Tag Archive for: hunger and fullness signals

4 Tips to Honor Your Fullness

One of the biggest lies diet culture pushes onto you is that there is an exact calorie or amount of food you should be eating every day. Diet culture also tells you to use outside sources to help guide your eating. Whether it’s tracking calories, points, macros, or using food lists or pre-made meal plans—these are all outside sources telling you “How much to eat”.

 

But guess what? You don’t need anything or anyone telling you when or how much to eat. You have the tools built inside of you, better known as your hunger fullness cues. These are innate feelings that tell you exactly when to start and stop eating. However, the feelings of hunger and fulness can be interrupted by long standing diets!

 

Can Hunger and Fullness Signals Return

 

The answer is yes. Once you ditch the diets and outside rules and learn to tune inward, you can reignite your inner cues!

 

I have found with my clients that attuning to hunger cues happens a bit quicker than fullness cues. There are many perceived barriers and social pressures that can cause you to eat passed the point of comfort. Perhaps you eat out of obligation and feel it would be rude to your hostess by not eating everything on the plate. Or you are distracted when eating out socially and miss that point of comfortable fullness. Or even still, you are really enjoying your meal and don’t want it to end.

 

4 Tips to Honor Your Fullness:

 

1: Be patient

 

When I talk about patience, I am referring to both patience as you eat your meal, and patience in your expectations of when you will attune to the signal.

 

In the fast-paced society we will live in, it’s easy to speed through your meal to get to the next task. Be kind to yourself, and your body, and make it a goal to slow down and not rush through the meal, be patient. Give yourself plenty of time to focus on what you are eating, savoring every bite. In this way, you will pick up your fullness signals more so than if you just focus on finishing the food on your plate.

 

You’ll also want to practice patience when it comes to actually hearing your fullness signals. It will take time for you to attune to it, especially if you’ve been dieting for a long time. There is no rush, it will come!

 

2: Check-in with Yourself

 

If you never pause to check it with how you are feeling, how will you learn to pick up the signals of your body. It’s important to periodically check in and ask yourself if you are getting less hungry and if fullness is starting to emerge. If you are still hungry, by all means continue eating. And if you are starting to feel full, perhaps now is a good time to consider finishing the meal. You are in charge.

 

3: Leave the Clean the Plate Club

 

This is one membership that does not have your best interest at heart. If you are finishing your plate because you are part of the clean the plate club, it’s time to re-evaluate. There are any number of reasons why you are a member of this club, but realizing the damage it’s caused you will help you respect the feelings of fullness you experience during the meal. You don’t have to throw away food! You can always save it for later or the next day. Just imagine how delicious it will taste when you are hungry again.

 

4: Set up a Positive Home Environment

 

Make your home a place for success by clearing space at a table for mealtime. When you have a designated area to eat your meals at, you are more likely to focus on the food in front of you. This space should be free of distractions like television and computers.

 

I recognize that it might take a while for your signals to reappear, and for you to trust them. Take your time, be patient, and enjoy the ride!

4 Tips to Cooking (and Eating) Intuitively During Passover and Easter

This weekend, people all over the world will be celebrating Passover and Easter. And as per usual, with the holidays comes an abundance of food. For some people, this is exciting and something they look forward to. After all, most holidays have traditional foods that only come around this time of year.

 

But for so many others, the holidays with all the food favorites cause quite a bit of worry, and maybe even fear. Why the fear, you might ask?

 

Unfortunately, the diet industry has taught you to not trust yourself with food. So you have so much doubt as to whether you will be able to enjoy eating without the guilt. This is magnified when there are so many options on the table, it gets downright overwhelming. Oftentimes, even one bite of a food you think is “forbidden” will lead to a “throwing in the towel” and “I’ll start again after the holiday” mentality.

 

Every year I tell myself that next year I will prepare less food, and yet that never seems to happen. As a hostess, I want to be sure everyone has the foods they love and look forward to. But as I begin cooking for this holiday, I am keeping 4 things in mind that I hope will be helpful for you as well.

 

  1. Listen to My “Gut” Instinct

 

I’m pretty good at “going with my gut”. And my gut tells me that I absolutely do not need 3 mains, 4 salads, 5 sides, and 3 desserts. So, I have written my initial menu, reviewed it, and asked myself which dishes my guests, and myself, will really love this holiday. And then I cut down the menu.

 

Items that I can make all year round don’t need to be on this holiday menu! Take roasted red potatoes for example. We love them, but we eat them all year round. So instead of potatoes as a side dish, we will have Matzo Farfel Ring (recipe on page 69 of my book Passover the Healthy Way) which is a traditional Passover recipe for my family (reminds me of my grandma. I can still picture her standing at my stove making the farfel).

 

  1. Trust My Family

 

I want my family and guests to enjoy the holiday food. But that doesn’t mean that they expect an entire smorgasbord. My son will often tell me “mom, there’s no room on the table anymore.” So, I am taking this to heart and will trust that whatever I make, will be enough.

 

  1. Trust Myself

 

A challenge for many people is staying fully present when eating socially, especially when there’s a lot of people and the meals stretch on and on. I get this!

 

My best suggestion is to set an intention before going into the holiday meal. Reminding yourself that you will check in with yourself and your hunger/fullness signals, without judgement.

 

Listen, there are times that I walk away from a holiday meal feeling a bit overfull. Yes, this happens to seasoned Intuitive Eaters as well. Sometimes it’s a conscious decision to want to eat a bit more, and sometimes it’s not.

 

At the end of the day, remember, there’s no perfection in Intuitive Eating. Trust that you will do the best that you can in the moment. I do.

 

  1. Make Intuitive Decisions Around Eating

 

While food is an important part of many celebrations, it’s not the reason for the celebration.

 

This year, the Passover Seder starts quite late (since we changed the clocks), which means by the time we get up to the “eating the meal” part of the Haggadah, it will be late. I have cut down my menu drastically because intuitively, I know that I (and the rest of my family) don’t prefer to eat heavy meals so late at night. It just doesn’t sit right in my/our gut.

 

This decision is allowing me to focus on the reason we are coming together for the Passover holiday. It’s not about the food at all.

 

Wishing you a wonderful Passover and Easter Holiday!

 

Please share with me your biggest takeaway in the comments below.

 

The 3 Biggest Mistakes that Keep You Yo-Yo Dieting

It’s really tough to stop dieting when you’ve been dieting for so long. Even if you intellectually know that the diets have never “worked” long term for you, you are still afraid to stop.

 

This isn’t your fault. The diet industry has you believing that you have failed the diets, yet it is the other way around. The diets have failed you.

 

The data is strong. Ninety-five to 98% of dieters regain the weight they lost within 1-5 years and 1/3-2/3’s regain even more. Are you included in this statistic?

 

Weight cycling (losing and gaining, losing and gaining) is more detrimental to your health than staying at a stable weight even if that weight is “higher” than what society deems “acceptable”.

 

Yet, you continue to diet.

 

There are 3 big mistakes that keep you yo-yo dieting.

 

Here they are:

 

Mistake #1: You are Stuck in Diet Mentality

Diets can be very tempting as they promise to help you see results quickly or with a magical ingredient that helps you lose weight without even trying. Even if you think you’ve given up dieting, keep in mind that the diet mentality is very sneaky and can show up in ways you wouldn’t have thought.

For example, if you skip carbs at dinner because you ate them for breakfast and lunch, you are still dieting. If you eat a smaller lunch because you ate a larger breakfast, you are still dieting. If you skip the cocktail hour at the wedding for fear you will overeat, you are still dieting. The list goes on and on.

See if you can identify the ways the diet mentality is sneaking up on you.

 

Mistake #2: You Put Your Self-Care on the Back Burner

In the hustle and bustle of day-to-day responsibilities, do you often forget to take the time to care for yourself? Do you feel guilty if you do take care of your own needs?

I get it. You have people that rely on you. But the problem is that when you tend to others needs and ignore your own, you are serving from an empty vessel. Instead, if you fill up your own cup first, you are serving others from a place of abundance.

It’s not being selfish to take care of yourself. Does it take practice? Yes, for some people more than others. But that’s okay. You have to start somewhere.

What is one act of self-care that you will start doing for yourself?

 

Mistake #3: You Don’t Trust Your Inner Wisdom

You were born knowing exactly how to eat. We all were. But over the years, you’ve moved away from listening to that inner wisdom and instead, allowed diets and gurus to tell you what, when and how much to eat. This caused you to lose trust in yourself.

But you know what? You can learn to trust again. It takes practice, support and accountability. And it takes someone who cares about you to guide the way.

 

Let’s stop making these mistakes. Start by popping your name and email in the boxes below to Break the Spell of Diets in 3 Days.

 

Let me know if you have any questions along the way.

 

 

5 Tips to Eat Slower

In today’s fast paced society, it’s only natural that we rush around trying to get everything done before the day is over. You rush to work, school, and everywhere else you must go. You probably even rush through lunch to get back to your busy day at work.

 

While moving fast may be a necessity for your work and overall lifestyle, eating fast is not the best for your health and body and can quickly lead to bypassing your comfortable fullness signals.

 

Think back to your last meal… did you inhale it or take the time to enjoy every bite?   How long do you think it took you to finish your meal? If it’s less than 20 minutes, then keep reading.

 

If you feel like you’re the only person who does this, you’re not! Most people devour their meals in about 5 -7 minutes flat. They put a forkful of food in their mouths and, before they even swallow, the next forkful is ready to go. Do you find yourself doing this too?

 

Downside of Eating Fast

When you eat fast, it becomes difficult to savor your meals.  You’re not able to truly listen to your body and engage in mindful eating. Slowing down as you eat will allow you to really taste every bite and get the most satisfaction out of the meal as possible.

 

Eating quickly also prevents you from eating until you are comfortably satisfied because you don’t pay attention to your inner fullness signals. Instead, you’ll eat until the food is gone.

 

It takes your brain 20 minutes to realize that your stomach is full, so if you clean your plate in record time, you likely miss that fullness cue, leading you to reach for more food. By the time the fullness signals kicks in, you are now uncomfortably full, having eaten more than your body physically needed. You are likely also experiencing bloat, heartburn and other uncomfortable GI symptoms (in addition to the emotional side effects of guilt and shame).

 

5 Tips to Help You Slow Down Your Eating:

1. Allocate a certain amount of time to sit down and eat your meal. Allow your body to guide when you begin your meal, but when you do sit down to your meal, make sure you have enough time to sit, eat slowly and savor. This doesn’t only apply to dinner, it applies to breakfast and lunch too!

 

2. Put your fork and knife down between bites. You might be thinking “who does this”? Unfortunately, not too many people, unless you are among the growing number of people who are learning to eat mindfully. This means completely putting the fork down on your plate until you’re done chewing what’s in your mouth. Then pick up the fork and take your next bite. This allows you to focus on the deliciousness of the food in your mouth rather than focusing on the next bite.

 

3. Eat without distractions (meaning no T.V. or phone). We all know how difficult this one can be. I suggest making your kitchen/dining room an electronic-free zone! If your phone is in another room, then you are not tempted to look at it when you hear that notification. Make sure the kids know too that mealtime is not tech time.

 

4. Use your non-dominant hand to hold the fork. This is a simple way to help you slow down. Since your non-dominant hand is usually weaker, you’ll have to pick up smaller forkfuls and really concentrate to keep food from spilling over.

 

5. Eat with someone else. Ask a family member or friend to help you reach your goal of slowing down at meals! You can engage in meaningful conversations between bites and, before you know it, you’ll realize you are engaging in many of the tips stated above.

 

Challenge yourself

Set the timer on your phone and see how long it normally takes you to finish a meal. It might be 5 minutes and you might think that stretching it out to 20 is impossible. It’s not! Continue to use the tips above every time you sit to eat to help lengthen your meal minute-by-minute. Before long, you will be eating slower and using your inner fullness signals to guide you when to stop. And, you’ll enjoy your meal a whole lot better.

 

If you’d like to explore how I can help you on your intuitive eating journey, just reach out to me at www.TalkWithBonnie.com .

 

5 Steps to a Diet-Free Commitment this Year

Happy New Year! I’m excited that it’s a new year…there is so much that I want to do in 2019. First and foremost, on the TOP of my list is to spend more time with my kids and grandchildren. Every time I see my yummy grandsons (Evan, 5 years old and Zach, 3 years old), my heart lights up!

 

In truth, I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like mostly due to my and my husband’s work schedules, and the work schedules of my son and daughter-in-law. And, it doesn’t help that they, and my other married son live across 2 bridges. But I always say that we have to count our blessings and I am thankful that I don’t have to get on a plane to see them!

 

 

Sometimes there are barriers to achieving the things we really want in life. If we let those barriers hold us back, then we will rarely achieve our goals. It’s important to do what is within our power to make happen what we want to happen.

 

The Number One Barrier to a Healthy Relationship with Food and Your Body

 

Right now, during the first week of January, the number one barrier to you creating a healthy relationship with food and your body is the slew of dieting ads and commercials that promise you the weight loss you so desire.

 

You may not see it this way. Perhaps you are reading these ads and thinking “this will be the diet that works for me.” And just like that, you hold yourself back from finally finding freedom from the battle with food and your body that you’ve been living with for years.

 

Busting through the Diet Temptation Barrier

 

I promise you that dieting is not going to bring you any peace in your life. All that dieting will do is keep you on the roller coaster of restriction – binge eating – guilt – shame.

 

If dieting was the answer, it would have “worked” a long time ago.

 

So, how do you bust through this temptation to do “just one more diet”?

 

First and foremost, I want you to know that I understand the temptation to try that one last diet. I’ve been there before, so I really do get it. Here are 5 steps to help you commit to being diet-free in 2019!

 

  1. Take a few minutes tonight and sit with yourself quietly. Be sure that you are relaxed, not hungry, and tell your family that you don’t want to be interrupted for at least 30 minutes. You’ll need to have a pad and pen handy.

 

  1. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and ask yourself the following questions:
  • What has been the emotional cost of all my years of dieting? (examples – depression, anxiety, poor body image etc.)
  • What has been the relationship cost of all my years of dieting? (examples – lost friendships, broken relationships, social anxiety etc.)
  • What has been the health cost of all my years of dieting? (Example – blood sugar swings, elevated blood pressure, hair falling out, menstrual irregularities, GI trouble etc.)

 

After each question, open your eyes and begin writing. Don’t edit your words, just write.

 

  1. Read your responses to each question OUT LOUD (this part is really crucial), and now ask yourself this last MOST IMPORTANT question:

 

If I don’t break this chronic dieting pattern, how will that affect my future and that of my daughters (and sons) who are watching me and learning from me?

 

  1. Declare “I am committed to never dieting again!”.

 

  1. Click HERE to schedule a quick complementary call with me to get started on your intuitive eating journey in 2019!

 

You don’t need to walk this journey alone, nor should you. We all need support along the way. I’m here for you if you are ready. Are you ready? Let me know in the comments below!

I’ve Already Tried Intuitive Eating, and It Didn’t Work

I’ve heard it many times! Women who are skeptical about intuitive eating. They tell me they’ve tried it and it didn’t work. But did they really try it?

 

Or, were they just treating it like another diet?

 

You likely know by now that there are no rules in intuitive eating. As a matter of fact, one of the first things I do with my clients is help them kick all those diet food rules to the curb. However, it’s possible that, unbeknownst to you, you have created rules around intuitive eating.

 

I must eat ONLY when I am hungry.

I must ALWAYS stop eating when I am satisfied, and not full.

I must ALWAYS feel my feelings.

I must ALWAYS eat at the table without distraction.

 

And, you think:

If I don’t do these things all the time and do them perfectly, then I have failed at intuitive eating.

 

This sounds like a diet to me, with a long set of rules (oh, there are a lot more, I just kept it to these 4 for now!).

 

This is the Intuitive Eating Diet!

 

I don’t blame you. Many times, women (and of course some men) tell me they are ready to give up dieting and work towards intuitive eating. And to them, that means eating when hungry and stopping when full. They ask me to teach them how to do this again, because they haven’t heard their signals in a long time.

 

That is all well and good, and I am happy to help these women reacquaint themselves with their inner signals. The issue is that we cannot start at this point of hunger and fullness, because then it becomes the “Hunger-Fullness Diet”, aka The Intuitive Eating Diet.

 

So, where do you need to start?

 

At Step One – Shift Your Mindset

 

Shifting your mindset means moving away from the dieter’s mentality. And, this takes time, especially if you’ve been dieting for MANY years. And, that’s okay! There is no rush! Gift yourself with the time and patience to understand how your mindset got to where it is today and to learn the strategies you need to make this shift.

 

This is more than just knowing what diet food rules never worked for you. This is delving into your belief system. Really challenging yourself to understand what beliefs you’re holding onto that might be causing you to self-sabotage….over and over again.

 

These beliefs were born from messages you were given years ago. You’ve assumed them to be true, and they have been driving your actions all these years from your subconscious mind. Once you can change those beliefs, you will see and feel the mindset shift that is so key for your intuitive eating journey.

 

Is this difficult to do?

 

You may think so. And, you may say it’s just easier to go on a diet (even though diets have never worked for you, and you’re pretty sure they never will). But it’s safer. If this is the case, can you now understand why saying “I’ve Already Tried Intuitive Eating, and It Didn’t Work” doesn’t hold any water?

 

If you are ready to do the deeper inner work necessary to change your relationship with food and your body, just head on over to http://TalkWithBonnie.com and let’s set up a time to speak.

 

Have you been on the ‘Intuitive Eating Diet’? Comment below!