!


Take the “International No Diet Day Pledge”.


Repeat the following as many times as you need to:

“I will accept myself just as I am.
I will feed myself if hungry.
I will feel no shame or guilt about my size or eating.
…and I will LOVE MYSELF for who I am, not who I feel pressure to be!”


Please know that I am here for you if you need support. Just send me an email at and let me know what you are struggling with.


A Mindful Eating Lunch Experience at the Kitchen Table

Rush, rush, rush! That’s how most of our days are. There never seems to be enough time to do the things we need to do.


How does that affect your eating? Do you stop during the day to actually sit down at the kitchen table to eat your lunch? Or, if you are at work, do you walk away from your desk and sit in the cafeteria or break room and mindfully eat your lunch?


If you do, then congratulations! But, if you are like most people, the answer is probably no.


I want to share a personal experience with you that happened yesterday.


It was lunchtime. I had a busy morning in my home office, and I felt the need to walk away for a while. I have been making it a practice to leave the office and go to my kitchen to eat my lunch at the kitchen table, away from the phones and hustle bustle. It doesn’t always work out, as sometimes I am running behind with appointments, but I am working at this just like you are. Yet, yesterday, something was just different.


I went up to the kitchen, asked myself what I wanted to eat, prepared it, and sat down at the table. It was a beautiful day out (thank goodness, it’s about time) and I looked out through my bay windows in the kitchen as I was eating my lunch. I was not rushed, I had time until my next client appointment and I very slowly and mindfully ate. I was noticing the flavors, the textures and how the food felt in my mouth. When I was finished, I was very satisfied and commented to myself that I had eaten this sandwich hundreds of times before, but this time was different.


This time, I really delved into the sensory qualities of the food I was eating. And, my satisfaction was a 10! It reaffirmed for me what I am teaching you guys. Mindful eating is a key part of your intuitive eating journey.


I’m not making this up. It really feels good. It is amazing! I am worth the time it takes to take care of me and to honor my body. YOU are worth the time too. All your other work and errands will get done. You have one body. Treat it well and it will treat you well.


Please share your mindful eating experiences below.

People Pleasing and Putting Yourself First

Woman with healthy skin and towel on headWhen you are on an airplane and the emergency procedures are being explained, do you notice they tell you to always put your oxygen mask on first before helping others?  The reason you are told to do that is so that you are able to help others.  If you disregard your mask and try to help your children or loved ones instead, you would pass out and be of no use to anyone.


This is a good metaphor for those of you who do not take the time to take care of yourself in life.  When you are too busy running around and doing for everyone else, it is easy to become drained, sick or resentful.  By taking time to care for yourself, you are actually helping to be more present for your loved ones.  It may seem like your needs are not as important as those around you, but again, if your needs are not met, how can you be the best you can be for everyone in your life.


The other thing is, the people in your life want to see you happy and fulfilled.  If you feel like they may not be supportive of you taking time for yourself, explain to them how meeting your needs will make you better at helping them with theirs.  They will also enjoy seeing you happier and calmer, rather than the stressed and snippy you that might come out when you are doing for everyone else and not tending to yourself.


Worse yet, what if being a people pleaser is actually harming your health?  Weight gain, high blood sugar, and elevated blood pressure are all physical side effects of neglecting yourself in order to please others.


Eating healthy is one of the first things to go when you are taking care of everyone around you but you.  You might find yourself saying you do not have time to plan or make your meals and snacks because you are busy making your children’s.  Or, perhaps you are on the go all day running from place to place that you forget to eat and find yourself ravenous at the end of the night when everyone is tucked into bed.  Being healthy is its own type of oxygen mask.  A healthy you breeds healthier individuals around you, which is a win-win for everyone!


If you need help finding ways to take care of yourself, check out my recent blog post 10 Ways to Combat Stress!  Remember, your loved ones need you, but they need you to be happy and healthy more than anything.

Your turn to take action:  What will you do to take better care of yourself?