Tag Archive for: diet talk

4 Ways to Deal with Food and Body Comments at Your Holiday Dinner

Why is it that people think they have the right to comment on what you’re eating or not eating? To me, this is synonymous with someone touching a pregnant woman’s belly.

 

No, this is not okay!

 

Yet, it happens All. The. Time.

 

Think back to your last holiday get-together. There you are enjoying the meal when Auntie Mary quietly (or not so quietly) says “Are you allowed to have that? I thought you were on a diet?”

 

Or your partner gives you “the eyes” as you reach for the holiday cookies at dessert time.

 

Or, maybe the conversation at the table is all about what diets everyone will start in the New Year!

 

I recognize that family get-togethers can pose some major obstacles as you navigate your path back towards Intuitive Eating.

 

Here are 4 ways to deal with these invading comments:

 

1.Manage your expectations, know your triggers. If you know that your parent, aunt, partner, cousin etc. typically makes these types of intrusive comments, be ready with a comeback for when they open their mouth. Try something like:

 

“It is not okay to comment on what I’m eating or not eating. Please focus on your own plate.”

 

Simple, straightforward, firm yet respectful at the same time.

 

2. Set boundaries. At the start of the holiday meal, set the boundaries that you would appreciate no diet talk at the table. You can say something like:

 

“I would like to ask a favor of everyone here. I have a hard time hearing about people’s diets, detoxes, plans etc. Those things have caused me to have a difficult relationship with food and my body, and I’m trying to recover. So, let’s keep the conversation “diet-free”.

 

3. Change the subject. When someone makes a comment that is triggering for you, just change the subject and say, “We haven’t seen each other in so long, what have you been up to lately?” Or, “have you read any new books recently. I’m looking for a recommendation.”

 

4. Practice self-care. Rest, movement and stress management are essential to calmly managing situations that otherwise might be irritating. Think about it. If you are exhausted, you have less patience and will either take it out on your family member or on the food. So take some time to build in rest, movement and stress management strategies to keep you calm, cool and collected.

 

What About Food Pushers?

 

A food pusher is someone who continuously asks you to have more food, even after you’ve stated that you don’t want, or that you’ve had enough.

 

We all probably know these types of people. But how do you deal with them?

 

Join me today for a LIVE Training where we will dig deeper into navigating negative food and body talk, AND how to deal with these food pushers.

It’s all happening in the Intuitive Eating for a Diet Free Life private Facebook Group right HERE. Join us!

 

 

Dreading the Diet Talk at Your Holiday Meal? Here’s 3 Survival Tips!

It’s only 5 days until Christmas, which means you’ll likely be surrounded by family, friends, food and wine! The holiday season brings with it all types of emotions, some happy and some sad.

 

Add to these emotions the fact that you are surrounded by dieting messages at every turn. “New Year, New You” is a common theme as we end one year and begin planning for the next. This message is enmeshed in diet culture, sucking you into thinking there’s something wrong with the “current you”!

 

I’m here to tell you there is nothing wrong with you, just as you are now!

 

If you have achieved a peaceful relationship with food and your body, then you are in a place where these media messages are benign to you. They don’t affect you, except make you mad as hell that the diet industry is praying on those desperate to lose weight.

 

But thankfully, that is not you anymore. You appreciate your body, you are at peace with food, and you are enjoying the holiday meals without guilt. And I am so happy for you.

 

If you aren’t yet there yet, just know that I realize this next week may be challenging for you. If you will be surrounded by family members who are dieting, you will hear comments at your holiday meal such as:

“I shouldn’t be eating this, but…”

“I’m starting Diet X on January 1st…”

“I can’t eat that dessert, you are?”

 

How you handle these comments will determine whether you slip back into diet mentality or not.

 

Here are 3 Tips to Help You Navigate the Diet Talk at Your Holiday Meal:

  1. Maintain awareness: That word right there, awareness, will be the difference between you throwing in the towel or standing your ground. Stay present within your body and make purposeful food choices that honor you! If at any point you find yourself losing that awareness, that’s okay. Bring yourself back to the present moment with a pause and a few deep breaths.

 

  1. Tune out the diet talk: When the family starts getting into all the diet talk, just tune them out. Start to sing your favorite song in your head, think about the good time you had on your last vacation, or excuse yourself from the table for a stretch and walk around the house. You will be so thankful that you are no longer going down the rabbit hole of the ‘New Year Diet’!

 

  1. Change the topic: When the conversation goes to the food and should/shouldn’ts, change the topic! Be the leader in moving the conversation to where you want it to go. A good idea is to have some conversation starters ready to go such as:

 

  • “What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in the last 6 months?”
  • “If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?”
  • “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”
  • “What’s your biggest pet peeve?”

 

You have the power within you to resist falling back into diet mentality. Keep reminding yourself of this, especially as December is coming to a close and a New Year is beginning!

 

And, give thought to how you want your intuitive eating journey to look in 2018.

 

If you are content in continuing to go it alone and are happy with your progress, then I am happy for you too!

 

But if any part of you would like a smoother transition into the world of intuitive eating, then reach out to me and let’s see how I can support you in the New Year. Just answer a few questions at www.TalkWithBonnie.com and we will set up a time to speak.

 

Best wishes for a Happy Holiday!

 

 

3 Tips to Shut Down Diet and Food Talk at Your Thanksgiving Table

It’s Thanksgiving and I couldn’t be more excited. I just love this holiday where we stop and say thanks and show gratitude for all we have in our lives.

 

I also love cooking all the traditional Thanksgiving dishes. Since I’m off from work on Thanksgiving, I take my time cooking, with my daughters by my side helping. No pressure, no rushing, just some music, laughter, great conversation and recipe making.

 

We then sit down to an intimate meal with my immediate family and bond. I love it.

 

But for the intuitive eater in training (that might be you if you are in the midst of your journey), the whole thought of sitting down to a Thanksgiving feast might be intimidating. Maybe you still have some food fear and haven’t fully allowed all foods into your life yet. Or, maybe you have made peace with food and feel super comfortable approaching this holiday meal, but the issue you are worrying about is what others might say or think when they see you eating stuffing, sweet potatoes and pecan pie.

 

Let me back up and explain.

 

The Struggle for an Intuitive Eater in Training

 

You have been on your intuitive eating journey for some time. You have made peace with food and your body, and you are ready to approach your very first Thanksgiving as an intuitive eater. You have no qualms about eating what you love. But, what about all those family members who have seen you dieting for most of your adult life?

 

You know the ones. Your sister-in-law, mother, or cousin who have dieted with you in years past and who have joined in with you at the holiday meal saying things like “I shouldn’t eat this but …..”, or “this has SO many calories, and is SO bad for me, but I’m going to eat it anyway”.

 

They are probably still dieting, but you aren’t (lucky you)! But when they see you eating and NOT commenting with them about how guilty you feel or how stuffed you are, you may feel they are judging you.

 

Or, there may be family members who just know you as the ‘dieter’ and have never seen you eat in public. They don’t realize that when you’ve restricted in the past, you’d just go home and eat whatever you can find. So for them, they may say outright to you: “YOU eat that now? I’ve never seen you eat this.”

 

3 tips to shut down the diet and food talk at your Thanksgiving table:

 

  1. Say with confidence: “Yes, I eat all foods. Food is just food”. And, leave it at that.

 

  1. Say with boldness: “Please do not comment on what I am eating. Let’s focus on the beauty of the holiday, not my food.”

 

  1. Say with firmness: “This house is a diet-free talk zone. We don’t discuss diets or shame people for eating. Thank you for respecting this house rule”.

 

The most important person is YOU. Have confidence in yourself and in your food choices that you are making to honor and respect your body. You are in the drivers seat now, you are no longer a passenger on the diet train.

 

If you’d like my support at any point on your journey, just reach out to me HERE.

 

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

 

 

Protecting Yourself Against New Year’s Diet Talk

New-years-resolution-writing-with-a-red-pen-in-a-calandarYou have made the commitment to never diet again. Yay you!! The only problem you are facing now is the constant bombardment of the media with THE way for you to finally lose your excess weight now that the New Year is approaching.

 

All this diet talk sends chills up my spine. Actually it makes me downright mad. I am really so tired of hearing about the next miracle diet to hit the market.

 

You know why I am so mad about it?

 

Because it’s the innocent, decent people like you that get hurt. It is so easy to get sucked into the amazing claims these diets tout, why wouldn’t you say “let me try it, this will be THE one.”

 

But sadly, it isn’t so. Not too soon after January 1st you will be throwing in the towel on this diet too.

 

So the question is, how do you deal with the media and how do you deal with your girlfriends who are getting ready to embark on a new diet come January 1st?

 

Here’s how:

  • Recommit to your diet-free way of life. Remind yourself why you began your intuitive eating journey. Then every time another commercial hits the airwaves, an email pops up in your inbox or your friend chews your ear off with the new diet she is on, quietly repeat this mantra to yourself “I have committed to a diet-free life. I rock!”

 

  • Unsubscribe from all diet-related email subscriptions, or magazines that advertise the latest diets and “here’s how to lose the baby weight fast” articles.

 

  • Find a buddy to join you on your diet-free journey. Not sure where to find one? Join us in the Diet Free Radiant Me™ online community where there are hundreds of others who are breaking free of diets!

 

I’m keeping this blog short, sweet and to the point.

 

1.Commit to your diet-free lifestyle and learning to practice intuitive eating.

 

2.Close your eyes and ears to others who talk diets.

 

3.Get the right support for your journey.

 

Your turn to take action: How does all this end of year/New Year diet talk make YOU feel? What action will you do to stay free and clear of the diet industry vultures?

 

 

Diet Chatter at the Hair Salon

Bonnie Hair SalonIt’s interesting the conversations you overhear in the hair salon!

 

Yesterday, I was at the salon getting my hair done. As I was sitting minding my own business reading some notes in preparation for an interview later in the day (as a side note, I was interviewed for a telesummit, more on that in the next week or so), I overheard a few women talking.

 

What do you think the conversation was about?

 

Well, when a bunch of women get together, the chatter is usually about the latest diet they are on. One woman was following Atkins, the other cut out all carbs but isn’t “quite doing Atkins”, yet a third is on a liquid diet.

 

My hairdresser, knowing what I do for a living, said to me “Bonnie, you aren’t going to like this, but I have cut out all carbs and breads. I just can’t figure out how to limit it”. She went on to tell me about her experience with Cheese-its. As much as she tries to limit to a serving, she wipes out the box in a day, okay, maybe 2 she says if she really has “willpower”.

 

Ugh, there’s that word again…WILLPOWER!

 

Listen up! It’s not about willpower. Willpower is you trying to get yourself to do something that you don’t want to do. You might be able to hold off for a few days, heck maybe even a few weeks, but then it gets you!

 

Another woman commented that her friend told her that she noticed when she eats slower, she gets fuller faster and is more satisfied.

 

BINGO! That woman got it!

 

By engaging in mindful eating and tuning into your inner signals of hunger and satiety, you can trust your body to tell you when you’ve had enough to eat. And, you can eat a serving of Cheese-its and stop.

 

Intuitive eating is a process. It takes time to learn. But, what’s your rush?

 

If you need help getting started on your path towards intuitive eating, don’t’ be shy. Reach out to me here.