Posts

3 Ways to Push Past Fear (So it No Longer Holds You Back)

Fear is a paralyzing feeling. It keeps you from trying new experiences, making change and truly living a fulfilling life.

 

Fear is real. Nobody should make you feel “less than” for having fear. On the contrary, if someone really cares about you, they should help you overcome your fear.

 

In my world of working with chronic dieters and emotional eaters, the two big fears I hear almost daily is giving up the food rules and the fear of failing at intuitive eating.

 

No More Food Rules?

Giving up dieting means that you no longer follow external rules of “eat this, not that, in this way, at this time”. Yikes, that’s a scary thought. For decades you’ve been following the rules of what and how to eat by some arbitrary source other than yourself. So the thought of not having this direction is scary.

 

“How will I know what to eat?”

“How will I know when to eat?”

“How will I know how much to eat?”

 

Great questions! You will instinctively know the answer to each of these questions once you learn to listen to your innate body wisdom. This will take time. But it is possible.

 

Fear of Failing

The fear of failing is real. I know it. You’ve been on countless diets and while you may have had some success, as measured only by weight loss, that success was short-lived. Yet, you repeated the cycle over and over again, and each time, you considered yourself a failure.

 

Who wants to experience failure?

 

No one!

 

Well, the beautiful part of intuitive eating is there’s no failure in intuitive eating. You are not on or off anything, so there’s no falling “off track” or “off the wagon”. There are no rules for you to feel like you are “breaking”. What you once thought of as a slip up is truly an opportunity of growth and moving forward.

 

Intuitive eating is a whole new way of looking at your relationship with food. I promise you, if you are willing to do the work, then you will not fail.

 

Food is meant to bring you pleasure, not torture. Don’t let fear hold you back.

 

3 Ways to Push Past the Fear

  1. Take a leap of faith. While the unknown is scary, it can also be exciting. Remind yourself that what you’ve been doing over and over again has not brought you the peace you want. But maybe, just maybe, it is within reach if you just take that leap of faith.

 

  1. Believe in yourself. You have been put on this earth for a purpose. Your food and body worry has taken up so much brain space and time that it is preventing you from living your purpose. Believe that you are capable of change and change will come.

 

  1. Just decide its time. Let this moment be the moment that you decide that its time to stop struggling. You’ve had enough, your done, and you are ready for the next chapter. Making a decision is powerful. Once you do it, the fear lifts up and floats away.

 

 Isn’t it time for you to put your fear behind you?

 

I vote yes. And I’m here to help you!

 

How to Push Through Fear

Fear, “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger” (Merriam-Webster) or “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Dictionary online).

 

If you stop and think about it for a moment, you probably have some fears in life. They can be related to traveling (flying in an airplane, driving on highways), animals (dogs, birds, insects), or relationships (commitment, marriage) to name a few.

 

But every day, I encounter clients and prospective clients that express fears related to two other things: food and change.

 

Food Fear

It’s not surprising to me that so many people have food fear. Food fears can be targeted at specific foods (i.e. pastries, chips) or whole food categories (i.e. breads and grains). They can relate to situations such as going to a party (“I won’t be able to resist the cake”) or meeting friends for dinner at a restaurant (“There are too many options, I’ll be tempted to order something not on the “light menu”).

 

How Does Food Fear Develop?

 

Well, typically they develop from messages you’ve received around these foods. These can be messages from members of your family, friends, or even health professionals. If your mom was a chronic dieter and she’d make statements such as “I can’t eat x” or “I gained 5 pounds just from eating y last night”, you internalized these messages and with repetition, they became your beliefs.

 

Food fears also develop from what you hear in the media, read in the newspaper,  and see in advertisements. Let’s face it, there is always someone touting the next great miracle to lose weight and it usually includes demonizing certain foods and/or food groups.

 

How Do You Heal from these Beliefs and Food Fears?

 

Bear with me, I’ll answer that question soon. First I want to address the second fear I revealed above: fear of change.

 

Fear of Change

 

Just the other day my hairdresser was telling me that the salon is moving down the block. She was upset. I asked her why. She said, “I don’t like change”.

 

Yes, change is hard. But if you have been engaging in the same behaviors for years without seeing results, then continuing these behaviors isn’t going to change anything. You cannot continue doing the same things and expect different results. That’s the definition of insanity (according to Albert Einstein)!

 

So, let’s dig a little bit here. What are you afraid of?

 

It could be a fear of actually NOT dieting anymore. It’s comfortable to diet. Well, what I mean is its familiar to you. You know what to expect, it’s safe for you. Diets tell you what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. You don’t need to make any decisions.

 

But let me ask you. Is this how you want to live your life? Or, do you want to be in charge of your own body and your food choices?

 

Perhaps it’s fear of success? I know, at first this sounds odd, doesn’t it? But take a moment and give thought to this one. Are you afraid to succeed for some reason? What reason might that be? Perhaps lack of confidence that you won’t be able to sustain this way of eating and living. Perhaps fear of achieving the body you’ve always wanted but you don’t want the attention this new body will bring you.

 

If you don’t learn to change old habits to make way for the new, you’ll never achieve the results you so desperately want.

 

Healing from Your Food Fears and Fear of Change

 

To heal from your food fears, you must first recognize what your beliefs are around these foods. To do that, you need to identify the negative messages you received and at what stage of your life you received them. And, from whom did you receive these messages? Then, and only then, can you work towards overturning these messages, beliefs and ultimately be at peace with food (and your body!)

 

To overcome your fear of change, you need to uncover the real reason why you are resisting change.  Realize that change will not happen unless you become just a little uncomfortable now in order to change your future. What is at the root of your fear of change and why you are so resistant to it?

 

If you’re like most of the woman I speak with, you’ve been working at breaking free of dieting for a while. You’ve researched the topic, spoken with coaches, downloaded materials and have read it over and over again. Yet, you are still stuck.

 

If you’d like me to help you get unstuck, I invite you to hop on a call with me and let’s discuss the possibilities. Get a spot on my calendar HERE.

 

Don’t see a time that works for you? No problem. Email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com