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Shutting Down the Food Police

Do you have a set of unreasonable rules that dieting has created? Is your head constantly filled with chanting words that promote or demote you from eating food that you love?

 

This is the “food police” voice that is constantly telling you what you should and shouldn’t eat. It’s sort of like the angel and the devil sitting on your shoulders, one telling you it’s okay to eat the chocolate cake, but the other yelling “NO” don’t do it.

 

Let’s say you decided to have that chocolate cake and the “devil” is sitting on your shoulder beaming with pride because you followed her advice. But, as soon as you eat that cake you feel guilty about the amount of calories and fat that you just consumed. Even though you enjoyed the chocolate cake, you still feel guilty.

 

Most chronic dieters have this sense of guilt each and every time they eat something that the “food police’ is saying they shouldn’t.

 

This is the voice that can make it hard to choose foods your body is really asking for.

 

The media and various companies place thoughts in your head related to nutrition and ways to “cheat” and make yourself feel guiltless because of the way these food items are advertised. The slogans and jingles are created to convince you that this cookie will prevent you from being “bad” on your diet, and will keep you on track.

 

These are the advertisements that cause you to have negative food thoughts and judgments towards food.

 

You are not born with these food judgments; you develop them over the years of dieting and being influenced by the media (or friends/family) penetrating these images of good vs. bad in your head.

 

The next time you pick up a food item that you enjoy and you contemplate “should I or shouldn’t I”, take a moment to listen to your body and the food talk going on in your head.

 

Push away the negative thoughts and change the tape that plays in your head. If this is a food that you truly desire, go ahead and enjoy it without guilt in a very mindful way. Eat the food slowly, truly savoring each bite. Put your fork down between each bite and let the food settle in your body. Describe the texture of the food? How does it taste? Are you enjoying each bite?

 

When you start to eat food mindfully, you’ll learn your true food preferences and be able to identify fullness more easily because you are giving your body the time to talk to you.

 

It is important to realize that this one food eaten in this one moment will not make you gain weight. You may actually find that you don’t love the chocolate cake as much as you thought you did.

 

Are you stuck in a dieter’s mindset due to your “food police” and negative self-talk? I can help you reframe that negative talk and turn it into something powerful. You can change your thoughts and get rid of the guilt around food!

 

Head over to TalkWithBonnie.com and answer a few questions – we’ll pick a time to talk that works best for you.

 

Here’s the BIG Difference Between Intuitive Eating and Dieting

Picture this: A new diet comes to market. It’s exciting; this will be the one. You start the diet and things are going well. But then you had a bad day at work, you went on vacation or you had a fight with your boyfriend. Or, you get on the scale on weigh-in day and it hasn’t budged.

 

Either way, you ended up in the pint of ice cream saying to yourself “forget it, what does it matter anyway”.

 

You have just “thrown in the towel” from another diet. If you are a chronic dieter, then more than likely you have “thrown in the towel” quite a few times.

 

But, have you ever asked yourself, “When will this end?”

 

I’ll tell you when! When you finally realize that diets are not working for you. Never have, never will. When you decide that to give up dieting, you need another path. And, you have discovered intuitive eating is that path.

 

Okay, so let’s talk about this intuitive eating path.

 

You start working with me to learn how to reclaim being an intuitive eater (I say “reclaim” because let me remind you that you were born an intuitive eater). And you immediately are having major “aha” moments. Wow, you are discovering things about yourself, your past, your beliefs that you never realized impacted your relationship with food.

 

This is great! You laugh, you cry, all from a good place of finally moving forward.

 

Then it happens. You disappear, stop showing up for your appointments and stop returning emails and phone calls.

 

What is going on?

 

More than likely, an old familiar trigger has popped up and you haven’t yet learned how to handle it. So, you fall back into past overeating habits. Now you feel bad, embarrassed and say to yourself “you see, this won’t work either”. And, you throw in the towel.

 

Now here is the difference between intuitive eating and dieting….

 

THERE IS NO FAILURE IN INTUITIVE EATING!

 

THERE IS NO “THROWING IN THE TOWEL” IN INTUITIVE EATING!

 

Intuitive eating is a learning experience. It’s a process of ups and downs. Whatever trigger has thrown you “for a loop”, you’ll learn from it. Don’t let it take you back to a place that you DON’T want to be….back to the land of dieting!

 

I am here to help you become an intuitive eater. I can help you reach your goal of being diet-free.

 

Reach out to me if you are interested in going from Dieter to Intuitive Eater! We can have a strategy session to see how I can help you and what will work best for you.

 

Eating Intuitively While You’re Sick

Do you ever worry about what will happen the first time you get sick while on your intuitive eating journey? Do you worry that you’ll find it hard to listen to your body and may fall back into old habits? Unfortunately, it can be harder for you to eat intuitively while you’re sick, but that doesn’t mean you have to fall back into old habits.

 

Let me tell you a lesson I learned a few years ago about a time I was sick and how it affected my intuitive eating journey.

 

I don’t usually get sick so when I do, it really throws me for a loop.

 

After I woke up one morning from a difficult night sleep, with a sore throat, coughing, and achy body, I went into the kitchen to prepare my breakfast. What I realized as I tuned into my hunger signals was that I wasn’t really hearing hunger. I stopped to think about this. The last time I ate was dinner the night before, and I am usually hungry in the morning. Yet, I just wasn’t feeling it that morning.

 

So, what do you think I did?

 

Well, I could have left the kitchen and said I’m not going to eat because I don’t hear my hunger. But that’s not what I did. I changed up my breakfast a bit, and had a much smaller breakfast with a cup of tea.

 

A few hours later, I sensed a gentle hunger, but still not typical of my usual hunger mid-day. Yet, I realized that it’s been some time since I’ve eaten, and it’s very important to keep my energy levels up with proper fuel. And so again, I tweaked what my usual lunch would be, and had a smaller lunch with another cup of tea.

 

The lesson I am sharing with you here is this.

 

While I encourage you to tune into your inner hunger signals as your guide to eating, there are times when those hunger signals might be blunted. And, one of those times is during illness. Therefore, even if you don’t hear and feel the hunger signals like you normally do, it’s still so important to eat so you can properly nourish your body.

 

The best option when you’re sick and don’t feel or hear your hunger signals, is to choose healthful “sick friendly” foods. These types of foods are easy on the stomach (and in my case, easy on my throat). But do keep in mind while you are eating that this might be one situation where you just don’t hear those hunger signals as sharp as when you are feeling well. And that’s okay!

 

The most important thing to remember is that while you are sick, your body needs nourishment to feel better, which is why it is necessary for you to eat, even if you have trouble hearing your hunger signals.

 

If you are on your intuitive eating journey and struggling with this journey while you are sick, please reach out to me. I can help you navigate this hurdle and continue on your intuitive eating journey.

 

Email me at Bonnie@DietFreeRadiantMe.com and we can work through your sickness together.

 

I’m Dieting But I’m Still Gaining Weight

You’re standing in front of the mirror having changed your clothes three times already this morning.  Nothing seems to fit right.  You are discouraged and start with the negative self-talk you are all too familiar with.  “Why can’t I just stick to my diet”, you say to yourself.  “I am such a failure; I will never succeed at weight loss”.  “Tomorrow I will start my diet again”.

 

Does this sound familiar to you?  If you have been battling your weight for some time, then likely you have been on countless diets that have not worked long term and you have gotten very good at berating yourself for your failures.  The commercials all sound so promising!  The radio ads promise fat burning powers of the miracle pills you just bought at the health food store.  Why aren’t you able to lose weight?

 

The answer lies in the fact that you are dieting. 

 

Let me repeat that!

 

The answer lies in the fact that you are dieting. 

 

You see, nobody lives on a diet.  One goes on a diet but eventually goes off the diet.

 

The Stats You Know

 

Forty to 50% of American women are trying to lose weight and are on a diet at any point in time.  Half of pre-teen and teenage girls are on diets. However, 95% -97% of all dieters regain their lost weight and more within 1 to 5 years.

 

These are very alarming statistics because dieting clearly doesn’t work and repeated “yo-yo” dieting has been shown to have negative health effects, including an increased risk of heart disease and long-lasting effects on the metabolism.

 

The Side Effects of Dieting

 

Dieting makes you preoccupied with food; what you ate yesterday, this morning, 1 hour ago, and what you will eat later and tomorrow.  Dieting makes food the enemy and causes guilty feelings when you don’t eat diet-type foods.

 

When you go on a diet, you are in essence putting your body into a short-term starvation state.  When given the first opportunity to really eat what you desire, you will often experience a feeling of such intensity that any initial thoughts of wanting to be thin fly out the window.  You feel out of control, guilty, and view yourself as having no willpower.

 

However, listen up!

 

This type of eating in response to semi-starvation is actually normal.  It has nothing to do with willpower!  When you are underfed, you will obsess about food.  Period!

 

The best solution to achieving peace with food and your body is to embrace an intuitive eating approach to food.  Intuitive eating is eating based on your physiological hunger and satiety cues not based on situations or emotional cues.  So, that means eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are satisfied or comfortably full.

 

Now, I recognize that for the chronic yo-yo dieter, this is not necessarily easy.  It requires you to explore how you got to where you are today in your eating habits and understand deeply what it means to become an intuitive eater.  During this process, it is important for you to begin to get rid of the diet mentality that you have, and to truly believe that you will never diet again.  If you continue to think there is “just one more diet, this time I’ll be good”, then you won’t be able to move forward to becoming an intuitive eater.   You will continue to have foods that are “good” and “bad” and you will continue to think of yourself as being “on” or “off”.

 

To help you get started on the path of intuitive eating, commit to the following 3 steps:

 

  1. Throw out all the diet books and pre-printed menus from magazines that you have tried over the years. Make a commitment to yourself that you will no longer be tempted by new diets that come out because you are committed to learning to listen to your body.

 

  1. Get rid of the bathroom scale. Do you weigh yourself every morning or even several times per day?  Does the number on the scale influence your mood for the day?  Most likely it does, even if you don’t consciously realize it.  Your weight fluctuates day to day and is a measure of more than just fat.  It includes your bones, organs, muscle and substances such as water, food and waste that pass through your system.  Begin to measure your success by other factors other than the scale such as improved blood work, blood pressure, mood, energy level and overall satisfaction with your progress toward becoming an intuitive eater.

 

  1. Seek out caring support to help you on your journey. Becoming an intuitive eater is a process and the amount of time it takes will depend on how long you have been dieting, how strong your diet mentality is, how long you have been using food to cope with your emotions and how willing you are to trust yourself.  It is very important for you to surround yourself with like-minded people who can provide positive feedback and support.

 

You were born with the natural instinct to eat when hungry and stop when full.  Chances are you lost this ability due to all the diets you tried and the media exposure to quick-fixes.  You can reclaim what you were born with and achieve guilt-free eating, a body you love and a life free of dieting.   Intuitive eating is the answer you have been looking for.

 

Reach out to me if you are interested in going from Dieter to Intuitive Eater! There’s no shame in asking for help!

 

Is Structuring My Meals Still Dieting?

This week’s Intuitive Eating Wednesday Question is:

Is it okay to have some structure around intuitive eating? Like having a basic plan to go by, with suggestions of what to eat, especially when you’re new to intuitive eating.”

 

This is such a common question, and I’m sure you have been wondering the same thing. It all comes down to 2 questions.

 

  1. What do you mean by having “structure”?
  2. Do you still possess a diet mentality?

 

Let’s tackle question number one first.

 

The definition of the word ‘structure’ according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary is:

something arranged in a definite pattern of organization.”

 

Arranging your eating pattern for the day into meals plus ‘as needed’ snacks would be putting a structure to your eating pattern. It’s basically laying down some guidelines for yourself so you have a basic idea of what you will eat for that particular day. As long as these are foods that you love and feel good in your body, then what you are doing is planning. And my motto is:

 

 

You plan vacations, you plan your children’s activities, and you plan work tasks. You plan many different areas of your life. Why wouldn’t you plan your meals?

 

However, if you break out in hives because your plan does not pan out, and you have difficulty being flexible with it, then this meal plan structure is just another diet.

 

Which leads me to question number two.

 

Do you possess a diet mentality?

 

As stated above, if the meal plan structure you’ve created for yourself leads you to feel deprived of foods you didn’t include in your plan because you think they aren’t “nutritious” for you, and this leads to overeating or bingeing on these foods when you “just can’t take it anymore”, then this structure is doing you more harm than good.

 

This is why the first step on your intuitive eating journey must be shifting your mindset. It requires you to acknowledge all the damage that dieting has done, biologically, health wise, psychologically and emotionally! And not just acknowledge it. Really get down deep to understand why you will never ever diet again. This step takes time. You must not rush it.

 

Is it scary to no longer diet, and not have a meal plan to guide your eating?

 

Absolutely. I’m not saying stop dieting and stop paying attention to what you put into your mouth. I’m saying to throw away the diet rules and relax your eating. Eat your meals, and choose foods that feel good in your body because your body needs the nutrition and the energy it gets from food.

 

It’s okay to plan, but be conscious that the planning does not become dieting.

 

Let’s discuss this further on today’s Facebook LIVE at 1:30 pm EST on my Facebook business page HERE. LIKE the page now so you get notification when I go live.

 

If you are reading this after we went live, just head on over to the FB page and you’ll find the replay under Videos. I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments and questions.

 

 

Freedom to Eat Forever Bonnie GIller

Here’s What to Do to Lose Weight Forever

Freedom to Eat Forever Bonnie GIllerAnyone who works with me knows that self-care is a major part of my work. Between taking an extra few minutes for yourself each day, fueling your body with nourishing foods, and knowing when to ask others for support, there are many ways you can put your self-care in the forefront of your life.

 

The process of improving your self-care may be slow starting and its okay to take baby steps to help yourself.

 

You may have started by giving yourself a few minutes to de-stress each day and eventually moved to learning how to prioritize your activities so you are doing what you enjoy most.

 

I have seen a lot of great turnarounds over the last year; people like yourself who have taken their self-care from the back burner to the front and center of their life. Making this shift is a major step on your intuitive eating journey.

 

Yet, what I am finding is that many of you are stopping there.

 

You are not taking the process to the next level.

 

You are seeking out free resources to help you become an intuitive eater, yet you are still spinning your wheels.

 

You are taking 3 steps forward, 2 steps backward.

 

Sure, if you continue at this pace, you may eventually get to where you want to be (an intuitive eater) but why wait that long?

 

You can accelerate the process by partnering with the right person who will guide you using an organized proven system.

 

I am that person for you.  And I have the system for you.

 

It’s the Freedom to Eat Forever™ Program, a 5 step intuitive eating process that will enable you to enjoy guilt-free eating and a life free of dieting.

 

But you know what? You have to step up to the plate and invest in yourself and your future. It’s when you invest in yourself that you see the results. I did it, and so can you.

 

Check out this cool video. Then email me or Facebook message me if you want to see if it’s your time for Freedom to Eat Forever™.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hurry. Class starts February 22, 2017. I don’t want you to be left out. Take your intuitive eating to the next level.

 

Are You Destined to Be Fat?

You know how to eat healthfully. You have heard it time and time again.

 

Eat whole foods, lean proteins, whole grains, plenty of fruits and veggies (the colors of the rainbow) and healthy fats. And, yes, avoid highly processed foods!

 

You don’t need anyone to tell you this! You know this already.

 

You actually have eaten like this. Then stopped eating like this. Then started eating like this again, then stopped again! Yikes, I’m getting dizzy!

 

Why do you NOT do what you know is good for you?

 

Well, there might be several reasons. For starters, it’s easy to fall back into old habits. Change is hard, there’s no doubt about that. And change takes time, patience and perseverance. You can do it as long as life cooperates. But once life throws you a curve ball, you haven’t learned how to juggle that curve ball while maintaining your newfound healthy habits. So, you fall back into old familiar habits that feel safe, even if they aren’t healthy for you.

 

Now, don’t feel bad about this. It happens to the best of us. What you should feel bad about is if you don’t keep trying. If you just throw in the towel and say and do one of the two following statements:

 

  • “It doesn’t matter, I’m destined to be fat, and so I might as well just forget trying. I’m going to enjoy my food and I’ll show them (by the way, who is “them”)?”

 

  • “I’m going to try the Atkins diet again, or Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time”.

 

Now, let’s discuss each of the above statements.

 

In statement number one, you are engaging in pessimistic thinking (the cup is half empty). This type of self-talk is negative messaging that only leads to more unhappiness and self-destructive thoughts and behaviors.

 

In statement number two, you know full well that diets don’t work. I don’t care what diet it is. Diets just don’t work as a ‘forever’.

 

Again, you know this. So, why do you fall for the fad diet’s false advertising time and time again?

 

I am going to explain why in full detail AND I am going to give away my 5 Step System to Break Free of Dieting so you can get the body and life you love on my upcoming Free Online Training.

 

Here are the deets:

 

Tuesday, February 7, 2017 at 8 pm EST/5 pm PST.

 

Register for free HERE.

 

You don’t want to miss this event.  I am going to shed some light on those limiting beliefs and mental blocks that are holding you back from committing to breaking free from dieting!  If you really want to lose weight and never gain it back, join me on February 7th!

 

There is no reason not to show up live.

 

Register for free HERE.

 

Did You Get Sucked in to the New Year’s Diet Scheme?

I’m sure it feels like everyone you know is starting a new diet or workout regime this month. In the past I’m sure that even YOU have fallen into the hypnosis of the “January start a new diet” trend set by the diet industry. I want to challenge you to try a different approach to your health this year.

 

The truth is that every “new diet” you see is actually the same. There is always going to be the latest trend hitting the internet or newsstands. But at the end of the day, all diets have one thing in common: someone other than yourself is telling you what to eat, when to eat, and how to eat.  And truth be told, they aren’t going to help you feel better about your relationship with food OR yourself.

 

So, let’s not kick off 2017 with a cloud of dieting thoughts over your head, okay? It’s time to jump OFF the diet roller coaster and to start listening to your inner wisdom.

 

Who better to listen to than your own body?

 

Okay, so this sounds all great, right? And the new programs that are being marketed now are calling themselves “Lifestyle Programs”. But let me let you in on a little secret. Those “Lifestyle Programs” are just fancy names for diets. They say they want to help you make lifestyle changes, but they are still giving you lists of foods to eat and not to eat.

 

Oh, by the way, don’t even get me started on those doctors with Harvard degrees that are promoting “Detoxes”. Give me a break! Anyone is going to lose weight if they drink these concoctions for a week or a month. Then what happens after the detox is over? You know what happens….

 

But I divert. Let me get back on course here.
If you are riding the diet roller coaster, you’re probably unhappy with your body and have an unhealthy relationship with food.

 

Coming next month I have a free training called “The 5 Steps to Break Free of Dieting” where I explain the 5 steps you need to get the body and life you love without the pain and restriction of dieting.

 

Come join our Facebook community group to get notified when this free training will take place, or check back to this blog next week for more information!

 

Please Tell Me What to Eat!

“Can you give me a meal plan WHILE we work on intuitive eating?”

 

This is a question I hear often from clients who are contemplating starting the intuitive eating journey!

 

The answer is NO! Giving you a meal plan goes against the core beliefs of intuitive eating which is eating based on YOUR inner body wisdom, not a pre-printed meal plan. Even if this meal plan is “calculated” and customized for you.

 

Let me explain.

 

You have been on many diets over the years. Perhaps these were formal diets such as Weight Watchers (you can have x points per day), Jenny Craig (you can only eat our prepackaged meals), Atkins (no carbs!) etc.

 

Or, you were on what I call a “Self-Designed Diet”, meaning you created rules that you told yourself you’d follow. Example:
• I can only eat carbs for lunch, never with dinner.

• I must stop eating by 7 pm every night.

• If I snack, it can only be on a fruit or veggie sticks

 

You get the picture, right?

 

Point is, these diets or your own self-designed diets gave you the rules of eating. You followed them like the good girl you are. But these diets don’t take into account what your internal body cues are telling you about when to start eating and when to stop. You eat when, what and how much the diet tells you to.

 

So, what’s the big deal?
This only “works” for as long as you “follow” it. Then when you have a bad day or an uncomfortable emotion surfaces that you’d just rather not feel, BAM….off the diet you go.

 

This cycle continues until you realize that you need off this merry-go-round. There is no joy in eating anymore. So, you hear me talking about intuitive eating and you’re like, “wow, this sounds amazing. Let’s do it. But, can you give me a meal plan too?’

 

I hope you now see why my answer is “no”. Not because I don’t want to help you. But because on the contrary, a meal plan will keep you dieting by telling you when to eat, how much to eat and what to eat. It does not allow you to relearn how to let your body guide your eating decisions.

 

Having said this, I will also say that at a certain point on the intuitive eating journey when my clients raise their hand and say “YES, the intuitive eater within me has woken up”, then we start talking about nutrition. And guess what? You are now able to make the best choices for yourself with my guidance based on what feels awesome in your body!

 

Sounds intriguing? Want in on this journey? Just reach out to me at www.TalkWithBonnie.com and let me know you want to Break Free of Dieting for good! I’m here to support you!

 

 

New Year, More Mindfulness

Whenever the New Year nears, it’s all about “New Year, New Me”.  The “new me” is usually associated with joining the gym and going on a crash diet, all to lose a few pounds.  Instead of starting your New Year off with enjoyment and ready to tackle what comes your way, you’re starting it off with food restrictions and stress about going to the gym and “needing” to lose the weight.

 

Why do you associate the New Year with weight loss?

 

Let’s try something different this New Year and reframe your thought process.  Change your “New Year, New Me” mentality into “New Year, More Mindfulness”.  By taking a step back from focusing solely on weight loss and what your body looks like, you’ll develop a greater appreciation for what your body is capable of and what it needs to be its best.

 

Here are 5 tips on how to, or continue to, be mindful in the New Year:

 

  1. Recommit to your diet-free journey. Remind yourself why you began your intuitive eating journey, or are planning to begin it. Then every time another commercial hits the airwaves, an email pops up in your inbox or your friend chews your ear off with the new diet she is on, quietly repeat this mantra to yourself “I have committed to a diet-free life. I rock!”

 

  1. State your New Year intention. Set a clear intention about what you want to experience in 2017 and what steps you will take to reach your goals. Write down your big intention and keep it in a visible spot around your home.  Reflect back on it throughout the year when you need a reminder about what you want to accomplish by 2018!!

 

  1. Listen to your body. Instead of focusing on the weight you “need” to lose and restricting your favorite foods, focus on listening to your body. What is your body trying to tell you?  Does it want you to stop dieting?  Does it want you to feed it nourishing meals?  By taking the time to listen to your body, you’ll develop a stronger relationship with it and you’ll learn to love your body.

 

  1. Practice moderation, not deprivation. You may feel like you need to deprive yourself to avoid weight gain, but that’s not true. When you deprive yourself, the backlash is overeating and bingeing.  If you take the time to listen to your body and savor each bite, you’ll find you are satisfied with smaller portions.

 

  1. Avoid celebrating with food. Whenever something good happens in life, birthday, promotion, anniversary, etc., going out to eat is the common way to celebrate. But, if you’re struggling with your relationship with food, this can be a difficult time.  Instead of going out to eat to celebrate an occasion, find another way to celebrate that makes you feel comfortable and happy,

 

By becoming more mindful of your body and what your body needs, you’ll be able to give your body what it wants.  With mindfulness, you’ll learn to become an intuitive eater.  You’ll be able to avoid overeating, feeding your emotions and loving your body once again.

 

If you want to talk, just contact me here.