Posts

How to Push Through Fear

Fear, “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger” (Merriam-Webster) or “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” (Dictionary online).

 

If you stop and think about it for a moment, you probably have some fears in life. They can be related to traveling (flying in an airplane, driving on highways), animals (dogs, birds, insects), or relationships (commitment, marriage) to name a few.

 

But every day, I encounter clients and prospective clients that express fears related to two other things: food and change.

 

Food Fear

It’s not surprising to me that so many people have food fear. Food fears can be targeted at specific foods (i.e. pastries, chips) or whole food categories (i.e. breads and grains). They can relate to situations such as going to a party (“I won’t be able to resist the cake”) or meeting friends for dinner at a restaurant (“There are too many options, I’ll be tempted to order something not on the “light menu”).

 

How Does Food Fear Develop?

 

Well, typically they develop from messages you’ve received around these foods. These can be messages from members of your family, friends, or even health professionals. If your mom was a chronic dieter and she’d make statements such as “I can’t eat x” or “I gained 5 pounds just from eating y last night”, you internalized these messages and with repetition, they became your beliefs.

 

Food fears also develop from what you hear in the media, read in the newspaper,  and see in advertisements. Let’s face it, there is always someone touting the next great miracle to lose weight and it usually includes demonizing certain foods and/or food groups.

 

How Do You Heal from these Beliefs and Food Fears?

 

Bear with me, I’ll answer that question soon. First I want to address the second fear I revealed above: fear of change.

 

Fear of Change

 

Just the other day my hairdresser was telling me that the salon is moving down the block. She was upset. I asked her why. She said, “I don’t like change”.

 

Yes, change is hard. But if you have been engaging in the same behaviors for years without seeing results, then continuing these behaviors isn’t going to change anything. You cannot continue doing the same things and expect different results. That’s the definition of insanity (according to Albert Einstein)!

 

So, let’s dig a little bit here. What are you afraid of?

 

It could be a fear of actually NOT dieting anymore. It’s comfortable to diet. Well, what I mean is its familiar to you. You know what to expect, it’s safe for you. Diets tell you what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. You don’t need to make any decisions.

 

But let me ask you. Is this how you want to live your life? Or, do you want to be in charge of your own body and your food choices?

 

Perhaps it’s fear of success? I know, at first this sounds odd, doesn’t it? But take a moment and give thought to this one. Are you afraid to succeed for some reason? What reason might that be? Perhaps lack of confidence that you won’t be able to sustain this way of eating and living. Perhaps fear of achieving the body you’ve always wanted but you don’t want the attention this new body will bring you.

 

If you don’t learn to change old habits to make way for the new, you’ll never achieve the results you so desperately want.

 

Healing from Your Food Fears and Fear of Change

 

To heal from your food fears, you must first recognize what your beliefs are around these foods. To do that, you need to identify the negative messages you received and at what stage of your life you received them. And, from whom did you receive these messages? Then, and only then, can you work towards overturning these messages, beliefs and ultimately be at peace with food (and your body!)

 

To overcome your fear of change, you need to uncover the real reason why you are resisting change.  Realize that change will not happen unless you become just a little uncomfortable now in order to change your future. What is at the root of your fear of change and why you are so resistant to it?

 

If you’re like most of the woman I speak with, you’ve been working at breaking free of dieting for a while. You’ve researched the topic, spoken with coaches, downloaded materials and have read it over and over again. Yet, you are still stuck.

 

If you’d like me to help you get unstuck, I invite you to hop on a call with me and let’s discuss the possibilities. Get a spot on my calendar HERE.

 

Don’t see a time that works for you? No problem. Email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com

 

Intuitive Eating Doesn’t Mean Disregard Nutrition

Okay, this is a serious topic for me. As a registered dietitian nutritionist I believe in honoring one’s body though nutrition and movement. This means thinking about the foods you eat in terms of how it helps your body function on a daily basis as well as how you move your body to keep your joints and muscles supple and your bones strong.

 

As an advocate of intuitive eating and a certified intuitive eating counselor, I help clients incorporate gentle nutrition and joyful movement into their practice, when the time is right.

 

What do I mean “when the time is right?”

 

Most, if not all, of my clients are coming to me with a disordered eating background. They are chronic dieters, going on and off diets to find the “perfect” diet to help them get their “perfect” body. Along with the diet is excessive exercise. They spent hours in the gym or in some other form of exercise for the sake of burning calories and losing weight.

 

For these clients, it’s most important to help them shift their mindset and change their relationship with food and their bodies before we talk about gentle nutrition and joyful movement. For these clients, it is very important that they learn to lift the food restrictions and take ALL conditions off their food in order to make peace with food.

 

And that often means eating foods that you might think are not “nourishing” for the body. But you are accomplishing something very important when you do this. You are making all foods emotionally equal, taking foods that once were on that mighty pedestal DOWN!

 

“How can you tell people to eat donuts, croissants and ice cream? You are a registered dietitian nutritionist!” is a question that I do get, thankfully not as often anymore. But it is a question that opponents to intuitive eating are often asking (not so kindly I might add). They think intuitive eating totally disregards nutrition.

 

This is not so!

 

If you are one of those people who think that, listen up.

 

Intuitive eating does NOT say “eat whatever you want, whenever you want it”. This is a misconception.

 

Intuitive eating is not about instant gratification. I see the donut, I want the donut, I eat the donut.

 

Nope! That’s not what intuitive eating is about.

 

Intuitive eating encourages you to stop and think about the foods you are choosing and how it feels in your body. It encourages you to discover what foods satisfy you more, sustain you longer and help your body function better. And, it does all this WITHOUT RULES of “eat this and don’t eat that.”

 

My intuitive eating work with clients is based on a foundation of 3 essential ingredients:

  1. A Healthy Mindset
  2. Caring Support
  3. Nutrition Education

 

Yes, nutrition is important. But a healthy mindset needs to be in place along with a support system and self-care practices. Then, and only then, are you ready for gentle nutrition.

 

If you’d like more information on working with me to incorporate these 3 essential ingredients into your intuitive eating journey, contact me HERE. There’s no time like the present!

 

 

You Are Worthy of a Sit-Down Meal

I have a question for you…  When it’s time to eat, do you put your food on your plate and sit down to eat, or do you stand at the counter and pick at the food until you’ve had enough?

 

I’ve had a number of clients tell me they are not worthy of a sit down meal.  They do not think they deserve to enjoy their meal in a pleasant environment, free of distractions.

 

Let’s take a look back to your past and figure out where this belief might have originated.

  • Is it something you saw mom or grandmother doing?

 

  • Is it something you were lead to believe by someone you trusted?

 

  • Were you ever told that you “shouldn’t” be eating because you are “fat”?

 

While it’s important to understand the origin of this belief, please know this…

  

You deserve to eat, every meal of the day, every day. And, you deserve to sit down and enjoy your meal and savor each bite.

 

Plating Your Meals Throughout the Day

You may say that you have no time to plate your meals, that you are busy, constantly on-the-go and it’s just easier to grab when you can, or just graze throughout the day. I get being busy, but it’s all about priorities. You CAN restructure your day to include meal time. This means you sit at the table with a plate of food and enjoy it in good company.

 

Let’s start with Breakfast:

Instead of eating breakfast in the car, wake up a few minutes earlier and plan to sit at the kitchen table to enjoy your breakfast. To make this even easier, prepare what you can the night before so you have less steps to do in the morning.

 

Then there’s Lunch:

Instead of eating lunch at your desk, schedule 30 minutes into your schedule to leave your office to eat lunch. Maybe there’s a break room at work, a local park with picnic tables, or on the occasion, a nearby restaurant you can eat at. Your meal times can be a good time to reflect and really tune into what your body is telling you.

 

No More Dinner Grazing:

  • Believe that you are worthy of eating a well-balanced dinner, sitting at your table. Make it a point to finish cooking, plate your food and sit down.

 

  • Put a nice tablecloth on your dining table and use a nice china plate instead of a paper plate.

 

  • Savor every bite. Really tune into the taste, texture and flavor of the food you are eating. Be fully present.By actively savoring each bite, you will find yourself more satisfied with your meal rather than when you pick at food mindlessly.

 

Plating and sitting down to your meals throughout the day will help you feel more satisfied and you won’t find yourself searching for food during the day and night.

 

If you truly have trouble with this, dive deeper to uncover your limiting beliefs around your worthiness to eat. If you need help, just reach out to me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com

 

 

New Year, More Mindfulness

Whenever the New Year nears, it’s all about “New Year, New Me”.  The “new me” is usually associated with joining the gym and going on a crash diet, all to lose a few pounds.  Instead of starting your New Year off with enjoyment and ready to tackle what comes your way, you’re starting it off with food restrictions and stress about going to the gym and “needing” to lose the weight.

 

Why do you associate the New Year with weight loss?

 

Let’s try something different this New Year and reframe your thought process.  Change your “New Year, New Me” mentality into “New Year, More Mindfulness”.  By taking a step back from focusing solely on weight loss and what your body looks like, you’ll develop a greater appreciation for what your body is capable of and what it needs to be its best.

 

Here are 5 tips on how to, or continue to, be mindful in the New Year:

 

  1. Recommit to your diet-free journey. Remind yourself why you began your intuitive eating journey, or are planning to begin it. Then every time another commercial hits the airwaves, an email pops up in your inbox or your friend chews your ear off with the new diet she is on, quietly repeat this mantra to yourself “I have committed to a diet-free life. I rock!”

 

  1. State your New Year intention. Set a clear intention about what you want to experience in 2017 and what steps you will take to reach your goals. Write down your big intention and keep it in a visible spot around your home.  Reflect back on it throughout the year when you need a reminder about what you want to accomplish by 2018!!

 

  1. Listen to your body. Instead of focusing on the weight you “need” to lose and restricting your favorite foods, focus on listening to your body. What is your body trying to tell you?  Does it want you to stop dieting?  Does it want you to feed it nourishing meals?  By taking the time to listen to your body, you’ll develop a stronger relationship with it and you’ll learn to love your body.

 

  1. Practice moderation, not deprivation. You may feel like you need to deprive yourself to avoid weight gain, but that’s not true. When you deprive yourself, the backlash is overeating and bingeing.  If you take the time to listen to your body and savor each bite, you’ll find you are satisfied with smaller portions.

 

  1. Avoid celebrating with food. Whenever something good happens in life, birthday, promotion, anniversary, etc., going out to eat is the common way to celebrate. But, if you’re struggling with your relationship with food, this can be a difficult time.  Instead of going out to eat to celebrate an occasion, find another way to celebrate that makes you feel comfortable and happy,

 

By becoming more mindful of your body and what your body needs, you’ll be able to give your body what it wants.  With mindfulness, you’ll learn to become an intuitive eater.  You’ll be able to avoid overeating, feeding your emotions and loving your body once again.

 

If you want to talk, just contact me here.

 

Can I Fail on My Intuitive Eating Journey?

No failures in IEI was thinking about a conversation I had with a new client a few weeks ago. She was really fed up with dieting and was looking for a solution to help her finally be at peace with food and her body.  We talked about the process of intuitive eating and it resonated with her greatly, but she had one big fear:  would she fail at this process, like she failed at dieting?

 

Her fear of failure was initially holding her back from saying yes to embarking on the intuitive eating process.  So we talked about that fear and one of the things I helped her to understand is that you cannot fail at intuitive eating.

 

You see, dieting is something you go on and you go off. Dieting is what actually triggers overeating.  Dieting is what causes the feelings of failure.

 

With intuitive eating, there is no failure. Intuitive eating is this process where you’re learning to become an intuitive eater, which is an ability you are born with.  That ability is already within you.   Every step along the path, is a lesson learned.  Every experience you have will be another lesson learned.

 

So what you might have thought of as a “failure” or “setback” on your diet, is now going to be thought of as a lesson learned.  Its growth and progress.

 

If you can view the process of intuitive eating from this place, a place of growth, a place of learning new things and new experiences, it will help propel you forward towards reclaiming being an intuitive eater. Here you will realize that you will always learn something from the process and you will never fail.

 

Once my client realized that she is not embarking on another diet, she realized she cannot fail on this journey.  This process is not something that ends.  You learn to live as an intuitive eater, it’s a practice.

 

And so when there is no endpoint, there’s no failure and no fear that’s attached to that.

 

Once she was able to let go of that fear, she was able to say “YES, let’s do this.  Let’s go on this journey together so I can reclaim being an intuitive eater”. She’s on that journey now and really enjoying it.

 

I say the same to you.

 

There are lessons learned in every experience you have on this intuitive eating journey.

 

If you come upon an obstacle or you think you have fallen off the wagon, let’s change that thought process and just think of it as a lesson learned that’s given you growth so you can continue along your journey.

 

As always, if you need me, I am here.

 

 

There’s No All or Nothing in Intuitive Eating

cakeI recently had a client share her success story.  Let’s call her Susan. Susan was at an office party when two delicious looking cakes were served.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to resist trying the cakes, so she took a small piece of each on her plate.  She ate a few bites of the chocolate cake, then a few bites of the white cream cake, and something amazing happened!

 

She didn’t feel the need to eat more! She was shocked. She was practicing mindfulness around her eating and she savored each bite and she was satisfied before she polished off both pieces.

 

This. Never. Happened. To. Her. Before.

 

How did she do this you ask?

 

By using the intuitive eating strategies that I am teaching her, she is learning to move away from the all or nothing way of thinking.  She didn’t feel guilty for indulging in a food she wanted.  She has made peace with food and has reaped the benefits which is showing up in so many ways in her life.

 

Had she found herself in this scenario a few months ago before we began working together, the outcome would have been different. The all or nothing thinking is part of a diet mentality and usually leads to overeating, followed by guilt, unhappiness, dieting, restriction, overeating etc.  It’s a vicious cycle.

 

Intuitive eating is tuning into what your body wants, even if it’s a slice of cake, and giving it what it wants.  If you listen to your body, you won’t feel the need to overeat and have guilt afterwards.  Your body will be happy it can enjoy the foods it wants.

 

You may be asking yourself, “How do I get myself to this point?”  The answer is to change your mindset.  You have to step away from the diet mentality of restricting certain foods or entire food groups.

 

The way to make peace with food is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you want. I know, this sounds like an opportunity to eat uncontrollably. And to be honest with you, some people use it as an excuse to do just that.

 

It’s a process my dear readers. It does not happen overnight. Those who work through the process with the support, encouragement, positive attitude and patience are the ones who will experience what Susan did. The intuitive eating process can help you transform your relationship with food, where you end the battle with food and your body and achieve great pleasure in eating once again.

 

Here are two steps you can take today to become and intuitive eater and change your mindset:

 

  1. Commit to saying goodbye to the dieting mindset! It is time to recognize that you can have your cake and eat it too. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

 

  1. Start tuning in and listening to your body. Your body gives you signals when it starts to get hungry and full. Tune into these signals to know when and what you should feed your body.  You’ll learn to eat what your body craves without overeating.

 

I am here to help you embark on this journey and break out of the dieting mindset.

 

If you’d like further individualized support, just fill out this risk free request form at www.TalkWithBonnie.com.

 

3 Reasons Why I Will Never Diet Again, and Neither Should You

3 Reasons whyI will never diet again. I say this with confidence. I know that diets don’t work. I also know that in my younger years, whenever I was on a diet, I was miserable. Oh, yes, I always lost weight on the diet, but then I gained that weight back.

 

If you are reading this blog, I bet you can relate. You are a dieter, a chronic dieter. Perhaps you are reading this after breaking your current diet and you are desperate to find another way. Or, you are reading this and you are at your goal weight, having lost the excess pounds by starving yourself, drinking shakes or eating “clean” but tasteless food.

 

Here are 3 reasons WHY I will never diet again and neither should you:

 

1. Diets cause you to think about food ALL. THE. TIME. What did I eat yesterday, what did I eat before, what am I eating now, what will I eat later, what will I eat tomorrow. Whew, that’s exhausting. Food should not be the center of your day, food should not encompass your entire brain. There is so much more to life that you can be doing than thinking about food all the time.

 

2. Diets cause you to feel guilty when you eat something you think you should not eat. The diet lists foods for you to choose and those to avoid. But what if you happen to want to eat a food that’s on the “avoid” list? Well, what usually happens when you are told you cannot have something? Yep, you want it more (everyone always gets this question right!) You can deny your desire for only so long. So you indulge and the guilty feelings and harsh self-talk start. Isn’t it time to put that to bed?

 

3. Diets cause you to lose trust in your own food decisions. Well, last I checked, I am the owner of my body, of my inner signals and my thoughts. I can certainly make decisions about what I want to eat. Don’t you think you should too?

 

These are only 3 reasons I will never diet again, and why you shouldn’t either. There are plenty more that perhaps I’ll discuss in another blog.

 

In the meantime, I would like to hear from you. Do you resonate with any of the side effects of dieting I discussed above? How will you break this vicious cycle? Let me know in the comments below.

 

And, come and join the discussion in my free private Facebook group where you’ll join women and men who are giving up dieting too. Click here to request free access.

 

 

 

Just One More Diet…Promise!

Obese woman-fad dietsHave you ever heard yourself say “let me just lose twenty pounds and then I’ll deal with my emotional eating”?

 

You go through the cycle of dieting and losing the weight and then gradually gain it back again and again. It’s a treacherous cycle that never ends. You get sucked into the latest diet claim and think to yourself “this is what’s finally going to help me lose the weight for good”.

 

What you don’t realize is it’s a trap.

 

I’d like you to consider the possibility that it’s not so much the FOOD that you’re eating that’s the problem, it’s the underlying reason WHY you are eating.

 

Even if you don’t follow a “fad diet”- even if you follow a healthy-well balanced, structured meal plan – there is only so long that this will “work” for you. It’s imperative to face head on the emotional reasons that trigger your eating.  These structured rules and standards of even a healthy eating plan will not continue to work for you until you dig deep into your relationship with food.

 

This means for some of you revisiting issues from your past. What were the food and body image messages that you were “fed” growing up? I know it’s easier to avoid going to these places, but it’s imperative if you are going to finally feel good about yourself and your body.

 

I ask you to step out of your comfort zone. Don’t let yourself fall into that trap again. Take a risk and trust a professional who is telling you to forget about the diets, and dare I say, your healthy eating plan (for now).

 

Ask yourself what you really want to accomplish? Is it to lose 20 pounds but deep in your heart know that you will regain them and continue on this dizzying diet cycle?

 

Or, do you want to finally come to peace with food?

 

I understand that you feel safe when you’re following a diet. But right now it’s important to be true to yourself.

 

If you are an emotional eater and you aren’t using your inner body wisdom to make your food decisions each and every day, AND you see food as your enemy instead of the fuel and nourishment it’s meant to be, it’s time to make a change.

 

Figure out what is standing in the way of you finally losing the weight for good; because that next diet won’t be your last.

 

Take action in ONE or ALL of several ways:

1) Download your Free e-book: 5 Steps to a Body You Love Without Dieting and get started on your journey.

2) Join other women on the same journey in our Free Online Community.

3) Set up a Break Free of Dieting Strategy Session with me (complementary) and see how I can best support you.

 

Celebrate International No Diet Day with Me!

Today is a very special day… it is International No Diet Day!

 

This day is very near and dear to my heart as it celebrates body acceptance, diversity, and of course saying “no” to diets. International No Diet Day was initiated by British author Mary Evans Young, a feminist who led an anti-diet movement in 1992 called “Diet Breakers”.
This day of banning diets began in the United Kingdom as a day to encourage accepting your body and loving yourself and it has spread internationally. It brings attention to the widespread body discrimination in the media, those who have suffered through eating disorders and extreme weight loss plans, and the faux results that diet plans and pills promote.
The truth is that fad diets, diet products, and the way body image is portrayed in the media are detrimental to forming healthy eating and lifestyle habits. Body discrimination can be seen all around, from advertisements showing off thin models to the current “fat acceptance” movement which is quite the opposite and celebrates curves while shaming smaller physiques.
Celebrating and loving your body and yourself is the drive behind much of the work I do. Rather than restricting yourself, focus on nourishing yourself. I stress this to all my clients. Self-care and loving yourself go hand in hand. Please stop comparing yourself to others! Embrace your uniqueness and celebrate your body by treating it with nourishing foods and mindfulness.
I realize this might be really tough for you, especially if you’ve been dieting for a long time. Diets feel safe to you and you might be afraid to stop dieting. It’s okay to let go….let’s do it together. Today is the day we can all come together a say NO MORE DIETING!

 

Take the “International No Diet Day Pledge”.

 

Repeat the following as many times as you need to:

“I will accept myself just as I am.
I will feed myself if hungry.
I will feel no shame or guilt about my size or eating.
…and I will LOVE MYSELF for who I am, not who I feel pressure to be!”

 

Please know that I am here for you if you need support. Just send me an email at bonnie@brghealth.com and let me know what you are struggling with.

 

Say NO to Diets in 2015

We are in the midst of the holiday season and I hope you are enjoying your time with family and friends in a mindful way. The music, decorations, lights, foods…what a wonderful time of year. My daughter told me the other day how she loves that the T.V. shows she likes to watch have a holiday theme…it makes her feel all cuddly and warm.

 

But as you celebrate the holidays, are you wondering about your next steps in 2015 in terms of your health and weight loss goals?

 

I’m sure you are being bombarded with diet commercials and advertisements on television, radio, magazines, newspapers and the internet. You may even be contemplating which diet to start on January 1st.

 

Let me make it easy for you.

 

Say NO to Diets in 2015!!

 

I feel like screaming this from the rooftops. I want to save the you time, energy and PAIN of starting another diet to just find yourself falling off that diet when you have a trigger and you can’t “follow” what the diet tells you to.

 

You know what I mean. I won’t belabor the point.

 

So, here is what I am going to do for you. I want to support  you on the path towards reclaiming what lies deep within you, and that is being an intuitive eater.  To that end, I am offering you a Free Say NO to Diets in 2015 Discovery Session.

 

In this Say NO to Diets in 2015 Discovery Session, I’ll help you:

  • Uncover the hidden challenges that are preventing you from achieving your weight loss goals.

 

  • Create a crystal clear vision of the life you will live once you make peace with food and enjoy guilt-free eating.

 

  • Set a plan for 2015 to start you on your journey towards intuitive eating.

 

All you have to do is Apply for one of these sessions by clicking HERE.

 

There are only 10 spots available, so hurry and apply now.

 

Deadline to apply is December 19, 2014.

 

Say NO to Diets in 2015 Discovery Session

 

Take advantage of this special opportunity to get my caring support on your journey!

 

Remember, there are only 10 spots open and you must apply by December 19th to be considered. I really want to help you so CLICK HERE and let’s get started!

 

I’ll let you know by December 22nd if you got a spot. Sessions will be scheduled for January so you’ll start 2015 off strong!

 

Click HERE now.