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3 Ways to Push Past Fear (So it No Longer Holds You Back)

Fear is a paralyzing feeling. It keeps you from trying new experiences, making change and truly living a fulfilling life.

 

Fear is real. Nobody should make you feel “less than” for having fear. On the contrary, if someone really cares about you, they should help you overcome your fear.

 

In my world of working with chronic dieters and emotional eaters, the two big fears I hear almost daily is giving up the food rules and the fear of failing at intuitive eating.

 

No More Food Rules?

Giving up dieting means that you no longer follow external rules of “eat this, not that, in this way, at this time”. Yikes, that’s a scary thought. For decades you’ve been following the rules of what and how to eat by some arbitrary source other than yourself. So the thought of not having this direction is scary.

 

“How will I know what to eat?”

“How will I know when to eat?”

“How will I know how much to eat?”

 

Great questions! You will instinctively know the answer to each of these questions once you learn to listen to your innate body wisdom. This will take time. But it is possible.

 

Fear of Failing

The fear of failing is real. I know it. You’ve been on countless diets and while you may have had some success, as measured only by weight loss, that success was short-lived. Yet, you repeated the cycle over and over again, and each time, you considered yourself a failure.

 

Who wants to experience failure?

 

No one!

 

Well, the beautiful part of intuitive eating is there’s no failure in intuitive eating. You are not on or off anything, so there’s no falling “off track” or “off the wagon”. There are no rules for you to feel like you are “breaking”. What you once thought of as a slip up is truly an opportunity of growth and moving forward.

 

Intuitive eating is a whole new way of looking at your relationship with food. I promise you, if you are willing to do the work, then you will not fail.

 

Food is meant to bring you pleasure, not torture. Don’t let fear hold you back.

 

3 Ways to Push Past the Fear

  1. Take a leap of faith. While the unknown is scary, it can also be exciting. Remind yourself that what you’ve been doing over and over again has not brought you the peace you want. But maybe, just maybe, it is within reach if you just take that leap of faith.

 

  1. Believe in yourself. You have been put on this earth for a purpose. Your food and body worry has taken up so much brain space and time that it is preventing you from living your purpose. Believe that you are capable of change and change will come.

 

  1. Just decide its time. Let this moment be the moment that you decide that its time to stop struggling. You’ve had enough, your done, and you are ready for the next chapter. Making a decision is powerful. Once you do it, the fear lifts up and floats away.

 

 Isn’t it time for you to put your fear behind you?

 

I vote yes. And I’m here to help you!

 

Can You Fail at Intuitive Eating?

The short answer is no! You cannot fail at intuitive eating. But let’s dig into this topic a bit because the idea of failure is top of mind for chronic dieters.

 

You’ve been down this road before. You want to lose weight so the only way you know how to do that is to go on a diet. You’re going along fine, eating what the diet tells you to, not eating what you “shouldn’t” and you start to feel lighter on your feet. Your clothes are fitting better and you are on a high.

 

Until you aren’t anymore.

 

What happened?

 

Well, you had a bad day at work, you lost a client, your boss yelled at you, you got a ticket driving home, and you had a fight with your partner. You walk in the house and you are in a really foul mood. You head straight to the kitchen and open the fridge to grab that chocolate cake you knew was in there, leftover from the party the other night. You dig in, and you tune out.

 

When you come out of your chocolate cake coma, you are really upset with yourself. You just blew your diet. Now you feel frustrated, angry with yourself, and the negative self-talk begins: “There you go again, screwing it all up”, “You can never stay on a diet, why do you even try”, “You are such a failure”.

 

The above is just one scenario where your desire to be “thin” led you to a diet which led you to feeling like a failure. What are some other scenarios?

 

2 Other Scenarios that Lead to Feelings of Failure

 

  1. Scenario #1: You want to lose weight and be “thin”. You go on a diet, restricting and depriving yourself of your favorite foods. At some point, you can’t stand the deprivation anymore…you must have “just a little” chocolate. You eat a piece, then another, and then another. Now, it’s an all out binge, as you vow to start again tomorrow. What happened here is that the restriction led to cravings which led to bingeing. Now, you feel miserable again and you have a deep desire to lose weight, again. You start the cycle all over> diet>restriction>deprivation>cravings>rebound eating>binge eating. And the feeling you have = FAILURE.

 

  1. Scenario #2: It’s the holiday season, and you’ve dieted your way into that little black dress. You are going to kill it at the holiday parties and family get-togethers. You can’t wait to hear all the compliments about your weight loss and how great you look. But wow, you are surrounded by all these goodies that you haven’t eaten for so long. You tell yourself you are not going to eat anything you “shouldn’t”. But then the inevitable happens. You aren’t paying attention, there’s a little too much alcohol and before you know it, you’ve dipped into the appetizers and pastries. At this point you tell yourself “I deserve it, I’m going to enjoy the holidays and not worry about the food. I’ll get back on my diet on January 1st.” And on January 1st, you wake up and feel miserable . You’ve regained much of the weight you lost, that little black dress doesn’t fit so well anymore, and you feel like a FAILURE.

 

What do you do? See scenario #1 above.

 

A Better Option than Dieting

 

I have another option for you where you will NEVER feel like a failure. And that option is > Intuitive Eating.

 

Intuitive eating is eating based on your physiological need to eat, based on your hunger and fullness signals, and NOT based on situations you are in or emotions you are feeling.

 

Intuitive eating is returning to eating the way you were born.

 

Now, just because you were born an intuitive eater, does not mean the journey back to it is an easy one if you’ve been dieting for years. You see, while as a baby you didn’t give much thought to eating, it was something you just knew (i.e. hunger pangs, cry for food; full belly, push away), as a dieting adult, you haven’t been listening to these signals. You’ve been relying on outside influences to guide your eating.

 

One of the biggest challenges I see with women who are learning to return to being intuitive eaters is TRUST. They are afraid to trust that their bodies will guide them correctly.

 

Is this you too?

 

I get it! You have lost trust in your body and in yourself to make your own food decisions because of all the “failures” from dieting (see scenarios above).

 

So, it’s of utmost importance that you understand that there is no pass or fail in intuitive eating.

 

Read and internalize this next sentence – I cannot fail at intuitive eating!

 

One of the biggest objections I hear from women who hesitate to commit to working on their relationship with food through intuitive eating is that they are afraid to fail again. That they’ve done it all and failed, so why should this work.

 

The reason? You have not tried this before. And if you have and you hit some roadblocks, then it’s more than likely that the diet mentality is still lingering. This is NOT FAILURE. This is part of the process.

 

A New Year Decision

 

Take this moment to commit to your intuitive eating journey. Repeat over and over “I cannot fail at intuitive eating” so a new neural pathway forms. Let this next year be the year where you leave dieting and all the negativity that comes with it behind.

 

I am taking new clients now for 2019. If you’d like to speak with me to see if we are a right fit for working together, just click here.